Finding Home
by sweettooth7
Summary: A tragedy turns 16-year-old Bella's world upside down, and she finds comfort in a boy who has no idea just how much he's giving her.
1. June

_**If you recognize it, it's not mine : )**_

_**I also want to say that I've never been through the type of experience that Bella goes through in this story, so I want to apologize to those who have, if I haven't done it justice. I began writing this during a very difficult time in my life, so I just kind of went with what I felt.**_

_**Enjoy! ...and please review, I'd love to get your feedback. : )**_

* * *

**JUNE**

The accident shook everyone to their core. It happened on a rainy Friday afternoon in June, when they were on their way to spend the weekend at a quiet resort for their wedding anniversary. It was dark, despite the fact that it was only mid-afternoon, and the rain poured down so heavily that the roads were barely visible. He wanted to stay home and travel in better weather. She kept insisting there was no time like the present, and that they could use the rainy weather to their advantage – it would force them to take it easy. And since he could never resist her impulsive, romantic personality, he agreed and they headed out as planned. The poor visibility was making the driving very slow, but as they always did, they enjoyed their time together and settled in for the prolonged drive.

The next thing they knew, a set of bright headlights flashed in front of them, and before he could process what was about to happen, they collided. He couldn't save them. A fraction of a second was all it took for him to realize what was about to happen, and the faces of his wife and daughter – his whole life – flashed before him as he shot into action, but there wasn't enough time. Had he not been killed on impact, he would have blamed himself for the rest of his life.

In that split second, when their lives flashed before their eyes, her hand had reached out for his instinctively in desperation as she called out his name. Amid the wreckage, they were found with their hands limply entwined with one another.

Renee Higginbotham had grown up in the small town of Forks, Washington with her parents and younger sister, Esme, who had always been her very best friend. As a teenager, Renee met Charlie Swan while on a road trip with her friends and they fell instantly in love. He was from Chicago, and they spent a year making their long distance relationship work, before Renee moved there for college to be with him. Esme had stayed close to home, as she was too attached to her parents and her home, and met Carlisle Cullen – a pre-med student who was three years her senior – at the University of Washington. They decided to hold off on marriage until he was finished with his schooling, but were very serious right from the start. Once he graduated from medical school, he discovered that he could have a promising career at the small hospital in Forks, and moved there to marry Esme and start a family.

Three years after they got married, Renee and Charlie found out they were expecting, and were blessed with a beautiful baby girl, who they named Isabella Marie Swan. Though the physical distance was hard for the sisters, they bonded over their synchronized pregnancies. A few months before Bella came along, Esme gave birth to fraternal twins, Alice and Emmett. The cousins were very close throughout their lives, despite the distance between them. Bella would visit Forks every year and spend her entire summer break there. The three of them were best friends, and their mothers were grateful that they could have a close relationship with each other.

Bella was sixteen years old when her parents died in that car accident. She had just arrived home from school, and would be staying at her best friend's house that weekend while her parents were away. She received the phone call from a police officer – one of her father's subordinates – as she was packing her overnight bag, all alone in her home.

A few officials had come to the house to be with her, to sit her down and explain things to her. They discussed the need for a plan, a place she could stay, since she was still a minor. They explained to her that her aunt and uncle were notified, since they were the emergency contacts. Still, Bella could not hear them. She could not find it in her to dial her aunt's phone number and acknowledge what happened.

It was dark outside when Emily had phoned to ask why Bella hadn't arrived at her house yet, and she came right over when Bella told her the news. Bella didn't believe it. Her brain could not process it; wouldn't let her realize what had happened. Emily came right over with her mother, and they would stay the night with Bella.

She called her father's cell phone over and over until the next morning, not quite sure what she was waiting for. She knew he wouldn't answer, but wanted to see what would happen regardless. Over and over. Emily sat with her and held her hand the entire time. But Bella didn't shed one tear, because she couldn't believe that it was true. It was almost as though the police had never come to her home. Never told her the horrible news. Emily cried silently whenever she had a moment away from Bella, as Charlie and Renee had been a big part of her life since her and Bella became friends in the first grade. Luckily for Emily, she had her mother and father to help her through this trauma; a luxury Bella no longer had.

Through Bella's denial of the tragedy, she still did not sleep one wink that night, but instead wandered through each room of her home, sitting quietly for a while before moving to the next one. Thoughts of her parents – where they sat, things they had said – flooded her mind as she flitted from room to room. She touched things they touched, sat in the chairs they sat in. Emily stayed by her side all night long, only leaving her to use the washroom.

At noon on Saturday, as Bella was sitting on the staircase, she heard the front door lock being turned, and she looked up with heavy eyes to see her aunt opening the door. Esme looked frantic, having had difficulty unlocking the door with her key because of her shaking hands. Carlisle followed right behind her with a suitcase – much more stable, much more sombre. Then came Alice, with her red, puffy, cried-out eyes. Emmett followed and brought in another big suitcase, his usually happy face crumpled up in pain.

One look at her family pushed her over the breaking point. Her eyes traveled desperately to each of them before locking with Esme's, and the floodgates were opened. Her heavy sobs shook her entire body, and she held her aunt tightly as they wept together. Bella cried a steady stream of tears until Sunday morning.

The funeral arrangements had been taken care of by Carlisle in the following week, as had the settlement of the Swan estate. Bella was to be left everything they had, and in the unfortunate event of their passing before her 18th birthday, Bella would be sent to live with Esme and Carlisle in Forks.

Carlisle, Alice and Emmett returned home after the commotion of the funeral was over, and Esme stayed behind to live with Bella until it was time for her to move to Forks. Their days were spent packing things up, throwing things away, making donations of things that were still in good condition, and generally emptying the house out. Aunt and niece leaned on each other for support, and made it through each day together. Emily spent every second of her free time with Bella, helping them get everything sorted out, as she too needed to come to terms with Bella's impending departure.

By mid-July, everything had been arranged and the house had been sold, Esme and Bella locked up together and made their way back to Forks – to what would now be Bella's home.

Emily and Bella had vowed to keep in touch regularly, and promised that they would remain close. It was one more thing Bella was losing. All she wanted was for Emily to come with her, to keep a piece of her old life – and her parents – with her forever. Starting at a new school for her last year of high school was not something Bella looked forward to. The only comforting thought she had was that she'd be doing it with Alice and Emmett by her side, and would have Carlisle and Esme to come home to every day.

* * *

_**It's not going to be this bleak the whole time. I promise it gets better!**_


	2. July

**JULY**

Alice and Emmett had always had the same group of friends growing up. They enjoyed each others' company, and never tired of one another, even though they saw each other all day at school, and again all night at home. Their personalities were a perfect complement to one another. Emmett, Jasper Whitlock and Edward Masen had become instant friends when they met in junior kindergarten. The three of them were inseparable all through elementary and middle school, and remained that way through high school, always having each others' backs. They were known by their peers for their unshakable bond.

Emmett, by default, was the protector of the group, since he was the biggest. And from a young age, he was very into sports, which only made him bigger. No one messed with his best friends, and when they did, they were most definitely sorry. Emmett had only ever been in two fights in his life, if you can call them fights. They mostly started and ended with Emmett throwing one punch and the other guy running away like a little girl. The first time was in the fifth grade, when Edward was being picked on, and the jerks broke his glasses. The second time was in the ninth grade, when Alice was being hit on by a junior who was half Emmett's size. The guy wouldn't take no for an answer, and Emmett would not let him get away with it. If there was one thing you could say about Emmett, it was that he was loyal and very protective of his loved ones.

Jasper was the social one. He was involved in every social committee imaginable, just like Alice, which was just one of the reasons why they became fast friends. Jasper was very handsome, and did very well in school. Everyone who met him liked him, he just had an ease about him that made people comfortable. He was also the go-to guy if you needed to confide in someone. Jasper was the most non-judgmental person you'd ever meet, and would take any secret to the grave.

Edward was the scholarly one of the group. He was in a few clubs as well, although they were all academic. He wore glasses and kept mainly to himself, and although he was friendly, he was most comfortable in his small circle of friends. Edward and Alice got along great, balancing each other out since they were polar opposites. She helped him with girls and the odd time he needed help picking out something to wear for a dressy occasion. She had always insisted he try contact lenses, but he refused. As a high school senior, Edward was still the academic he had always been, but had grown a bit more into his own skin and gained a bit more confidence that made social situations a little less intimidating. He could now socially keep up with Emmett and Jasper, which, in his mind, meant he stuck out a lot less. He finally tried the contact lenses in his junior year after a marathon nagging session from Alice, and actually found it nice when his glasses weren't always getting fogged up or wet in the rain.

Alice Cullen was a force to be reckoned with. This was a girl who could hold her own, who commanded attention just by walking into a room with her magnetic personality, and whose ease in almost any situation would ensure that she would go far in life. Her look suggested that she was demure and shy, but she was anything but. Alice grabbed life by the horns and wanted to experience everything. When she was little, she tried it all – from ballet to trumpet. She played the piano for a while and did gymnastics, played soccer and football, and everything else in between. She had to try everything once. She carried her desire to make new friends with her to her teenage years. She joined as many clubs as she could, but never had one select group of friends. She even proposed to Jasper when they were seven years old, and they got "married" under the tree in his backyard. She designated Edward to be the minister, and Emmett gave her away, much to his dismay. Alice's closest companions were Emmett, Edward and Jasper, though she never got too dependent on them. The four of them were very close, but Alice still played the field.

Until she met Rosalie.

Rosalie Hale moved to Forks in the seventh grade, and the two became immediate friends. Alice had met her match, as Rosalie was the frick to her frack, the yin to her yang. The girls initially bonded over their long, flowing hair, getting together to try out different hairstyles on one another. They soon discovered that they didn't like doing anything without the other, and the rest is history. Rosalie hit it off right away with the boys as well, and so Alice found her place, which was where she had been all along. The five of them were rock solid.

Every summer when Bella came to visit, she would be welcomed into the group with open arms, and got along great with Rosalie and Jasper. They very much looked forward to her visits, and were sad to see her leave every August. After all these years, she still hadn't met Edward, but heard an awful lot about him and saw many pictures. Edward went to stay with his grandparents every summer. He would leave about a week before Bella would arrive, and return a few days after she left, every year.

Summers were Bella's favourite time, but this summer would be different. She would be going to Forks under very different circumstances. What the cousins were anticipating on being the best summer ever before senior year, turned out to be the scariest. Bella wouldn't be returning to her parents in time for school to start. She wouldn't be calling them every night to gush about how much fun she was having. She wouldn't be taking a million pictures to show her mom how much Alice and Emmett had grown. She would be returning to Emily, back to the life she knew and loved. She felt like she was in limbo, not having a specific place in the world. She braced herself from now for the end of the summer, which she knew would be hard. The time she should be reuniting with her mom and dad would not come.

Her arrival to Forks came two weeks later than usual, since she had been sorting through the affairs with Esme back home. _Home_.

_Forks is my home now_, she kept reminding herself. _The sooner you accept that, the better._

Bella and Esme's arrival was a very quiet and low-key affair. They made sure that no one knew the exact time of their arrival, so that there would be no visitors. Forks was a small town, and many people still knew and loved Renee. They would want to see her daughter to give their condolences.

When they walked in the door of Bella's new home, hugs and smiles were given to her so that she would know she was more than welcome. This was natural for the Cullens, and they wanted Bella to feel that as well – she fit into their picture. More than fit, she belonged there. As much as she loved her family dearly, it would still take some getting used to. No matter how much she knew that she belonged with them and that she was theirs, she couldn't shake the feeling of being a little alone.

Bella was not the type to enjoy being the centre of attention. She was always more than happy sitting back and enjoying the view, allowing Alice to be front and centre. This was how she wanted it, how it had always been. Emmett was boisterous, Alice was sociable, and Bella was bashful. She loved that she fit in that way, that she was allowed to be withdrawn around them, only coming out of her shell to those she felt closest to. They loved her for her quiet nature, and she loved them for their outgoing and magnetic personalities.

So on that first night in her new home, they ordered pizza and kept things casual. It was best for everyone after what they had all been through. They sat together in the living room and chatted. It was low-key and comfortable.

As Bella was climbing into bed that first night, there was a faint knock at her bedroom door. During her summer visits, she would room with Alice, but now that it was her permanent home, Esme and Carlisle transformed the guest room into Bella's own space. And it was exactly her. Alice's help was enlisted to make sure Bella would love everything, from the bed linens to the desk, to the lamp on her night side table.

"You're not sleeping, are you?" Alice asked in a whisper.

"Nope, come in," Bella replied.

Alice climbed onto Bella's bed, and they sat cross-legged, facing one another. Alice took Bella's hand in both of hers, and fidgeted with it while she spoke.

"I'm really happy you're here," Alice told her. "I know things are different now," she trailed off as her voice shook a little and she fought off tears. "But I'm happy we're together."

"Me too," Bella said, forcing a smile. It's not that she didn't feel that way, it was just difficult for her to show any kind of emotion. Smiling wasn't natural, it was almost painful. It was too soon for her, even though she was almost euphoric that this was where she got to end up after this tragedy. "I'm better off here than anywhere else. We can do this together." The girls knew the implication of Bella's words – Alice would help pull Bella through this, and Bella would let her.

Alice leaned in and the two embraced in a long, tight hug. When they broke apart, Alice grabbed Bella's face in her hands. "I love you, Bells."

Bella, in turn, grabbed Alice's face as well. "I love you too."

And then Alice was off to bed. After an hour and a half of lying wide awake in her bed, Bella climbed out and silently crept down the hall. She quietly opened the door to Alice's room and got into bed with her cousin. Bella wasn't ready to be alone just yet.

On Bella's second day in Forks, Rosalie and Jasper came by just after dinner to see Bella and offer their sympathy. They had heard about the loss of their best friends' aunt and uncle, and were heartbroken for the family. Bella was a friend of theirs too, and they were sad for her.

"Bella, we're going to hang out at Rosie's tonight, do you wanna come?" Alice asked.

"No, thanks. I think I'll stay in."

"Are you sure? It'll just be the five of us, no one else. And we're just going to sit around and play cards or something."

"I'm sure. Thanks, Alice."

Bella tried as hard as she could to offer a warm, thankful smile. But all she could muster was a tired half-smile. She told them all to have fun and that she'd see them soon, and then headed off to bed early. This would be her routine for the next two weeks. She was afraid to go anywhere. Afraid to see a movie, just in case something in it would remind her of her parents. Afraid to go out to eat, since she would likely see families. Afraid to go anywhere, really, since her mother had told her so much about her time in Forks, that she didn't want to have her memories triggered.

She had never realized how much she thought about her mother during every one of her visits, it never really seemed to be a factor until now. She used to welcome the reminders, thinking, _Oh yeah, mom told me about that time she ordered three sundaes at the diner after her breakup with John Newton_. Now, the thought of seeing something that would remind her of them made her stomach turn. But yet, she couldn't bring herself to think of anything but them.


	3. August

**AUGUST**

The day came and went – the day she usually went back home, another summer behind her. Everyone knew what the day marked for her, and no one talked about it. Instead, Bella made her way to Alice's room that evening after a quiet dinner, where Alice later found her crying on the bed. She climbed in with Bella, pulled the covers over the both of them, and cried with her.


	4. September

**SEPTEMBER**

Bella had been living in Forks for almost two months on the day that everything changed. For the entire summer, she had been making an effort to not be depressed all the time. She smiled when appropriate, tried making jokes if conversations were light, and generally spent all her energy on trying to look like she was moving on. Little did she know that she wasn't fooling anyone, she was still just an empty shell of her former self. But they all went along with it, not wanting to upset her. Esme was concerned that Bella wasn't addressing the problem and that she would never move on, but Carlisle assured her that Bella would be fine. That she would come to them if she needed them. He knew his niece, and he knew she needed time to deal with this tragedy in her own way.

Alice, Emmett and Bella had been cleaning up after making breakfast on Sunday morning when the doorbell rang. They often did this together – waking up too late to eat with their parents, and fixing themselves a nice breakfast including placemats, nicely folded napkins and proper juice glasses. The first time they did this, it was after being chastised by Esme for missing breakfast and always sleeping the day away. The three of them then decided to make themselves the perfect breakfast, to prove that they didn't need her in order to get a decent breakfast. After that, it became something of a tradition for them, and they started sleeping extra late on purpose.

"He's _baaack_," Emmett sang with a smile as he got up to answer the door. Alice smiled widely, as Bella made her way to the pantry to put away the leftover pancake mix. She didn't know they were expecting anyone.

Just as she placed the box on the shelf, she heard the boys' laughter as they entered the kitchen. Jasper was there with Emmett, but then there was someone else's voice she didn't recognize. It clicked in her mind that it must have been Edward. He must have arrived home from his holiday. _That's right,_ she thought to herself, _he always came home after I'd already gone home._

She came out of the pantry and her eyes flitted to the boy she had never met as he and Alice were coming out of a warm hug. A soft smile appeared on Bella's lips as she took in the sight of him and the reunion happening in front of her. He was, by far, the most beautiful boy she had ever seen. His dark bronze hair and piercing green eyes had intrigued her in a way no boy ever could before. His face was kind and welcoming, and had a wholesomeness to it that gave her butterflies. She had seen a hundred pictures of him before and always thought he was handsome, but seeing him in person was a whole different story. It was as though every nerve ending in her body awoke just by being near him. She immediately felt like she had known him forever.

_Do I shake his hand?_ She asked herself. _Do people our age do that? What if he thinks that's lame?_

"Bella, this is Edward," Alice introduced.

"Hi, it's great to finally meet you," Bella said politely, extending her hand and slapping on that smile she had been working on all summer. Only this time it seemed a little less forced.

"Hey, same here," he replied. He kept his eyes on hers as he shook her hand. "I've heard a lot about you." They both felt a twinge of something when their hands touched. A feeling so new and unusual, but so pleasant that you want it to happen again and again.

"Only good things, I hope," she countered, as she felt herself smile a bit wider and feeling herself blush. She enjoyed the feeling, not having felt it for months.

He laughed softly. "Of course!"

His voice was alluring to her, and she felt immediately at east just being in his presence. Meeting new people had never been something she was good at, but this time felt very different.

She suddenly realized that he knew who she was. Although they had never met, he knew why she was still there, in Forks. Why she hadn't gone home after spending the summer there. He knew what had happened to her family. Would he take pity on her and treat her nicely so that he would not upset her? The thought made her nervous, and she was suddenly terrified of all the new people at school who would do just that.

But not once did he mention her parents. Not once did he seem to treat her any differently than he treated anyone else. She noticed that he threw a few extra smiles her way, and chalked it up to pity. But was it her imagination that his cheeks would turn slightly pink when she would throw one back?

Bella asked herself over and over why she was so fascinated with him. She had been so focused on her feelings for her parents, that she hadn't really felt much else lately. Edward had stirred something inside of her. Something extremely unfamiliar that she was entirely sure she'd ever felt before. She immediately felt guilty for letting her thoughts roam away from the memory of her mom and dad. She wasn't supposed to be thinking of other things, it was much too soon for that. It was especially too soon for her to feel any kind of pleasure. The guilt consumed her, and she became upset with herself for letting the sadness slip for even a moment.

Just as her inner debate played in her mind, Emmett said something she didn't catch and Alice, Jasper and Edward erupted in loud laughter. Edward's eyes flitted to hers for a fraction of a second, but she caught it. She looked down and felt her cheeks get hot, because it was obvious that she wasn't paying attention. She bit down on her bottom lip, a nervous twitch she'd always had. Edward's eyes followed the gesture, and his breath caught at the warmth the motion stirred up in his body.

Bella forced herself to focus on what was going on in the room. The conversation turned to what they would do that night, since it was Edward's first night back with everyone, and the Sunday before Labor Day, which loosely translated to their last night of freedom.

"Let's just grab some Chinese and hang out at my place," Jasper offered.

"Sounds good! Rosie and I are going shopping this afternoon for back-to-school outfits. Wanna come, Bells?"

"No, thanks," Bella replied. Alice knew very well of Bella's aversion to shopping. Aside from their matching long wavy hair, the girls had very little in common. And even then, Alice's hair was a few shades darker than Bella's.

"Isabella Swan, you need new clothes for school. Now, come on. This can be a good thing." Her voice softened as she finished her sentence.

Bella knew what Alice was saying. A fresh new pair of jeans and a few new tops could be good for her – a fresh start. Every time she got dressed in the morning, she would remember something about her parents, especially if it was something they picked up together, or if it was something they had given her. Her mom often picked something up for her when she went shopping. But Bella was reluctant to get new things, and she had been dreading this day all summer, knowing how Alice felt about back-to-school shopping: it was her Christmas and birthday rolled into one. She reasoned with herself that she would go, but just wouldn't get rid of any of her existing clothes. Not yet.

"Fine. I'll come. But you can't make me throw anything away. And you can't torture me," Bella warned.

Edward laughed, knowing all too well about Alice's "persuasions".

"So it's not just me, then?" he asked with a smirk.

Alice huffed. "Listen, it's not my fault that you two are completely hopeless. Don't bite _my_ head off just because I'm trying to lend a hand."

Edward and Bella exchanged an amused look, feigning incredulity at Alice's outburst. They were both very familiar with Alice's tirades.

"Wanna catch a movie, Edward?" Emmett changed the subject after his exaggerated eye roll, so as not to get Alice any more worked up.

"Nah, I gotta get my school shopping done, my mother will kill me if I start my senior year unprepared. You know how she feels about new school supplies," he explained, rolling his eyes, although Bella sensed an underlying affection he had for his mother. This made her smile, as she remembered how excited her own mother got when it was time for Bella to buy new school supplies.

"_It's so much more motivating when you have a fresh start with all new supplies!"_ she would gush. Bella was always impartial, but went along with it anyways, getting new notebooks, binders and highlighters to appease her mother. And then they would go for lunch and Renee would make Bella list all of the things she was excited about for the upcoming school year.

That had marked the first memory of either of her parents that didn't result in excruciating pain.

The day went on as everyone planned, before meeting up at Jasper's house that evening. Bella got some new jeans, a few new tops, and a new pair of shoes. _A step in the right direction_, she kept reminding herself. She vowed that on her first day of school she would wear a whole new outfit, to symbolize her moving forward. _I have no choice. I have to move on_.

Edward spent his day school shopping with his mother, but something he thought to be much more pressing occupied the forefront of his mind the entire time. He couldn't deny his instant attraction to Bella. Seeing her in person after all this time had proved to be much different than the pictures he had seen over the years. His feelings for her hit him like a wrecking ball, she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. Everything about her invited him in; from her smile to her voice to the way her soft skin felt when they shook hands. After all these years of thinking there were pretty girls all around him, he had suddenly been proven very wrong. No one had ever held his attention the way Bella did, everyone else paled in comparison. Tonight couldn't come fast enough, because he couldn't wait to feel again whatever it was he felt earlier that day.

* * *

When Rosalie, Alice and Bella arrived at Jasper's house, Emmett and Jasper had a video game well underway. Bella noted that there was no sign of Edward, and decided against asking about him, so as not to draw attention to her obvious attraction.

The girls made their way to the kitchen to gather plates and utensils for everyone, and set it all out on the kitchen table for everyone to grab what they wanted. Alice's phone buzzed.

"Oh, text from Edward. 'Crazy mother. On my way, be there in 10.'" Alice read the text aloud and her and Rosalie shared a little chuckle. "His mother latches on for dear life every time he comes home. It's a wonder we get to see him at all before school starts," she explained.

Bella smiled in response, noting the close relationship between Edward and his mother. She then realized that her first instinct at this revelation hadn't been sadness at the absence of her own mother, but a warmth at the sweet new thing she learned about Edward, the boy she only met that morning. Instant guilt. _You're forgetting about them_, she reprimanded herself. _Don't forget about them._

Ten minutes later, as promised, Edward arrived. Coming in through the back door right off the kitchen, the girls cringed at the sound of the pouring rain as he had opened the door. He came into the kitchen, his hair and clothes soaking wet. Bella's eyes trailed on him as he greeted everyone. His smile widened slightly as his eyes fell on Bella's, and her cheeks warmed. She quickly returned to folding napkins, but kept her gaze on him out of the corner of her eye.

_Only _he_ could look good coming out of the pouring rain, _she smirked to herself.

"Ugh, raining _again_?" Rosalie whined, "We were outside ten minutes ago and there wasn't even a drop."

"I'm not sure why this still bothers you. You've lived here for like, six years," he joked, shaking his hair in her direction. She laughed and smacked his arm with the back of her hand.

"I don't think anyone can really get used to this constant gloom," she said.

"So, how was shopping today?" Edward asked Bella.

"Not nearly as torturous as I was expecting. Apparently Alice goes easy on you if you're a charity case," she tried joking, but was only met with silence by the other three. She looked down, and felt everyone's awkwardness course through her. "Sorry, that was supposed to be a joke, but…"

"Who wants a Coke? I'm going to grab a few from the basement," Alice announced suddenly. And as she glanced in Bella's direction, her eyes conveyed her support. _Thank you, Alice_. Bella was relieved for the shift in conversation. _Apparently I'm not ready to make jokes yet._

"I'll come with you!" Rose followed Alice out of the kitchen.

Edward and Bella were left alone in the kitchen.

"Um, the guys are in the other room," she told him, embarrassment causing her to avoid his eyes.

"Yeah, I figured. Thanks." Although she wasn't looking at him, she could hear the sympathy in his voice, and it hurt her. He made his way into the living room to say hello to the guys. _Don't be this girl, Bella. Don't be this sad, pitiful person that everyone has to be careful around. Stop it._

Not long after, the six friends made their way into the kitchen to make up their plates and head to the living room to eat. For whatever reason, they never sat at the kitchen table when they would go to each others' houses; it was always around the living room coffee table.

The evening turned around better than she would have thought. No one mentioned her awful attempt at a joke, and Edward acted as though it never even happened, much to Bella's relief.

"What are everyone's schedules like this year?" Jasper asked.

"Terrible!" Alice began. "All of my easy classes are in the first semester, which means I will be going nuts next semester. How is that even fair? I think I'm going to talk to the counselors to see if they can switch that around." Bella desperately hoped she wouldn't, because she had a class with Alice that she would much rather not be alone for.

"What do you have?" Jasper asked her.

"English first period, then Social Studies, Spanish and Gym. You?"

"English first period!" he exclaimed excitedly.

And then they were lost in their own conversation about how much they hated the English teacher, and Bella smiled to herself. She had been wondering for at least two years when Alice would see what was right in front of her, and it looked like the time was coming for them.

"Well, I at least get to start the year off right with Auto Mechanics right before lunch," Rosalie said to the rest of us. She loved playing around with cars. She had first taken Auto in the ninth grade, and was hooked ever since.

"That sucks, I don't have it 'til third period. What else you got?" Emmett asked.

After a bit more discussion, it turned out that Rosalie, Emmett and Edward had Physics together last period. When the two car buffs got themselves into a conversation about the cars that were the most fun to fix, Edward noticed that Bella had been quietly eating her dinner, just listening to the chatter around her.

"What's your schedule like, Bella?" he asked her.

"Um, I think I have Physics first period, then English, and then Biology and Gym…with Alice, thank God."

"I have Biology third period too," he smiled.

Bella was ecstatic at this news, and smiled back at him in response. Not only would she get to spend every day in Biology with Edward, but it was at least a subject she was good at, so she wouldn't look like an idiot in front of him. He seemed so intelligent, she didn't want him to think she couldn't keep up.

"Save me a seat?" she asked him.

Edward's smile grew wider. "Definitely." The butterflies he felt in his stomach at the prospect of sitting next to Bella for a whole semester were an entirely new feeling for him. He'd had crushes on a few different girls, but none gave him this particular feeling before.

_She doesn't know anyone, don't get excited. You're her security blanket,_ he told himself. Although this thought was discouraging, he would take any closeness to Bella that he could get.

After dinner was over, Bella began clearing everyone's plates to make room for dessert. She had baked brownies for tonight after getting home from shopping with the girls.

Edward joined her, and they took the plates to the kitchen. Jasper and Alice refreshed everyone's drinks, while Emmett and Rosalie stayed put in the living room and set up a game of monopoly. Games nights were a favorite in this crowd.

As Edward rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, Bella got the brownies and some more napkins. They worked in a comfortable silence, stealing glances here and there.

"Um," Edward began hesitantly. Bella looked up at him suddenly, feeling excited that they were alone, and even more excited that they were talking. Her heart sped up just a bit. He had finished with the dishes and approached her slowly before speaking with his voice low. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about your parents. I didn't mention it before because everyone was around and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. But then I thought about it and realized you might think I'm a jerk for not acknowledging it. So I just wanted you to know that I know, and I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. And we don't have to ever talk about it again if you don't want to."

Bella was surprised at his admission. She had actually felt grateful that he hadn't mentioned her parents earlier, but it still felt nice to hear his heartfelt words in private.

"Thanks," she nodded, a soft smile appearing. "It was actually kind of nice when that wasn't the first thing you'd said to me. Kind of refreshing. That's pretty much been my identity here all summer. School should be a _blast_." The sarcasm was heavy in her last statement.

He nodded in understanding. "I can imagine that would get a little irritating after about two hours. Don't worry, you have us when school starts."

She looked up at him and smiled warmly, grateful for his words. She knew she had friends here, and that they would make her transition to this new school much easier, but hearing it come from Edward's mouth – in Edward's voice – made it somehow more comforting.

"I'm so glad I finally got to meet you," she said simply.

Edward's cheeks flushed as he returned her smile. "Likewise. I was starting to think you were make-believe."

Edward chuckled and Bella smiled as she picked up the plate of brownies to bring into the living room. This whole smiling thing seemed to be so easy around him.

* * *

Bella woke up on the first day of school with a huge knot of dread in her stomach. She was completely in the dark about what to expect. She didn't know the people, and she most certainly didn't want to hear any condolences or get special treatment for being the poor little orphan girl from the big city.

The house was a whirlwind of kitchen noises, the blowing hairdryer, and last-minute frantic searches for lost items – particularly by Emmett. Alice had laid out her first-day-of-school outfit the night before, and was spending a large chunk of her morning primping in the bathroom. Alice's style was very clean-cut. She was a cardigan and sweater-vest type of girl, but somehow made those mundane items look very stylish. Her hair was always neatly blown out, usually worn in neat ponytails, half up, or down with a headband.

Alice was in control of her morning, having every minute planned out perfectly so as not to be rushed. Bella, on the other hand, was having a hard time trying to make herself look like she wasn't trying to make herself look like anything. Her hair wasn't working. She couldn't find a decent outfit that would make her blend in to the point of basically being invisible. Worst of all, she had a hard time sleeping the night before, so the bags under her eyes were the icing on the cake.

Alice had figured that this much would happen, so she allotted herself some time to help Bella get ready for school as well. Classic Alice, being prepared for every possible scenario.

Alice blew out Bella's hair, and chose a simple outfit of jeans, flats and a cute top. "Comfortable and mainstream," Alice told her. "You'll be fine." She knew Bella didn't want to invite any unwanted attention.

Once the girls were ready, they headed downstairs to the kitchen to have Esme's traditional first-day-of-school breakfast: orange juice, milk, eggs, bacon, pancakes and toast. She believed that you needed to start the day off properly, and this was the perfect feel-good food for a day like today. Bella sat heavily at the table next to Emmett, who was already finishing up his plate and likely getting ready for more. He looked up at her and nudged into her side with a mouthful of food. She smiled and nudged back. On cue, Esme approached with more eggs and bacon, and Emmett smiled up at his mother like a little boy, leaning into her slightly so that she could kiss his forehead and smooth back his hair.

"There's more toast in the toaster," she told him sweetly. The way to Emmett's heart was most definitely through his stomach. Esme gave Bella and Alice their plates and headed back to the stove.

"You're such a mama's boy," Bella joked, taking a big bite of eggs.

"What's your point?" he replied with a mouthful of food. She smiled in return and took a bite of her breakfast.

_I'm going to eat my entire breakfast, and I'm going to be fine, _she vowed. She has her family. And even if she wasn't the slightest bit hungry, she forced every last bite into her mouth so that she could brace herself for the day ahead of her.

The drive to school with Alice and Emmett was relatively uneventful. Bella sat in the backseat and tried to focus on Alice's excited chatter to get her mind off of how nervous she felt. Emmett could barely get a word in, but placated Alice whenever he could.

When they pulled into the Forks High parking lot, Bella's stomach tied itself into at least 18 different knots. This was precisely the last thing she wanted to be doing at this moment. Bella was shy in _normal_ social situations. Now that she knew all eyes would be on her today – being the new girl with the tragic past – it just made everything much worse.

Emmett parked the car just as Bella spotted Edward and Rosalie standing not too far away from them. Emmett honked the horn and they both looked over and waved. Bella kept her eyes locked on Edward because, for whatever reason, her nerves calmed down upon seeing him. His presence was reassuring for her, and she almost felt relieved that he would be in this building with her all day, even though they had only one class together. He was here too. And that thought comforted her.

Alice and Emmett would surely make sure she was taken care of, this she knew. But they were also social butterflies, and something told her that Edward was a bit more of an introvert. A bit more like her.

The cousins met up with their friends, and greeted each other good morning. Their excitement about being seniors was obvious, each one of them had a grin plastered on their faces.

"Aw, you _guys_," Rosalie began, "This is the last first day of school we're ever going to have together."

Emmett and Edward mocked her with exaggerated _Aww_s, and Emmett wrapped his big arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him. Bella smiled at the affection that the friends shared. She had never seen them all together before this last weekend, and she felt lucky to be a part of it, under her circumstances. Things could have been much worse for her.

"Oh, stop it. You're going to make me cry," Alice chimed in. Rosalie teased her with some fake sniffling and pretended to wipe a tear from her eye.

"Where's Jasper?" Alice asked as she glanced around, at the same moment that Edward and Bella exchanged a small smile at the banter.

"Not here yet, I don't think. Oh, there he is!" Rosalie pointed to the direction of Jasper's car pulling into the parking lot.

"I needed to show him a mock-up of a poster for the Fall Frolic that Jessica sent me," Alice explained as she backed away, heading toward's Jasper's car.

"What's the Fall Frolic?" Bella asked Edward quietly. Emmett and Rosalie started in on some chatter the second Alice backed away.

"It's a dance, first one of the year," he replied, equally as quietly.

"Do you usually go to that?" Bella was not one for dances, so she inwardly groaned at the mere mention of it.

"Yeah. But only because everyone else is going. We make a night out of it. I wouldn't be caught dead at one of those things if Alice and Jasper weren't on the social committee." Bella smiled at the revelation. "Don't tell Alice I said that," he added with a smirk.

"I won't," she replied as she smiled back up at him. She loved feeling herself smile again, and couldn't seem to help it around Edward. It was almost like he knew exactly the right thing to say to make her feel comfortable.

Bella glanced over at Alice and Jasper, and noticed his glowing smile upon seeing Alice approach. He put his arm around her as they walked back towards the group, looking at the poster together. Bella smirked to herself, taking note of the body language.

Everyone greeted Jasper with enthusiasm. It seemed to Bella that everyone loved the start of a new school year. The excitement filtered through the air around her, but all she could feel was anxiety. She would have to face all of these new people in the worst possible case scenario.

The five-minute bell rang, startling everyone out of their chatter.

"Oh! I'm supposed to go to the office and get a sign-in sheet or something," Bella mentioned.

Edward opened his mouth to volunteer to take her, but was half a second too late.

"I'll walk you there, Bells. It's right by my homeroom," Emmett offered.

"Thanks, Em," she replied, her appreciation evident in her voice. Everyone said their goodbyes, with promises to meet up at lunch at their regular table.

"I'll meet you at the cafeteria doors, Bella. Wait for me," Alice called to her as she walked briskly in the direction of her locker.

"See ya," Edward said casually as he followed Alice. Bella gave him a small wave and a shy smile. She couldn't help but feel a little warm that he had specifically said bye to her and not Emmett. _He's just being nice_, _he can tell I'm nervous, _she told herself.

Bella's morning went just as she had predicted: everyone stared, anyone who dared talk to her only mentioned how sad they were for the loss of her parents, and she was put on the spot in every single class to introduce herself to everyone. Basically, her worst nightmare come true. _No, wait. My worst nightmare already happened, this is just another unwelcome reminder_.

At lunch, Bella made her way to the cafeteria as planned. She couldn't even believe she had even found it on her own. She saw that Alice hadn't arrived yet, so she leaned against the wall beside the double doors that were propped open, and waited. It did not go unnoticed that several people's eyes lingered on her as they passed by.

"That's Renee Swan's daughter," she heard someone whisper. _Yes, everyone, let's make this worse for me_.

Five minutes went by before Bella decided that Alice must have forgotten. She took a deep breath and stepped tentatively through the doors of the cafeteria, scanning the room for her friends, but they were nowhere to be found. Bella had no idea where their usual table was, and she seemed suddenly overwhelmed by the roomful of people who knew exactly where they were going, exactly where they belonged. She tried desperately to ignore the continuing stares that were cast her way, and was surprised to find her heart pounding furiously in her chest. _You'll find them, don't worry, _she told herself.

She was suddenly startled by a hand on her shoulder. Though gentle, it caught her off guard.

"Hey you," his soft voice was close to her ear.

Bella sighed heavily with relief as she said, "Edward."

"Where's Alice? Wasn't she supposed to meet you here?" he asked.

"Yeah. She must have been caught up somewhere, she never showed."

The nervousness was apparent in her voice, and he felt urged to make it right.

"Come with me, Alice can meet us at the table," he told her.

She smiled up at him, feeling relieved that he had shown up to rescue her, and followed him to their table.

Once they arrived, Edward held out a chair for Bella and sat down beside her as they were greeted by Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, who were already eating.

"How was your first morning, Bell?" Jasper asked her.

"Just as I expected. It's like I'm some sort of circus freak that no one can take their eyes off of."

Jasper's eyes were sympathetic. "It's a small town, Bella. In a couple weeks, it will be old news and everyone will just go about their business."

Bella automatically turned to Edward for reassurance. He nodded eagerly, agreeing wholeheartedly with Jasper. At least, he hoped that's what would happen, for Bella's sake. "I hope you're right," she mumbled, and let herself be comforted by Jasper's words.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Alice's voice was frantic and grew closer and closer with each apology. Bella turned to see her cousin, out of breath from running across campus.

"Where were you?" Rosalie asked.

Alice sighed heavily and sat down next to Jasper. "Well. Mrs. Blake kept us until the last possible _second_, and then I ran into Jessica in the hall and she would not quit about my thoughts on that poster." She turned to Bella and said pointedly, "Bella, I am _so_ sorry. I feel horrible, I couldn't get here fast enough. Are you mad?"

Alice looked genuinely pained, and Bella knew she was sorry. Alice had never, and would never, abandon her in a time of need.

"No, I'm not mad. I knew you must have been held up. Don't worry about it, Edward led me in the right direction," Bella replied.

Alice glanced towards Edward and smiled. "Sounds like he was your knight in shining armor," she joked, and Bella and Edward both smiled. _You have no idea_, Bella thought to herself.

"Have people been nice to you, Bella," Emmett asked with a protective edge to his voice. She smiled.

"Yes. I actually met a girl that seemed really cool. Angela, I think. She's in my English class."

"Angela Weber. Yeah, she's super sweet. You'd really like her," Rosalie chimed in.

Nestled in the safety of her friends at their lunch table, the hour went by much too fast for Bella's liking. The bell rang indicating the end of the lunch hour, and the friends all got up to head to their respective third period classes.

"Walk together to Biology?" Edward asked.

"Yes, please," Bella replied, the relief apparent on her face. They said their goodbyes to everyone and headed down the hall.

"So how come you don't like dances?" she asked him as they walked.

"I don't know, they just seem so…boring. Don't get me wrong, Alice and Jasper are great at organizing these things, but I just feel so awkward. I'm sure you could tell that I'm not one for jumping into big social situations."

Truthfully, Bella had been a little surprised at Edward's unusual behavior while in school. He wasn't the easy, carefree boy she saw in the privacy of their circle of friends. At school, he cast shy glances and quiet hellos to people he knew in the hallways, and his body language gave away his withdrawn attitude. He barely spoke unless spoken to, and the jokes came less frequently. It was almost like he was trying not to be noticed, just like her.

Bella chuckled dryly at his revelation. "I'm the same."

Edward returned her dry laugh and said the most perfect thing he could have said to Bella in that very moment. "Well, at least we have each other, right?"

Bella smiled warmly, gazing up at him with eyes that she was sure would give her away. "Right."

They arrived at their classroom, and Edward motioned for her to go ahead of him.

Edward and Bella sat together at a table in Biology class, and were both glad to find out that Mr. Banner would later be assigning those very seats for the whole semester. As they chatted before the beginning of class, a small dark-haired girl approached them.

"Hi, Edward," the girl said shyly.

"Hey, Bree. Have you met Bella yet?" Both girls shook their heads and shook hands.

"Nice to meet you," Bree said politely. Bella thought she could really like this girl. So there _were_ some nice people at this school. She had grown accustomed to the stares and whispers, yet barely anyone had gone out of their way to say anything directly _to_ her.

"Same to you," Bella returned her warm smile.

Bree's attention was turned right back to Edward. "So did you have a good summer?" Bella didn't know this girl, but it seemed to her that she was nervous. It seemed to her that maybe she…liked Edward.

"Yeah, it was great. You?" And Edward seemed completely clueless.

Bella suddenly felt an irrational jealousy take over. For all she knew, Bree and Edward could have known each other for their entire lives. Bree could have had feelings for Edward since Bella was learning how to read. But still, Bella felt a slight sadness at the thought that maybe Edward had someone he liked as well. Maybe Edward liked Bree too.

As the two continued their small talk, Bella tried to keep a straight face. _Oh, get over yourself,_ she told herself. _You have bigger things on your mind anyways. Think about your parents, not boys._

Mr. Banner brought the class to attention, and the hour began. And just like her previous classes, Bella had to stand up and introduce herself.

_What a stupid custom, they all know who I am and why I'm here,_ she thought. Only this time it didn't seem nearly as daunting. She glanced in Edward's direction before standing up and he shot her a supportive smile. This somehow made it much easier for her to get up and say her usual "My name is Bella and I just moved here from Chicago."

Suddenly the eleven little words that had caused her mountains of anxiety this morning, barely fazed her at all. She was learning that she was right about feeling calmer at the sight of Edward. It was like the closer he was to her, the better she felt about herself.

That evening as she was getting ready for bed, she thought about how deep her feelings seemed to run for Edward, even having only known him for a few days. He made her feel hopeful. He made her feel warm and…cared for. As strange as that seemed, she couldn't deny his innate gentleness that she was sure everyone around him felt. Bree definitely did. There was something about him that was intensely reassuring to her. He radiated kindness through his every pore, and she couldn't believe how drawn to him she felt. It was almost as though he was a puzzle piece that had been missing from her life, the way they got along so well. Even when the six of them were all together, she couldn't help but feel that they gravitated towards each other just a bit.

It couldn't all be in her head…could it?


	5. October

**I'm going to post October now, just because I don't want to wait anymore, but I'm not sure when November will be up...I haven't finished it yet. Please review, I love to hear what you have to say!**

* * *

**OCTOBER**

September had continued much like it started. The school days came and went, and as Jasper had predicted, the unwanted attention on Bella had subsided, if only just a little bit. Every Friday night was spent at someone's house, watching movies, playing cards or board games, or simply talking. On the odd occasion they would go to the diner to eat, or go to the beach if the weather was nice enough.

On the first day of the month, Bella announced at dinner that she wanted to buy a new car, to symbolize her independence – something new that had never been a part of her previous life. Because that's how she saw things now: she had an old life and a new life.

Esme and Carlisle drilled her endlessly on how she planned on paying for it, and reminded her that she could use their car whenever she wanted. She argued that she felt this was an important step to move on, and that she would use some of the money her parents left for her. Esme's worry was that Bella was reacting poorly to the death of her parents; that she was become reckless and would spend all of her money and have nothing left for her future. Bella reassured them that she had already put away enough for college, and that she wasn't going to go on a stupid spending spree. The reality was that Bella only told them because she needed Carlisle's permission to access the money since she was not yet eighteen. They reluctantly agreed since she never had a history of irresponsible behavior. Bella was satisfied, and the hunt began.

She took her time on the used car lot, browsing the selection of cars that she could afford, with Carlisle and Emmett's company. Her eyes fell on a faded red Chevy pick-up that had to have been at least 50 years old. That was the one she wanted.

Carlisle didn't approve of her choice, since it looked like it would fall apart at the first sign of a strong enough breeze. Emmett stood by and had a chuckle, since he found the selection to be so classically Bella. She had made up her mind though, and approached the first person she saw on the lot to make her inquiry.

"Excuse me, how much is that red truck?"

"_That_ truck?" He glanced at the red truck in question, and looked back at her in surprise. He was very tall and quite attractive when she saw him up close. He had dark eyes, dark hair, and a tanned complexion, which was strange for Forks. "Um, I just fixed it up, actually. It's going for seven hundred."

"I'll take it," Bella told him with conviction.

He looked at her with doubt. "You want that truck?"

"Yes, please."

He looked skeptical, but took her into the office to sign the necessary paperwork anyways. He was very friendly, and Bella was oblivious to the fact that it was due to his peaked interest in her. She was never truly aware of how pretty she was.

"I'll just have to call Billy in here to finish up your sale. I'm just the mechanic, so I can't help you any further."

Bella, Carlisle and Emmett waited patiently for Billy to arrive, while Carlisle questioned the mechanic about the work he did on the truck. He counted on Emmett to validate that all the car-speak was legitimate.

"Why is it only selling for seven hundred if you've done so much work on it?" her uncle inquired.

"Well, to be honest I was just working on it as a side project, for fun. But since my dad – Billy, he's my dad – thought that it was in great working order, he figured we might as well see if we could make a little money off of it."

This boy seemed very confident in his work and the safety of the truck, which seemed to appease Carlisle. Emmett took a liking to him, and the two delved into an in-depth conversation about cars.

Billy, Bella and Carlisle completed the sale, with the mechanic boy leaning over the counter beside them, still chatting with Emmett.

"You're Bella Swan?" Billy's son asked as he skimmed over her completed form. It was clear that he was purposely looking for her name.

"Um, yes. I am," she replied warily.

"Gee, I'm really sorry about your parents. All anyone can talk about is Renee Swan around here."

Bella may as well have been hit by a bus, because that's what it felt like to hear her mother's name. She realized that neither Charlie nor Renee's names had been spoken all summer. How had that been avoided? People tended to refer to them as her "mom" or "dad", or just her collective "parents".

She noticed Emmett stiffening at her side, and Carlisle cast his gaze to the ground.

_Perfect_, she thought to herself. _A fresh batch of grief to deal with_.

"Um, thanks," her voice trailed off and she tried to look appreciative, but she felt anything but. She couldn't avoid the wave of nausea that hit her.

"Jacob," he finished, although she wasn't looking for his name.

Her eyes met his as she realized he thought she had been inadvertently asking for his name. "Jacob. Nice to meet you."

He attempted some more small talk, but Bella gave pointed answers as best as she could so that she could leave. _Why did he have to go and say her name?_

She thought that leaving the car lot with a new car would make her feel good. More independent. Moving forward. On the road to recovery. That was the plan. The ride home in her new truck was silent, even though Emmett had decided to ride with her in case she wanted to talk about what had just happened. But when Bella got home, she went directly to her room and closed the door. She let the tears fall freely, and after thirty solid minutes of crying, she went to look at herself in the mirror.

"Enough of this," she told herself. "No more crying. Not like this. It's not healthy. And you look like crap. People are going to say her name. And his, for that matter. Get over it. Do something productive. No one wants to see you moping around like a crazy person every day. Just…do _something_."

She stared at herself in the mirror for another half-minute, and with that, she resolved to get closure. She immediately made her way to the hamper in the washroom and gathered up the clothes that were inside.

"What are you doing?" Emmett asked as she stuffed the washing machine. Alice was beside him, peeking through the door to the laundry room.

"Laundry. Why?" she didn't bother looking up.

"Well, I mean, it's 9pm on a Tuesday night."

"And?" she finally stopped what she was doing and looked up at them. Her gaze wasn't empty like it had been in the last few months. She wasn't Bella again, but there was still something there. Alice and Emmett both noticed it and felt something close to relief.

Alice knew that look. She nudged Emmett and glanced up at him, conveying to him to leave her alone. Alice knew Bella's routine. When something was bothering her, she cleaned. It was how she sorted things out. Emmett's eyes gave away his realization.

"Okay. That's cool," Alice jumped in casually. She and Emmett looked on for a few more seconds as Bella looked back at them, and the three of them just stood there, staring at one another.

"Um, don't forget that that shirt needs to be hung to dry," Alice threw in, pointing at one of her tops that she had recognized in the pile. She then left and Emmett followed, still slightly confused but willing to go along with it.

With everyone long gone to bed for the night, Bella was folding her third load of laundry. Now everyone had a fresh pile of clean clothes, as well as clean bath towels. Alice groggily crept downstairs in her pajamas, her hair piled in a loose bun on top of her head.

"Bella," she yawned. Bella glanced up quickly, but continued folding, though Alice knew she was listening. "You should go to bed. It's great that you're doing …this, but you need to go to bed. We have to be at school in six hours."

Bella had just finished folding the last towel and placed it neatly on the pile of other towels. She nodded at her work, pleased with herself. She shut off the lamp and followed Alice upstairs. There would be more to clean tomorrow.

In the coming weeks, Bella was on a mission. She drowned herself in housework; everything from laundry to cleaning toilets. She did the dishes every night after dinner, and straightened her room every day. When that wasn't enough, she went to Alice and Emmett's rooms too. She moved the furniture and cleaned under it. She even took everything out of the fridge, cleaned the shelves, and put everything back neatly. Next was the pantry, same routine. It helped her clear her mind. It helped her see that life goes on. It helped her see that she could be useful again. And the cycle continued for three weeks.

Esme didn't feel right about having Bella do all that work, but Alice kept reassuring her that this was Bella's therapy. At that word, Esme pushed her concern aside and let Bella go on as she pleased, watching hopefully from the sidelines that Bella would find peace again.

* * *

Roughly two weeks into her cleaning bender, Bella and Alice were sitting at the kitchen table doing homework, though Bella wasn't really concentrating. Lately, her mind had been preoccupied with the fact that she hadn't laughed since before her parents passed away. Not once. She wondered why it was that everyone around her could laugh so freely, but she could never find enough humor in things. Worst of all, she knew that everyone noticed her lack of laughter when they would all react to something particularly funny.

The question was, what else could help her move forward? She felt like she was standing still again. Plus, she needed a way to pay for her new truck, which sat idly in the driveway since her cleaning left her little time to do anything else.

"I want to get a job," Bella blurted out.

"Um, okay."

"I think I need one. It would be…good for me."

"Okay…"

"I was thinking maybe the bookstore. Or the diner. Although I couldn't be a server, you know, because I would probably have to replace dishes weekly. The library, maybe?"

Alice suddenly had a revelation. "Oh! Come work at the grocery store!"

Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Edward all worked at the grocery store. It started out with Jasper and Edward, and the rest followed suit so they could see one another that much more.

"Really?" Bella asked, perking up at the possibility.

"Yes, it's perfect! We've been needing a new cashier for a month now. They've had Rosie and me on double duty with the Customer Service counter. Oh, you definitely should, it would be so much fun!" Alice was officially gushing.

"Okay, when should I apply?" The thought of seeing Edward even more often than she did already was definitely appealing to Bella, and she hoped the smile on her face wouldn't give her away.

"Let's go right now! Rosie and Edward are working tonight, actually. They would love the visit!"

"Um, okay." Alice was already up and grabbing her things to head out, so Bella followed, not wanting to argue about potentially seeing Edward tonight.

Once they arrived at the grocery store, Bella suddenly felt butterflies as she glanced around. This had been happening a lot recently when she was anticipating seeing Edward, and only seemed to be getting worse over time.

Rosalie was the first one they saw, since the Customer Service counter was right at the entrance. She beamed at the sight of the two girls.

"Hey! What are you guys doing here?"

"We're getting Bella the cashier job. How perfect is that?" Alice enthused. She leaned over the counter, reaching underneath, and pulled out a piece of paper. She smacked it down on the counter in front of Bella, who noticed that it was a job application form. Before she had the chance to look around for a pen, Alice was holding one out for her. She looked up at Rosalie, who was smiling back at her and mock-rolled her eyes at Alice's assertiveness.

"Yeah, yeah. Alice is nuts, we're over it. Just fill out the form." Alice said, waving her hand around as if to dismiss their exchanged look.

Bella got to work filling out her form, which took her about fifteen minutes, as Alice and Rosalie chatted.

"All done," Bella announced and put her pen down.

"Oh, you know what? Sam's probably in the back, you should take this right to him," Rosalie offered.

"Who's Sam?" Bella asked.

"Our manager. That's perfect, let's go find him," Alice agreed and grabbed Bella's arm.

The two walked through the freezer aisle to get to the staff room, and that's when Bella spotted Edward, stocking one of the freezers. Her heart sped up again and she swallowed it back into her chest.

"Edward!" Alice called.

Edward looked up and his eyes darted directly to Bella's. The surprise in his eyes was evident, but he plastered on a wide grin as the two girls approached. Bella smiled in return – not necessarily _at_ Edward, but this seemed to be her reaction to simply seeing his face.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked. Alice relayed the story in excitement.

"Alice, relax. I don't have the job yet," Bella told her.

"You will in ten minutes, trust me."

Edward laughed, while Bella smiled shyly at her feet. He wondered if his excitement at her working at the grocery store was apparent on his face. If Alice caught on to the massive crush he had on Bella, he would be ruined.

Alice grabbed Bella's hand and began dragging her towards the staff room. "Wish us luck, Edward!"

"Good luck," he chuckled as he watched them disappear through the back doors.

Alice had been right. Sam barely hesitated in offering Bella the job, mainly because he was desperate for a cashier, and because no one from their group had ever given him any trouble before. Trusting Alice's judgement was a no-brainer.

About ten minutes after they disappeared into the staff room, Edward saw them reappear into the frozen food aisle, where he had moved on from restocking the ice cream and was working on the frozen pizzas.

Seeing Alice's wide smile gave him the answer he was looking for. "You got the job!" he exclaimed as they approached him. Bella nodded, looking up at him with a smile on her face. "That's awesome, when do you start?" he asked her.

"Next Wednesday. He said Wednesdays are slow, so it would be the perfect night to start," she replied.

"_And_ I'm going to be training her, which is double awesome," Alice chimed in.

"Triple awesome, because I'm working next Wednesday too," Edward informed them, resulting in a squeal from Alice.

They chatted for a few more seconds before Edward told them he needed to get back to work. On their way out, the girls told Rosalie the good news, and then headed home to finish their homework.

In the car, Bella couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as she drove her new truck back home from landing her new job. _See, I'm moving on_, she told herself. _Two new things, and it's barely the middle of October_.

"What are you smiling about?" Alice asked, though she was smiling too.

"Nothing. I just…this is a good thing."

Alice reached over and squeezed Bella's hand and they drove the rest of the way in a content silence.

* * *

Bella's first day was slow, as promised, and by the end of her shift, she had already rung through two customers without any help from Alice.

Throughout the evening, Alice had shown her around the store and explained the job thoroughly. She introduced Bella to everyone who was working that night, and though she didn't have many chances to talk to Edward, she definitely stole as many glances as she possible could.

A few times, she would look towards him only to find that he had been looking at her too, and her cheeks warmed and her tummy fluttered each time.

_So these are the feelings that mom's been talking about all this time_, she told herself. Renee had always been asking Bella if any of the boys in school caught her attention. Although Bella did think a few guys in her class were cute, she had never experienced anything like _this_ before. She had always wondered if there was something wrong with her, why no boy had ever captivated her the way her mother had told her one would. And now she knew: it was because she hadn't met the right one yet.

Her thoughts quickly plummeted into ones of sadness. _The feelings that mom _used_ to talk about all the time_, she corrected. Bella wouldn't have the chance to talk to her mother about this boy that she was crazy about, and the thought crushed her.

Edward had seen the change in Bella expression. He watched as her face fell and his did the same. Bella was in a bad place in her life, and he couldn't bring himself to talk to her about it. As much as he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, he also didn't know any way he could help. And all he wanted to do was help.

Edward felt very protective of Bella, for some reason. He cared so deeply about her, though he didn't exactly realize it. The sound of her voice made him smile, and he wished she could be happy, as she deserved to be. His instinct to shield her from the stares and whispers cast her way at school was overwhelming at times. He almost lashed out at Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory in the middle of the hall for talking about her.

It didn't go unnoticed that Bella had never laughed since he'd known her. It made him feel sad for her. But most of all, he knew Bella didn't want his pity, so he tried to be there for her the best way he could: by being her friend.

So when he saw Bella go on her break, he followed her into the staff room, bought two Cokes from the vending machine, grabbed the brownie out of his bag that his mom had packed for him, and sat down beside her.

She looked up at him with a smile as he handed her the Coke, and then split the brownie in half, handing her the bigger piece.

"Thanks, Edward. Your mom is probably the best baker in town," she said appreciatively as she took a bite.

"_And_ it's a corner piece. I know you love the corner pieces."

Bella had looked up at him suddenly. How had he known she always took the corner pieces? Her expression must have given away her unspoken question, because Edward's blushed furiously and cast his eyes downward as he answered.

"I, um, saw you take the corner pieces when you had a couple brownies at Jasper's that time before school started."

She smiled at him then, and when he finally looked back up at her, he saw just how wide her grin was. Bella wanted to grab him and give him a big hug, though she restrained herself, thinking it would be too forward. He smiled in return, his whole body warming at the sight of her. _This is as close to laughing as I've ever seen her_, he thought to himself, and that fact made him happy.

"Thank you, Edward," she said sincerely. _For the brownie, for the Coke, for paying attention, for being my friend, for caring, for coming into my life, for not asking me to talk about them, for letting me be who I am right now, even though it's not the person I used to be…_

She wanted to thank him for all those things, but instead she left it short and sweet.

"You're welcome," he smiled, looking into her eyes.

As if on cue, Alice walked into the staff room, breaking the moment.

"How's the first shift going, Bella?" she asked before taking a drink from her water bottle.

"Good! Thanks for getting me the job, Alice. It's really cool that we all get to work together."

"I know, right? I swear we're all going to need to be surgically removed from each other when it's time for college. We're as close to Siamese as you can get," Alice joked.

The three chatted lightly for a short while longer until it was time for them to get back to work.

Bella's mood was brighter as she finished the rest of her first shift, and she decided that her mother would be happy that she let her thoughts linger on Edward a little more than usual.

* * *

"Wow, did you guys _see_ Tanya tonight? She has been draping herself all over Jasper all night, it's disgusting. And what on earth is she wearing? Talk about leaving nothing to the imagination," Alice sneered.

It was the night of the Fall Frolic, and Alice had stopped for a few minutes to chat with her friends, on a break from her dance committee duties.

Bella and Rosalie exchanged confused glances, as they had never heard Alice talk about anyone so maliciously before. Emmett turned quickly to see what Alice was talking about, as he hadn't even noticed that Jasper and Tanya were talking to one another in the first place.

"I'll tell you one thing, that girl is a man eater," Alice went on. "There's no way Jasper would fall for her crap."

"Whoa, girl. Since when do you care so much who talks to Jasper?" Rosalie asked suspiciously. Bella smiled to herself upon hearing Rosalie's suggestive question, given that she suspected Alice had feelings for Jasper for a long time.

Alice was immediately on the defensive. "What? I _don't_ care. I would just think that he would have better taste than that, that's all. Whatever, I've gotta go." And off she went to straighten out the decorations at the refreshment table, where Bella's eyes followed and noticed Edward standing there and talking to a shy-looking Bree.

Jealousy flared inside her, and she hated the feeling. _He doesn't belong to you, Bella. He's your friend_. Still, she took note of their body language. Each was holding a drink, and while Edward had his other hand in his pocket, Bree was nervously twirling a strand of her long dark hair with the other. Again, Bella could see Bree's interest in him. She was practically shaking, she looked so nervous to be talking to him.

Emmett noticed the object of Bella's attention once he asked her a question and she didn't answer.

"Looks like Bree's making the most of her evening," he noted.

Bella finally snapped out of it, but took the opportunity to ask more about it. "She really likes him, doesn't she?"

"Oh _yeah_," Rosalie jumped in. "She's had a crush on Edward since the 9th grade, if not before. She's just so shy. I swear, this is the biggest move she's ever made. She'll talk to him, but that's about it."

Bella was saddened by the news, though she wasn't sure why. Bree had known Edward way longer than she had. Bella had no claim on him. If anything, Bree should be the one feeling as though she had a claim on him.

"Does he know?"

"Who _doesn't_ know?" Emmett asked sarcastically.

"Does he like her too?" Bella had to know, even though the answer could very well hurt her. Although she couldn't understand why; if he did like her back, surely they would be together by now.

"Nope. He says he just doesn't feel a spark with her. I mean, they're obviously friends, but I guess he just can't picture himself with her. It's too bad too, because he doesn't really date."

"He doesn't?" Bella's interest was officially piqued. "How come?"

Emmett and Rosalie both shrugged. "He doesn't like to date for the sake of dating. He just hasn't met the right girl, I guess," she replied. Emmett nodded in agreement.

Bella turned her gaze back to Edward and Bree, a slight smile playing at her lips. She knows exactly what it's like to skip out on dating because you haven't met the right person.

"I bet a lot of girls like him though. Right?" _Smooth, Bella. This won't give you away at all_. She glanced up towards Emmett, feeling his eyes on her, and she was right. He was smirking at her, knowing full well why she was so interested in Edward's dating life.

"Not really. I mean, a couple of girls have been into him, but he's too shy. He's so different at school than he is with us. No one really knows the real Edward, they haven't had a chance to fall for him, you know what I mean?"

Bella nodded at her explanation. Yes, she knew exactly what she meant. Her eyes flitted back to Edward, and she noticed that he was saying goodbye to Bree and heading back towards their group.

Emmett's sudden laughter caught her attention. "Check that out!" he laughed and pointed back to where Jasper and Tanya were last spotted.

Alice was cutting in on Tanya's obvious flirting, winding her arm through Jasper's and leaning in close to tell him something over the loud music. Jasper smiled down at her, and the two walked away.

"_Nice_," Emmett commented.

Rosalie was laughing as Alice turned back to give one more pointed glare at Tanya, who was fuming. "Too bad for you, Tanya," she said under her breath and shook her head at Alice's possessiveness.

"What's everyone laughing about?" Edward asked as he returned to the group, although he was well aware that Bella had _not_ been laughing along with the rest. Bella motioned towards Alice and Jasper, who were now talking to one of the teacher chaperones at the gym entrance.

"Alice just about lost her mind when Tanya started talking to Jasper," Bella filled him in. Edward shook his head and laughed.

"I swear, one day those two are going to _actually_ get married," he said. Bella was shocked, she didn't know anyone else felt that way.

"Oh my god, I know, right?"

"You should see Jasper any time Alice goes on a date. I swear, his ears turn red."

"No!" Bella was pleasantly surprised at this admission. She had never been around to see Jasper get jealous, but it made perfect sense to her.

Just as Edward was illustrating just how red Jasper's ears can turn, Emmett leaned into the two of them and said, "Rosie and I are gonna go dance," and off they went.

Edward and Bella stood awkwardly for a few moments, neither one of them knowing what to do in this situation.

"Do you want to, um, I don't know…" Edward started, but was interrupted suddenly.

"Wanna dance with me, Bella?" a voice asked. "Sorry to interrupt, man," he said as an afterthought to Edward, while keeping his eyes on Bella.

"Um," Bella looked to Edward for some sort of confirmation that he didn't want her to go off and dance with Riley Biers, the boy who often talked to her in her first period Physics class. Edward's gaze was quickly diverted to the floor, and he simply shrugged a response. Not wanting to be rude, Bella replied, "Sure." Riley was thrilled, and grabbed her hand.

Bella was upset with Edward's indifference, though she tried to talk herself out of it as she walked with Riley onto the dance floor, looking back over her shoulder to Edward. _What was he supposed to do? Tell you that he likes you right in front of Riley? Grow up, Bella_.

Edward felt defeated as Riley interrupted his moment alone with Bella. He was going to ask her to dance, or at least to sit with him somewhere if she didn't want to. He felt hurt that Bella would accept a dance with another guy, even though he tried telling himself that she was just being polite.

Edward took a seat on a bench against the wall of the gym. He tried his hardest not to get caught looking at what they were doing, but he couldn't seem to stop glancing their way to see if Riley had been able to make Bella laugh. Though a part of him hated himself for it, Edward was relieved to see that he hadn't succeeded.


	6. November

_**This is a pretty big chapter for Bella and Edward : )**_

* * *

**NOVEMBER**

In the days following the dance, Riley had been paying extra attention to Bella in school. He would now approach her in the hallways and in line in the cafeteria. He would talk to her every morning in Physics. Bella wasn't terribly happy about it, but wasn't sure what to say to him. She didn't want to assume that he had a thing for her, but at the same time, he was getting on her nerves and there wasn't any other explanation. Riley was _not_ the boy that Bella hoped would pay more attention to her. Unfortunately, _that_ boy had been keeping his distance.

Their last shift at the grocery store proved her right: she and Edward had clearly taken a step backwards. They didn't take their break together, as they usually did, and there was no eye contact when he walked by her cash register. She wanted to ask him if he was upset with her, but they never seemed to be alone, and it was almost as though Edward was making sure of it.

The thought of Edward being upset with her was aggravating, to say the least. She couldn't be sure that it was due to the fact that she left him alone to dance with Riley at the Fall Frolic, though that certainly seemed to be the case.

So when she arrived at the cafeteria early one day and saw Edward already standing in line alone, she seized the opportunity. Turning in the opposite direction when she noticed that Riley had spotted her, she made a bee line for Edward and snuck up behind him so that he wouldn't have a chance to escape.

"Hey," she said, placing a hand on his arm. The touch shot a jolt through her entire body, one she hadn't felt since the first time they shook hands. It was then that she realized that they never touch, always keeping a safe distance from one another. That needed to change, because Bella was very quickly realizing how badly she needed him.

Edward's surprise was evident when he turned to see Bella. He couldn't escape the warmth that lingered on his arm in the spot where she had touched him, and he hated himself for wanting to put distance between them. Though he wanted nothing more than to spend every waking minute with her – each day the feeling getting stronger – he wouldn't stand in the way if there was another guy who caught her attention. He couldn't deny Bella her happiness, and he vowed to himself that he wouldn't.

"Hey," he answered, his eyes softening.

Bella wavered for a minute, not entirely sure what she was going to say. She wasn't a confrontational person, and wasn't exactly sure how to do this properly. Edward looked at her expectantly, and they inched forward a bit in line as she tried to compose her thoughts.

"Are you mad at me?" she blurted out.

Edward's gaze became concerned. "No, why would I be mad at you?"

Bella shrugged and glanced down at their sneakers. "I just kind of feel like, I don't know…like you're avoiding me or something. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Bella, of course not. I just…I don't know, I thought…" Edward's discomfort was too much to hide.

"What can I get for you?" the server asked behind the counter.

Edward was caught off guard and hastily asked for two slices of pizza and a root beer.

He got his food and turned to Bella, only to find her eyes burning into his expectantly. "You thought what?" she asked.

_You like Riley_, he finished as a thought instead of out loud. He stared back into her big brown expecting eyes, but couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"Bella! Edward!"

They heard Alice calling their names and turned towards her voice. She was waving them over from their usual table.

"I didn't get any food," Bella said in realization as she glanced down to her empty hands, where her tray should be.

"Take mine, I'll get more. Go sit," Edward told her, and then he handed Bella his tray before turning to get back in line. She stood there for a short moment, looking after him, irritated at their unfinished conversation. So Bella decided to wait for him, because she couldn't let him brush her off any longer.

"Hey, Edward," a voice called him from behind. When he turned, he saw that it was Riley.

"Oh. Hey," Edward replied shyly.

"So what's with you and Bella Swan? You guys are always hanging around together."

"Um, yeah. Well we have the same friends, so…" Edward's voice trailed off and he cleared his throat.

"But you guys seem close. Are you, like, into her or something? Do you guys have a thing going on?" Riley pressed. This was literally the worst conversation Edward could be having at that moment. Yes, he was into her, and no, they didn't have a _thing _going on. But there was no way Edward would admit that first part to anyone. Not now, with all that Bella was dealing with.

"Um, I mean, we're friends, so…"

"Cool. I'm gonna ask her out. Do you think she'll say yes? She's into me, I think. I'm definitely gonna ask her," Riley rambled on and Edward kept his eyes ahead of him.

If Bella said yes to Riley, he would be crushed.

Edward paid for his food and luckily, Riley had gone back to talking to his friends, about something that had nothing to do with Bella.

"I waited for you," she smiled up at him kindly when he was finished at the register.

His eyes warmed as he gazed back at her, and for a second he felt hopeful that maybe she _did _prefer him to Riley after all.

"Thanks," he smiled back.

He noticed that she hadn't looked in Riley's direction as they walked towards their table.

As the friends ate, they discussed their upcoming weekend plans. Tonight – their usual Friday night gathering – they would spend it at Edward's house. They parted ways after lunch with promises to meet up in the parking lot after school.

"So what did you think?" Bella asked Edward as they walked to Biology, as they did every day.

"About what?"

"Well, I had asked you why you were mad at me, and you were saying you thought something, but you didn't get to finish. So what did you think?"

Edward laughed nervously, surprised that she had remembered their conversation so vividly. He remembered exactly what he was going to say, because he was so relieved to have been interrupted.

"I don't know. I thought that maybe you…might…like Riley?" His statement came out as a question. As much as Edward was dying to know the truth, he really didn't.

"_What_"? Bella asked incredulously as she looked up at him.

He just shrugged. "I just saw that you guys have been talking a lot lately and I didn't want to get in the way or anything. If you did like him." He looked at her then.

They stopped walking and turned to face one another.

"No, I don't _like_ him. At least, not like that," she said quietly, looking down. _But I do really, _really_ like you. And I really, really, _really_ wish you liked me too._ "So please don't stay away from me." She peeked back up at him.

Edward thought that his relief at her admission must have been evident on his face, because he was elated. Not only did she confirm that she didn't like Riley, but she asked him not to stay away from her. _As if I ever could_, he thought. So if that's what she wanted, that's what she would get. And he would do it happily.

"I won't. Never again," he said, smiling.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

This made Bella happy in return, and she grinned in return. Edward was quickly becoming her best friend. And even if he never did return her feelings, she could never stand the thought of something coming between them. He meant so much to her, and she would hang on for dear life.

Biology class was spent on reviewing for Monday's test, which was a nice way to spend a Friday afternoon class. Though, a test on a Monday was a cruel thing to do.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Edward whispered to Bella.

Her heart raced. Why was he asking what she'd be doing on a Saturday? She quickly thought about any potential plans, vowing to break them if Edward wanted to see her. Luckily, her day was wide open.

"Nothing. Why?"

"Do you want to study for the test together? You can come to my place if you want, it's quieter."

Bella smiled. "Yeah, definitely."

The truth was that the test was Edward's perfect way to get to spend time alone with Bella. None of their friends were in their class, so they would be able to spend time together without having everyone ask questions. Plus, it wasn't officially a _date_, which would surely have turned Edward into a nervous, sweaty mess.

They spent the rest of the class paying attention to Mr. Banner's review, both with smiles etched onto their faces in anticipation of their study date.

The six friends met up by their cars after school that day, solidifying their plans to meet at Edward's around six o'clock. Bella was the last to arrive, and jogged over to her friends just before Rosalie and Edward were about to leave. Since they lived so close together, they carpooled every day.

"Where have you been?" Alice asked her. Though they had the same last-period Gym class, they had separated to go to their lockers, so Bella's whereabouts had been a mystery.

"Um, at my locker. I was…held up," she said quietly.

Everyone waited for her to continue, but she didn't.

"By what?" Alice pressed.

Bella glanced at Edward before answering, shuffling her feet as she did. "Riley Biers, um, asked me out on a date."

Emmett and Jasper laughed heartily, Rosalie and Alice's eyes grew wide, and Edward looked to the ground in disappointment. Just because Bella didn't like him, it didn't mean she wouldn't go out with him, just to see if she might eventually.

"What did you say?" Rosalie asked, grabbing Bella's wrist.

"I said no?" Bella's answer had come out like a question.

"Poor Riley," Emmett said, shaking his head.

"Why'd you say no? He's cute," Alice mentioned, shrugging a shoulder. Jasper's laughter cut off abruptly at that, and he cleared his throat, looking away.

"He's alright, I guess. Not my type. So, Edward's tonight?" Bella replied, changing the subject.

They discussed that Jasper would meet the Cullens at their house around 5:30 and they would all go together, and Rosalie would meet them there.

Once at home, Bella and Alice made a snack for themselves and Emmett, and then Bella did some light homework while Emmett watched TV and Alice went up to her room. Around five o'clock, Bella had begun to grow tired of school work and wandered around to find Alice. She found her in her room, touching up her makeup in front of the mirror.

"Alice," Bella addressed her with a suspicious tone as she went to sit on Alice's bed, but Alice didn't turn around.

"Yes?" Alice was applying eyeliner.

"Did you change your clothes?"

"Yes." She had then moved on to mascara.

"Did you do your hair?" Alice's hair was now down and flowing, whereas she had worn it in a ponytail at school.

"Yes." Alice's tone grew more brusque as Bella's questions continued, as she knew that Bella had caught on. She focused on her mascara, trying to avoid Bella's stare.

"Is it because you're trying to look nice for someone?"

"Yes." She put down her mascara, but still avoided Bella's eyes.

"Is it Jasper?"

"Yes!" Alice exclaimed dramatically, as her hands flew up to cover her face.

Bella ran to shut Alice's bedroom door so that Emmett wouldn't hear and flew back onto Alice's bed. "I knew it!" she whispered loudly. "Alice Cullen, how long have you had feelings for him?"

"Well I don't know. I think I always have. I mean, he's always been my best friend and I always kind of felt like he was mine, but then at that stupid dance when stupid Tanya was all over him, I just lost it."

Bella only smiled back at her cousin. Then she shook her head slowly. "I knew it. I totally knew it."

"Please don't say anything, Bella," she pleaded.

"I promise. Obviously I won't say anything if you don't want me to."

The girls stared at one another, soaking in the new revelation. Bella's mouth curled up into a smile and she whispered, "I knew it."

"Oh, stop it. And _I_ knew you and Edward would fall in love, but you don't see me rubbing it in your face."

"What? Alice!" Bella said loudly.

"Come on, Bella. You can't tell me you're not totally into him. You guys were basically made for each other. Do you know how patient I've been all these years, waiting for you guys to meet?

Bella's jaw hung low as she sat frozen on Alice's bed, as Alice continued primping.

She finally found some resemblance of words. "I don't…what are you…what?"

Alice stopped what she was doing and turned to Bella, "I won't tell anyone," she said seriously.

Bella gaped at her, unable to say anything. Alice smiled and returned to her makeup.

"I'm going to his house tomorrow to study," Bella finally said, barely more than a whisper.

"That's great! You guys need to spend some time alone. He's too shy to make a move around everyone."

"Why are you talking like he likes me? This can end up being a disaster."

"He does."

"He does _what_?"

"_Like_ you."

"No, he doesn't."

"Yes, he does."

"Did he tell you that?" Bella was incredulous as this idea – that he and Alice would have been talking about her. She wouldn't believe it.

"He doesn't have to. I know these things."

_She was seven years old, and their neighbor – a boy from Bella's class – had told her that she had a weird face. Bella had run inside crying, and her mother explained to her that it was probably because the little boy liked her._

"_That's such a mean thing to say. Why would he say that to me if he liked me?" Bella cried._

"_Because that's what boys do. He probably meant to tell you that you have a beautiful face," Bella's mom stroked her hair gently as she tried to soothe her sad daughter._

"_How do you know that?"_

"_Because, sweetie. I know these things."_

The memory hit her like a brick. She remembered that day so vividly, though she hadn't thought about it in years. She remembered where they were sitting when her mom was consoling her, what kind of a day it was. They baked cookies together afterwards to make Bella feel better.

Bella then realized how similar Alice was to her mother. They both loved love, lived for their family and friends, and were very intuitive when it came to other people's feelings. They were trustworthy and loyal, and now that Bella was thinking about it, she remembers how the two always gravitated to one another at family gatherings. Alice was Renee's kindred spirit, and the two had a special bond.

Bella smiled to herself, basking in this new discovery. She had a big piece of her mother in Alice.

"What are you smiling about?" Alice interrupted her thoughts.

Bella looked up at her cousin. "You're a lot like my mom."

Alice smiled in return. They had barely ever talked about Charlie and Renee, as everyone was always letting Bella be the one to bring them up. "I know, mom's always telling me that."

Bella left Alice to finish preening, and went to the kitchen to whip up a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to take to Edward's house. All of a sudden, she'd had a craving for them.

"Want some help?" Esme asked, peeking through the doorway to the kitchen.

"Sure."

The two worked together in a comfortable silence, until Bella was the one to break it.

"Tell me your favourite thing about my parents."

Esme was caught by surprise, but welcomed the topic of conversation. As they chatted, Bella let her mind wander to the times she and her mother would bake these exact cookies after a tough day, and how her father would eat so much cookie dough that they'd end up with half the amount of cookies they were supposed to.

When Jasper arrived, they all headed to the car to drive to Edward's. Bella sat in the front seat with Emmett, so that Alice and Jasper could sit together in the back. The girls made eye contact, acknowledging the gesture, and Bella sighed in contentment when she saw Jasper open the car door for Alice.

* * *

At eleven o'clock on Saturday morning, Bella rang the doorbell at Edward's house, fidgeting with the strap of her backpack, which held her Biology books while she waited for someone to answer the door.

The door swung open and Bella looked up. "Hi, Mrs. Masen," she smiled.

"Hello, Bella, come on in! Edward's just in the kitchen," she replied sweetly as Bella took off her shoes.

Bella let Edward's mother lead her into the kitchen, where she saw Edward leaning over his Biology textbook.

"Getting an early start?" Bella said as she put her bag on a chair and sat down across from Edward.

He looked up and grinned, beyond excited for their day to begin.

"You wear glasses?" she asked, noting the change. She had no idea he wore glasses.

"Yeah. Well, kinda. I started wearing contacts when Alice wouldn't leave me alone about it."

She let her eyes linger on his face for a second too long. "I like them," she told him. He blushed, having never heard such a compliment before.

"Thanks."

"I'm making a study plan for us. I can't study without one."

"Awesome, thanks Edward!" He handed her the sheet and she looked over it. "It smells so good in here," she noted as she handed the sheet back to him.

"My mom baked a cake this morning," he explained, then lowered his voice, "She was excited that I was finally having a girl over."

Bella smiled and Edward laughed, and Mrs. Masen piped up from the counter where she was mixing the frosting. "I like to bake, Edward," she said defensively, though she was smiling. "It's just a nice change when there's someone _else_ to bake for."

They got to work, both very focused on their studying and making some great progress. They made flash cards and quizzed each other. They quickly found out that they made a really great study team.

Before they knew it, it was one o'clock and Edward's stomach was rumbling. Bella peeked up at him and he blushed.

"Wanna eat lunch?" he asked.

"Sure. I think it's about time to re-fuel."

They grabbed all the fixings to make ham and cheese sandwiches, and had big glasses of milk to wash it all down. She told him about how Jasper opened the door for Alice the night before. He wanted to make a bet with her that their friends would end up being a couple before graduation.

"Spring break," she challenged, and they shook on it.

When their sandwiches were done, Bella took their plates to the sink as Edward cut them both pieces of his mom's chocolate cake and refilled their milk glasses.

As they ate their dessert at the kitchen table, Edward told her stories about their friends from when they were children; filling in the blanks of what Bella would have missed when she was home for the school year. In turn, she told him about things that he had missed while he was away visiting his grandparents for the summers.

He laughed when she told him how mad she was that Rosalie was so nice to her. She had hoped that, since Rosalie was so beautiful, her downfall would be an awful personality. Much to her disappointment, the two girls got along wonderfully and had a lot of fun together.

She couldn't believe it when he told her that he and Emmett threw Jasper a "bachelor party" before Jasper and Alice's fake wedding, complete with Popeye cigarettes and apple juice in beer mugs.

"This cake is amazing," Bella noted as she scraped the icing off her plate with her fork.

"My mom is always baking, it's awesome."

"Well, she's amazing at it!" Bella gushed.

"You're pretty amazing yourself," he told her. "The brownies you made at Jasper's were _so_ good. And the cookies last night? There are none left, just so you know."

Bella smiled at his compliments. "Thanks. They were my mom's recipe. We used to make them together all the time." She had decided that it was time to force herself to talk about them more. To remember them in good ways, instead of just focusing on the void they left behind.

Edward wasn't sure if he should ask her something else about her parents, or just let her take the lead.

"Does it get any easier?" he ended up asking her.

She looked at him then. "No. And Yes. I mean, it does because you kind of get used to it. And it doesn't because you're so afraid of losing your memories. That's all I have now. Pictures and memories."

"I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel. I'm sorry if I'm making it worse. We really don't have to talk about it."

"No, no. It's fine. I _should_ be talking about them. I should have been for a long time. It's just…strange – talking about them in the past tense. But, I mean, it's my reality. God, it's just so weird." She sighed, leaning her elbows onto the table, covering her face with her hands.

Her pain was Edward's pain. He didn't know what to do to make her feel better, but he knew that he needed to.

"You're the bravest person I know, Bella."

Her hands dropped to the table and she looked up at him. "Hardly. I'm barely handling it. This is the most I've talked about them since it happened. I don't even talk to Esme about it. Or Alice, or Emmett. That's not 'handling it'."

Edward leaned forward, and looked at her straight in the eyes with resolve. "You're handling it," he told her firmly.

Her eyes glazed over with tears, but she held them in. She started back at him intently, focusing on his tenacity, drawing strength from it. How could he not know how much he kept her going? How could he not know the power he had to make her feel stronger?

He reached over then and took her hand. The feeling of his fingers sliding over the back of her hand was calming. She turned her hand over as she looked down at their hands, welcoming the gesture, and their fingers interlaced. When she looked back up at him, she saw that he had been looking at her face. Butterflies fluttered mercilessly in her stomach, and their eyes locked.

"Thank you," she mouthed.

He squeezed her hand tighter. "You're welcome," he mouthed back, a smile playing at his lips.

At the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs, their hands parted, and Bella took a deep breath to control herself. Edward took their plates, and Bella took their milk glasses to the sink, both contemplating what had just happened, but loving it nonetheless.

Mrs. Masen entered the kitchen just then, noting their empty plates. "Oh, good, you had some cake," she said happily.

Bella smiled. "It was delicious, Mrs. Masen. Thank you so much."

Edward's mother waved her hand as if it was no big deal. "Don't mention it, sweetie."

She asked them how their studying was going, and then said they were making great progress. Satiated and ready to get past the gloomy conversation, they got right back into their studying and kept at it for a couple more hours.

At around four thirty, Bella had to go, since she had promised that she'd be home for dinner. She packed up her books, and Edward walked her to the door.

"Thanks for studying with me," he said to her.

"My pleasure," she smiled. "We're a pretty awesome team, I must say."

His answering smile wavered after a second, and he was serious. "Bella, you know I'm here for you, right? I mean, if there's anything you need, I'll do it."

Bella knew he meant it, and that touched her. She nodded. "Thank you so much, Edward, for everything." He really had no idea just how much she was thanking him for.

As he looked down at her, she looked up him with gratefulness in her eyes, and he did the only thing that felt natural to him. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into a tight hug. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and she buried her face into his neck, squeezing tightly. She didn't have time to think about how this was the first time they'd ever hugged, because all she could focus on was how badly she needed it and how wonderful it felt.

She tried to focus on the feeling of his hands on her back, the feeling of being pressed tightly against him. They fit together like puzzle pieces.

Her heart was pounding so hard, she was worried he would feel it. Little did she know, his was doing the same.

Reluctantly, they loosened their grip, and their hands slid along one another back to their sides, but they stood close.

"Um, good luck with the rest of your studying," he said quietly. Though she had definitely held him just as tightly as he held her, Edward was still nervous that she didn't appreciate his forwardness.

"You too. We'll talk soon."

Bella left Edward's house reluctantly, using the drive home to compose her excitement. She had felt such a rush simply by being held in Edward's arms, and she craved to be there again.

_Best study date ever_, she thought to herself, grinning all the way home.

* * *

The Biology test came and went. Bella had received a slightly higher mark than Edward, which resulted in some mild gloating on her part. Edward didn't mind at all – he loved seeing her happy.

And it didn't go unnoticed by Bella that Edward had worn his glasses a couple times since their study date.

A couple weekends later, Bella was using her Sunday afternoon to bake for the school's Thanksgiving bake sale. Alice and Jasper were at the school setting up for the event, which would take place on Monday at lunch. Rosalie had gone to Port Angeles with her mother for the day, and Emmett had just left for a run. Bella had promised Alice that she would participate, so she was busy baking cookies, cupcakes and brownies for the event.

Just as she had finished putting the brownies in the oven, her cell phone buzzed.

'_What's going on over there today?' _

It was Edward. She smiled, hoping he was free to come keep her company.

'_Baking for the bake sale. Wanna keep me company?'_

'_You alone?'_

'_Yup!'_

'_Be there in 15…'_

Bella smiled in anticipation of seeing Edward. As promised, he showed up 15 minutes after his last text, smiling as she opened the door for him.

"Cute apron," he joked, motioning to the chocolate- and flour-stained garment.

She glared at him jokingly, and then blew a strand of hair out of her face. Her hair was up in a loose ponytail, and looked as though she had been hard at work all morning.

"It looks like a warzone in here," Edward commented.

"I've baked 8 dozen cookies and 2 batches of brownies already. The last batch is in the oven as we speak, and now we get to make cupcakes!" she explained enthusiastically.

"Wow, what time did you get up this morning?" he asked incredulously.

"Early," she replied with an eye roll. Under her breath, she added, "Alice can take these brownies and shove them up her…"

"My goodness, Isabella, I've never seen this side of you before!" Edward interrupted with a laugh.

"She's very bossy, you know."

"Oh, I know. So what can I do to help?"

She instructed him to prep the dry ingredients as she mixed the wet ones together. Once those were in the oven, they cleaned up a little and prepped to make the frosting.

Emmett had come home from his run at that point, and gone upstairs for a shower.

As Bella was washing up some dishes, Edward measured the ingredients and put them all in the mixer. Instead of starting on a low speed, Edward flipped the switch to the highest one, sending icing sugar flying out of the mixing bowl, and leaving a white dusting on everything around them, including Edward.

He let out a startled cry, and Bella turned swiftly to see what had happened.

There Edward stood, with icing sugar coating his hair and his face, including his glasses. He stood frozen for a beat, and then slowly reached up to remove his glasses. When Bella saw his face, with the outline of his glasses from where the sugar hadn't touched, she officially lost all control.

For the first time in a really long time - the first time that he had ever seen - Bella started laughing. She had thrown her head back in a fit of hysterical laughter, and then, unable to stop herself, ended up bent over forward with a hand on her knee. Edward watched with disbelief as she struggled to remain composed. She was gorgeous when she laughed, and the sound of it all was the most beautiful that he had ever heard. Edward felt on top of the world for being the reason she looked this happy, and his embarrassment at the situation had quickly dissolved.

Tears streamed down her cheeks from her hard laughter and he watched her in adoration, grinning from ear to ear, before joining in himself. He walked over to the sink where she was standing, and shook his sugar-hair over her, which made her laugh even harder.

Emmett had come downstairs, hearing the commotion, and watched happily from the doorway as Bella and Edward were lost in their laughter.

_I think we're finally getting somewhere_, he thought to himself.

* * *

That night at dinner, the Cullens all sat in a comfortable silence as they ate, until Bella suddenly cleared her throat, gaining everyone's attention.

"Okay, so I have something to say. I've been thinking. A lot. And I've decided that I can't go on like this anymore. I can't just go on feeling sad for the rest of my life. It happened. It _happened_. And now it's over, and I'm here. And just because they're not, it doesn't mean I have to stop living. They wouldn't want me to stop living. They wanted me to be a good person and get a good education and be happy. They wouldn't stop wanting that now. So for them, I'm going to stop wallowing. I'm going to be a good person, for them. And try hard at life and be successful. To make them proud of me. Because they deserve to have that. And so do I. They loved me. And I loved them. I still do love them, and I always will. And I think about them every day, and on some level, I think they know that. I think they're watching me, I really do. And I want to make them proud. And I'm not alone. I thought I was alone, but I'm not. I have you, and I know you love me just as much as I love you. You love me like they did. You're my family, and I'm lucky that I have you. You've been here for me while I wasn't...here. That's what family does. I'm not alone. It happened. And I have a family." She paused and they all stared back at her in surprise. This was the most she had spoken since the accident. Bella noticed their stares and swallowed. "So. That's it."

They sat silently for a brief second before Carlisle spoke, and Esme's sweet smile took over her face. "Well. Now that we're all _here_," he emphasized the word that Bella had chosen, "Let's enjoy this delicious meal, shall we?"

He knew - they all knew - that Bella didn't want them to make a big deal of her little speech, so they moved on to other topics, each of them feeling their own joy at Bella's reappearance. She was back and seemed much happier, and that gave them all peace. Alice squeezed Bella's hand under the table, and they briefly locked eyes and smiled at one another. Emmett ate the rest of his meal with a faint smile on his face, and so did Bella.

Only Bella knew the real object that triggered her to seek closure. It was what made her want to get past this tragedy so that she could be happy again.

It was Edward.


	7. December

**Sorry for the delayed update! I just finished writing this a few minutes ago and haven't even had time to proofread it...I hope it's ok! I just really wanted to get this up before the weekend.**

* * *

**DECEMBER**

Thanksgiving had been hard for Bella. But she had anticipated it, and decided to just trudge through it. Since the holiday was usually spent with the Cullens at her home, they were all in it together, having to lean on each other, which gave her comfort.

Alice had forced her to go shopping on Black Friday, as she usually did, and although Bella was really not in the mood, she could tell that Alice needed it. Not for the new stuff, but for nostalgia's sake. Through the last few months, Bella had been so preoccupied in herself that she neglected to see the ways that the rest of her family was dealing with the loss.

Esme had taken to writing in a journal. Carlisle had begun buying DVDs of old TV shows him and Charlie liked back when they were younger, and watched an episode every night before bed. Emmett started running a lot more.

Alice was determined to keep their traditions alive, which was textbook Renee Swan. Renee had always insisted on not letting things die with the people associated with them, saying that doing so would be insulting to them. _"We need to keep it going, or else we won't be remembering them for the good things they gave to us,"_ she would say. Renee was the one that kept everyone's spirits up when hers and Esme's mother passed away.

What Bella hasn't anticipated was that, after the freeing feeling of laughter that felt better than anything she could remember, her emotions were rampant. It was as though her laughing fit had triggered something in her, and she was finally confronted with all of the emotions she's been holing up since her arrival in Forks.

Though she took pleasure in little daily things, and laughed freely with her friends, she also cried more. Locked up in her room at night, she would often cry herself to sleep. Nonetheless, after each cry, she could feel herself getting a little bit lighter.

Bella had thought Christmas might be a little easier, since it would be the second holiday without her parents. Little did she know, it would prove to be much, _much_ harder, especially with her overflowing emotions running wild.

She forced herself to participate in all Christmas-related activities: shopping, baking, wrapping, putting up the tree. She even got excited for the group's annual Christmas activities: on the first of December, they would pick out names to see who would be buying gifts for whom. On the second Friday of the month, they would go to dinner at the diner followed by a walk through town to look at the Christmas lights. On the third Friday, they would open their presents to one another.

Edward had begun the habit of waiting for Bella at the cafeteria doors since their Biology study date, so when she arrived to meet him on December 1st, they walked to their table together. As they approached, they saw Alice scrawling everyone's names onto little pieces of paper, and Jasper held his hat out as she dropped them in one by one.

"Now remember," Alice instructed, "you can't tell anyone who you got."

"Yes, Alice, we remember," Emmett's voice was annoyed. They got the same speech every year.

Alice held out the hat and everyone picked a name, glancing around the table once they'd all looked so they could try to decipher who would be buying them a gift this year. It was always a struggle for poor Alice to get everyone to keep it a secret until their gift exchange.

As Edward and Bella walked to their Biology class after lunch, Edward relayed to her the magnitude at which Alice took their gift exchange seriously.

"One year, Rosalie let it slip that she had Jasper, and Alice cried for an hour."

"I remember that! She called me on the phone and told me Christmas was ruined," Bella laughed. Edward still hadn't gotten used to how beautiful her laugh was.

"I really want to ask you whose name you picked," he confessed.

"I know, I really want to tell you," she replied, biting her lower lip. His eyes glanced to her mouth as she did, and he blushed as he looked away.

Edward's feelings for Bella had grown beyond any he's ever felt for a girl. He wanted to be with her – that much was obvious – but he wanted her to heal first, from the overwhelming pain she had suffered, and still felt. She was making progress though, which everyone could see.

He also had never asked out a girl before. How would he do it? What would he say? When would be a good time to ask such a thing? Did Bella even like him back? Would she say yes?

The prospect of actually asking her out and whether or not she would even say yes were two extremely daunting ideas to Edward. If she said no and their friendship was jeopardized, he would never forgive himself. Bella was so important to him, and he wanted her to be in his life forever.

They talked each other out of revealing the names they picked, and changed the subject instead to how much they hoped to have another class together next semester.

When they arrived to Biology, Bella noticed Bree was already in her seat, and had perked up noticeably when she saw Edward. The two girls made very brief eye contact before Bree looked away, and Bella felt a slight stab of some negative emotion she couldn't pinpoint.

Was she jealous? Probably not, since Edward had never really shown any preference for Bree over her. Was she sad? Maybe it was guilt. Whatever it was, Bella always felt it when she caught Bree looking at Edward. The fact that there was another girl who she knew wanted Edward made her worry just a little. It meant that surely there were others, and that Edward didn't belong to her. He could choose any girl he wanted, and that didn't mean he would choose Bella.

And Bella liked Bree. It wouldn't be horrible if Edward ended up with someone like her, because she was a great person. That thought didn't make it any less heartbreaking for Bella, because thinking of him being with anyone but her just didn't sit well with her.

The rest of the day passed as usual, with Edward being oblivious to Bree's affection when she tried to make small talk, and Bella feeling a little bit relieved.

* * *

Rosalie had come over to the Cullen house to get ready before the group went out for their annual diner dinner and walk through town.

Rosalie and Alice were preening in the mirror, while Bella sat on Alice's bed and read through a magazine.

"Is that what you're wearing tonight, Bella?" Alice asked her.

Bella looked down at her hoodie and jeans, and back up at Alice. "Yes," she said, resolved.

Alice shrugged, obviously disapproving of the outfit choice. Rosalie giggled and proceeded to change her top. She pulled on something neither of the girls had ever seen before, clearly she had been shopping.

"Well, _this_ oughta finally make Emmett notice me," she mumbled with determination as she adjusted her top in the mirror.

Alice and Bella both gasped, and Bella threw her magazine away. "Rosie!" they both shouted.

"Shhh, he'll hear you!" she replied.

The cousins stood slack-jawed as they watched Rosalie adjust her just-enough-cleavage-bearing top.

"Rosalie Hale, did you just say what I think you just said?" Alice asked in disbelief.

"Listen, girls. It's no secret that he's gorgeous. And generally awesome in every way possible," Rosalie began, and Bella giggled. "I just don't know what to do anymore. It's like he doesn't understand that I'm a woman now. I'm a _woman _now, and I have needs. And Emmett is the guy that I want to fulfill those needs." Rosalie spoke with conviction.

"Oh, Rosie, stop it," Alice said, waving her hands in digust.

"Why didn't you ever tell us?" Bella asked, slightly hurt that she wouldn't trust her friends with something that she clearly felt to strongly about.

"I don't know. I just didn't want it to turn into a big thing, you know? But, come on. The guy is perfect for me. I can just feel it. We've always been such great friends, but now it's like, I feel like we should be more."

Bella smiled, happy for her friend. "It's true, you guys would make an awesome couple."

Alice was still uncomfortable from the thought of her brother fulfilling any girl's _needs_, but gave Rosalie a hug.

"I'm sorry you've been dealing with it alone," she told her friend. "And as much as I don't want to hear a _word_ about the steamy details between you and Emmett," Alice paused, pulling back and looking Rosalie in the eye. She sighed heavily and continued, "Come on, I'll help fix your hair."

Rosalie squealed, happy to finally have it out in the open. While her and Alice got to work, Bella excused herself to go downstairs and make the hot chocolate that they would bring in Thermoses on their walk.

She bounded down the stairs with a smile on her face, only to find Edward, Emmett and Jasper all waiting for them in the living room, watching TV.

"What are you smiling about?" Emmett asked her.

"Nothing," she replied innocently, and headed into the kitchen. Edward followed her, which sent the butterflies into a frenzy.

He leaned against the counter as she started prepping the hot chocolate.

"What's going on up there?" he asked, in reference to her giddy demeanor.

"I can't tell. It's a secret," she told him sweetly.

"Oh, come on. You can tell _me."_

She shook her head.

"Bella, it's _me._ Edward," he pressed, feigning cockiness.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Is it about Alice?"

Another shrug.

"Is it about you?"

Another shrug.

"Rosie?"

"Edward, you can ask as many questions as you want, but I'll _never_ tell," she told him, leaning over the counter towards him. Their faces were inches apart, yet neither one of them backed away. Bella was shocked, but completely exhilarated. Edward clearly liked being close to her, and her bold move only proved it more. She was officially giddy.

He smiled at her, admiring her loyalty to her friends.

"Fine. Then I won't tell you _my_ secret."

She gasped, straightening up. "You have a secret? Tell me!" she whisper-yelled, clasping her hands in front of her chest.

"No way," he laughed. "Tit for tat, kiddo."

Her jaw fell as she feigned annoyance. "You play dirty, Masen."

"I'm sure we can strike up some kind of deal," he continued their banter, and walked around the counter to where she was, leaning backwards onto the counter beside where she was working.

"Only if that deal is you giving it up for free, because you're not getting anything out of me," she spoke with conviction.

He scowled at her through his unwavering smile, desperate to just be able to kiss those gorgeous lips. He had spent so many nights thinking about those lips.

Edward kept Bella company in the kitchen until she was done getting the hot chocolate into the Thermoses.

"Bella!" Alice called from upstairs. "Come up here!"

She looked at Edward and shot him an expression as if to say, "duty calls", and ran up to meet her friends.

Once she arrived in Alice's room, she gasped at how pretty they both looked. "You guys look so good," Bella gushed.

"Yeah, well you're at least putting on mascara," Alice told her.

Bella rolled her eyes. "The hot chocolate is all ready, we need to go now."

"Oh, just sit," Alice was clearly not taking any excuses. Rosalie dragged Bella to the bed and pushed her down onto it. "Now, because you're so stubborn, we have no time for hair," Alice scolded her, shaking her head. Rosalie giggled beside her and gave herself one last look in the mirror.

After just a couple of minutes, Bella had on some mascara and pretty clear lip gloss.

"Keep this gloss with you so you can reapply all night," Alice instructed.

"Seems like a lot of work for nothing," Bella mumbled. Alice chose to ignore her, and instead took one last look in the mirror before they all headed down.

Bella made a point to note Emmett's expression when he saw Rosalie's new top. His eyes definitely widened, if only slightly, and it was clear that he was having a harder time speaking as the night progressed. No one was used to seeing Rosalie dressed that way, and it obviously appealed to Emmett.

Rosalie turned on the charm that evening, touching Emmett's arm when she would speak to him, laughing at all of his jokes, and complimenting him at every chance she got. She couldn't have been more obvious if she tried, and Emmett was eating it up with a spoon. He pulled out her chair for her and sat with his body turned slightly towards Rosalie's all evening.

Once they finished dinner, the girls went to the ladies' room to touch up, and Bella reapplied her lip gloss, as per Alice's instructions.

When they returned, all the boys were all ready to go, and each was holding a coat for the girls. As Edward slid Bella's onto her shoulders, he leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Gee, I wonder what your secret is." Bella giggled at that, because Rosalie's behavior could not have made it any more obvious.

As they walked along the Forks streets with their hot chocolate in their little thermos lid-cups, the group naturally broke off into pairs, with Edward and Bella finding themselves relatively alone. Neither one of them minded one bit.

"You know, my dad and I used to do this every year in Chicago," she began.

"Yeah?" Edward smiled down at her, warming at the fond memory she had of her and her father.

"Yeah. There was this neighbourhood that was super high-class. All the rich people lived there. So we would drive there, park on one of the side streets, and just walk around, looking at all the Christmas lights on the mansions and drink hot chocolate."

"Sounds like a lot of fun."

"It was. Just me and him. We barely did anything alone together, but this was our thing. Every year, since I was little."

Bella found herself comforted by the memory, although it still brought tears to her eyes.

"Will this ever get easier, Edward?"

His eyebrows creased as he contemplated her question. He had no way to know how to help her, because he had never suffered such a tragedy. If he could, he would take her pain away and endure it himself. That would be much easier for him than to have to sit back helplessly and watch her trudge through it.

"I don't know, Bella. I wish I could help you, but I just really don't know."

"You do help me," she said quietly.

"Hm?" He hadn't heard what she said.

"You help me, Edward. A lot. And I feel guilty, because I will never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me."

"I haven't done anything, Bella. I wish I had. I wish so badly that I can fix this for you. Erase it, so that it never happened. I just don't know what to do for you."

She was sidelined by his sweet words, spoken with such sincerity. Her heart swelled and she wished she could just lean up and plant one on him.

"Trust me, you've done more for me that you'll ever know. I can't even…" her thoughts trailed off as she shook her head. She had no words for just how much he helped her. All she knew was that she felt so lucky to have ended up with him in her life.

"Bella," his voice was serious.

"Yes?" she looked up at him, sensing the change in his tone.

_I don't know what love feels like, but I'm pretty sure I'm falling in love with you_, he wanted to say.

Suddenly he was speechless. They stood facing one another, and Edward was at a loss for words. Her face was eager, waiting for what he had to say.

_Say something, idiot_. He told himself. But no words came, and then they were interrupted by a loud, high-pitched scream.

They turned suddenly to the commotion and saw that Alice had slipped and was lying on her back laughing, with Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie laughing around her. Edward and Bella both smiled at the scene in front of them and began walking over to the group, who were quite a bit ahead of them.

"One good thing came out of all this," she said quietly, looking at the ground ahead of her. "It brought me to you."

Edward looked at her suddenly, surprised at her admission, but she kept her eyes fixed to the ground. His heart was racing, and in a moment of confidence, Edward took Bella's hand in his own and squeezed it tightly.

* * *

On the night of the gift exchange, everyone met up at Rosalie's house, since her tree was the biggest and the scene looked like something out of a movie. They curled up on the carpet in front of the fireplace with cookies and (non-alcoholic) eggnog.

"Who's going first?" Alice asked excitedly.

"I'll go first!" Rosalie announced. "Because I picked the name of the person who deserves to get her gift first. Bella, this is for you," she said and presented Bella with her gift.

Bella smiled widely as she accepted the beautifully wrapped box. It was a gorgeous sweater, something Bella loved but never would have picked out for herself.

"Thank you so much, Rosie, it's perfect!"

"You're welcome. Let me know if the size doesn't fit, and we can go exchange it. Okay, now you go!"

Bella went to grab her gift from under the tree and returned to the circle. "The name I picked was…Emmett!"

The cycle continued, with Emmett giving Jasper a gift, and then Jasper giving Alice a gift.

When he handed Alice the little wrapped box, Edward nudged Bella's side, and she looked at him, confused. He just smiled.

Alice unwrapped the gift only to find a gorgeous pendant with her initial made with tiny crystals. So very _Alice_, and so very expensive. Bella and Rosalie gasped when she saw it.

"Jasper, this is…" Alice was at a loss for words. "This definitely cost you more than our $30 limit," she teased.

"You deserve it, Alice. More, even." Jasper's tone had turned quiet, and he looked very nervous. The two just stared at each other, totally speechless.

"I…I don't know what to say," Alice was definitely floored.

"Just say you'll skip the dating part and be my girlfriend."

The jaws of all three girls hit the floor, while Emmett hid his head in his hands and Edward smirked from the sidelines.

Alice squealed. "Oh my God, Jasper. Of course! Of course I'll be your girlfriend!"

The new couple embraced while Bella turned to Edward, completely astounded at the scene that had just unfolded.

"Now you know my secret," he told her, and she laughed.

"Okay, okay," Emmett interrupted, "there's still one more present."

"Well, how on earth are you going to follow that, Alice?" Edward joked and she handed him her gift. It was a new glasses case. Coming from Alice, it was pretty hilarious.

"Since you've been wearing your _glasses_ again," she said, as though it was the worst possible decision he's ever made. "I figured you'd need something cute to put them in."

Edward laughed. "Yes, I did need something _cute_. Thanks, Alice. And Bella happens to like my glasses," he finished, putting an arm around Bella's shoulders.

"I bet she does," Alice muttered under her breath. And then she stood up and addressed everyone, "I'd like to congratulate you all for not telling whose name you picked. I'm very proud of you," she joked.

She was then grabbed by Jasper, who pulled her into a tight hug.

* * *

On the last day of school before the holidays, Bella met up with Edward at the cafeteria doors, as usual.

"I have another secret," he told her, smiling.

"What is it?" she looked excited.

He pulled his hand out from behind his back, and presented her with a wrapped gift. "I got you something for Christmas."

Her smile grew and her heart fluttered. They sat on the closest staircase so that she could open her gift from Edward.

First she saw a Tupperware with some brownies in it, and she laughed. "Your mom's?"

"Nope, I made those myself," he said proudly. "_And_ I only packed the edge pieces."

"You are the best. Thank you!"

"There's more," he told her.

She shot him a confused glance, but returned to the box, ruffling through the tissue paper. She finally found a little clump that was heavier than the others.

Bella unwrapped it and found herself wordless. "Where did you…?"

"There's this place in Port Angeles that makes custom keychains. So I had them make a little Thermos and a little Christmas light, so that you can think of your dad every time you use your keys."

She was quiet for a moment.

"Do you like it?" he asked, suddenly a little nervous.

She turned abruptly and wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tightly. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he smiled and kissed her shoulder.

"Thank you," she repeated over and over.

She pulled back slightly and held his face in her hands. Their hearts were beating hard and Bella leaned her forehead against his.

_Now's your moment_, she told herself. _Just kiss him_. _One quick peck on the lips_. _Quick, like a band-aid. You know you want to._

She looked up at him then and glanced between his eyes and his mouth. His eyes burned into hers.

And in one swift moment of wavering resolve, she pulled back ever so slightly. "We should go meet everyone for lunch."

He agreed, and tried not to let his disappointment show. That could have been it. The moment he'd been waiting for since he met her. _And I blew it_, he thought to himself.

After their Biology class, Bella told Edward to meet her at her locker after school. This was an unusual request, but he complied anyways.

She waited impatiently for him there, having spent the entire afternoon thinking about how close they were today. How his breath had felt on her face, and how much she loved it. _Coward_, she scolded herself.

When he arrived, she smiled widely, which encouraged him.

"What's going on, Swan?"

She reached into her locker and pulled out a flat box. "I got you something too," she said.

Edward laughed at the coincidence, and unwrapped it excitedly. "Mittens?" he questioned.

"I noticed you didn't have any when we went out for our walk, so I thought I'd get you some, so that you'd think of me every time you wear them."

He pulled her into a tight hug. "Thanks, Bella. They're perfect."

"You're very welcome."

She closed her locker and he carried her bag out to the parking lot to meet up with everyone.

"Really, though," she said, "who doesn't own a pair of mittens?"

He rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they left school for the Christmas holidays.


	8. January

**JANUARY**

"So wait, Edward knew that Jasper was going to ask me out?" Alice asked Bella, who nodded in return. "But, does that mean that Edward knew that Jasper had picked my name for the gift exchange?" Alice sounded genuinely offended at the thought.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Alice, big picture. Are you not with Jasper right now?"

"Yes."

"Then _who cares_ if Edward knew he had picked your name?"

"I suppose you're right. I just wish we could have one year where no one knew who anyone else picked, you know? Just one year."

"Well, maybe one year we will. But really, it's not a huge deal that it's not a secret. Everyone still has fun and gets their presents, right?"

Alice sighed. "Right. Whatever. Fine."

Bella put her arm around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "There. That's better," she cooed. And now it was Alice's turn to roll her eyes.

The girls were on their break at work on a Saturday afternoon in January. Christmas had proven to be the most difficult time for Bella. She cried every single day, several times a day, and basically was a basket case for two straight weeks. It was so bad that she later felt the need to apologize to everyone for ruining Christmas.

On New Year's Eve, she had cried all morning long, wallowing in sadness as she had been all through the holidays, and sometime in mid-afternoon had just…stopped. She told herself that this was the best time to find closure. To put her parents in a place where they could always be loved and remembered, but also in a place that didn't rule her life. _New year, new Bella, _she would tell herself.

Rosalie and Emmett were working that day as well, but since their shifts started later, this left the girls time alone in the break room to catch up.

"More importantly, _Bella_," Alice continued, emphasizing that the conversation would be turned onto her cousin. "I think you should ask Edward to the Snow Ball."

The Snow Ball was the winter formal that would be held in February – conveniently right around Valentine's Day – which Bella had been dreading already.

She sneered at the turn in conversation. "Alice, you know how I feel about dances. And no _way_ would I ask him! What if he said no? No. No way. I couldn't."

"Bella, he's _not_ going to say no," Alice pressed.

"You don't know that, Alice," Bella replied, shaking her head. "I really couldn't stand it if he didn't like me back. I couldn't. It would never be the same between us ever again, and honestly, the guy is too important. I couldn't let that happen."

Alice sighed and rolled her eyes. "You know what? Suit yourself. But you're too shy, and he's too shy, and this is never going to happen if one of you doesn't just suck it up and make a move already."

But Bella kept arguing. "If I could guarantee that he'd say yes, _maybe_ I'd consider it. _Maybe_. But I'm _so_ not that person. I can't just ask people out. That's not me. It's too risky."

"Bella. Do you ever see Edward putting his arm around me?"

"No."

"Do you ever see Edward hold my hand?"

"No."

"Do you ever see Edward look at me as though I'm the only person in the room? And hang onto my every word like he does to you?"

"No."

Alice simply stared at Bella for a few seconds, waiting for it to sink in. Bella's lack of confidence in herself was getting in the way of her happiness, and Alice was determined to make her see what was right in front of her.

Bella let out a barely audible gasp, suddenly hearing the meaning behind Alice's words. Maybe his actions did mean he liked her. Maybe he did feel the same way that she did. The idea was too good to be true, in her opinion. There was no way she would have a chance with this wonderful guy, who could have his pick out of any girl he wanted.

"But…but…why…_me_?" Bella managed to get out.

"What do you mean?" Alice was genuinely confused at the question.

"Edward, he's just so…_perfect_. I just, I don't understand. Me? It doesn't make any sense."

"Bella, it makes perfect sense. How could you talk like that?"

"But I'm just…plain. And damaged. And he's basically the best guy in the whole world. It just doesn't make sense to me."

"First of all, you don't see yourself clearly. You're beautiful, and everyone can see it. You're sweet, and smart, and wonderful. And Edward? Yes, I agree, he's just plain awesome, but he's very shy and very self-conscious. People don't see the Edward and you and I see; they only see the reserved, skinny, glasses-wearing boy who does well in school. And the two of you just fit together. Edward doesn't connect with people the way he connected with you. That's just not him. So stop thinking of yourself that way and realize that this is _real_, and he doesn't need to spell it out for me. I know him, and I know that this is a new Edward that I've never seen before, in a _good _way. I can see it."

Bella was shocked at Alice's words. Could it be? Really?

"I, um…I'll think about it. I promise." Bella finally relented.

Alice sighed, knowing that was the most she'd get out of Bella.

"Okay, good. That's settled, then. Now can we _please _talk about how Emmett has turned into a blubbering idiot around Rosie?"

"I know! It's hilarious, I have never seen him so shy around a girl before!"

"He's terrified of her or something! I don't know what this is about…I tried asking him, but he just changed the subject and avoided me for the rest of the day. Do you think maybe he doesn't like her back?"

Bella couldn't believe such a thing, especially since every guy in their school wanted a piece of Rosalie Hale. "No way. You think? But they're absolutely perfect for each other."

"I don't know, he's just acting so weird," Alice contemplated. And then Emmett burst through the break room doors, effectively ending their conversation.

"Bathroom," he told them, when they looked at him quizzically.

When he disappeared into the washroom, the two girls scurried back out to their posts, hoping that he hadn't heard the tail end of their conversation.

The next time Bella saw Edward was that evening, when she and Alice met up with him and Jasper after work at the diner. It felt oddly like a double date, and after the discussion she had with Alice that afternoon at work, it made Bella uncomfortable. The nerves she used to feel around him had evolved into something almost unbearable. She was terrified of what she would say and do – terrified to make a fool of herself.

"You okay?" Edward asked her as he leaned into her at their table. Alice and Jasper were very couple-ish all the time. Edward and Bella might as well have been on their own that evening.

"Mm-hm," she replied curtly, nodding her head. But in reality, just the scent of him was enough to drive her crazy. She didn't know what to make of anything anymore. What if he did like her? Could it really be true? She saw everything differently now – everything in the way he interacted with her and everyone else, trying to look for clues that Alice was right.

"You sure? You seem a little, I don't know, distant or something. I didn't do anything to upset you, did I?"

She looked him in the eye, though she had been trying to avoid doing just that all evening, given the way it made her nerves flare up. But when she did, she all but melted. His eyes were full of concern, and his face was close to hers. She could feel his breath on her face again, and it took everything she had not to lean in just a little bit more, to mold her lips to his…

"No, of course not, Edward," and then she didn't know what else to say. _I'm just really confused about something Alice told me today. She said you liked me and that we should get married and have babies. No, wait. She never said that, but I was thinking it the whole time. Marry me?_

Bella glanced around, praying for some sort of interruption, but none came.

His eyes darted away from hers briefly before he tentatively said, "O-kay…"

Suddenly she felt the need to go out of her way to act normal. So she did her best, though her "best" was more than awkward.

"Do you, maybe, want to study for our Biology exam together? You know, since we're so good together." _What? No!_ "I mean, since we studied so well together before." She cleared her throat. "So, um, do you want to? Maybe next weekend?"

Edward smiled. "Sure, Bella. I'd really like that. My house again?"

She nodded enthusiastically, pleased at the progress she'd made. "That's perfect." _That was kind of like asking him out, right?_

The foursome later met up with Rosalie and Emmett after their shift was over, and they all headed to the Cullens' house to watch a movie.

* * *

The following Saturday, Bella showed up at Edward's house with her notes in tow and a summersaulting stomach.

Edward answered the door, and smiled brightly when he saw it was Bella. He led her into the kitchen like last time, and the two began studying.

Bella could hardly concentrate on Biology, she was only getting increasingly nervous as the days went on, having noted Edward's lack of physical affection with others. He still held doors open for her, walked her to classes, waited for her at the cafeteria doors, put his arm around her…it was all still there.

The afternoon progressed uneventfully, and Bella was almost disappointed at this fact. Although being with Edward all day was the best way to spend her Saturday, she couldn't deny that she was hoping for just a _little_ bit more.

At the end of their study session, Bella had finished packing up her things when Edward had decided to ask her something that had been plaguing him all day. It was the reason he invited her over to _his_ house, and he was running out of time.

"Um, Bella?"

She looked up at him earnestly.

"I kind of, um, wanted to show you something. It's in my room though, so…I mean, I could just go get it," he fumbled with his words. Now _this_ was new to Bella; she had never seen him so nervous around her.

"Sure! I mean, I can go up with you." She mentally scolded herself for being too eager to go up to his room.

"Cool. Okay, come on." He led the way upstairs, getting more and more nervous with each step.

_Why would you ask her to come to your room, you idiot? Now she's going to think you're a pervert_, Edward reprimanded himself as he climbed the stairs.

As he led her to a doorway at the top of the staircase and to the left, he gestured for her to go in ahead of him. She took a few tentative steps in, before stopping just inside the doorway.

Bella looked around, and in a few quick glances, learned even more about Edward. His bookshelves were completely full – of novels and comic books. His desk had schoolwork strewn about, with seemingly no rhyme or reason to it. There was a small pile of clothes in a heap on the floor in the corner of the room. It was pained a muted sky blue, and he had a couple of posters up – of comic book heroes. His bed wasn't made, making it look terribly comfortable. There were a few comic books lay haphazardly over the comforter. Bella smiled.

"Yeah, um, this is my room," he said shyly. _Why did you bring her up here? This is so embarrassing_. _You could have at least cleaned up a bit._

But Bella saw it as anything but embarrassing. She felt like she had been let in to an intimate part of Edward. A place no one else gets to see.

"It's great!" Bella enthused.

"Thanks. Um," he trailed off, and walked over to his night side table, opening one of the drawers and grabbing what looked like a sketch pad. Bella took two tentative steps towards him. She had never known Edward to be someone who would own a sketch pad.

He clutched the book close to him, looking at it for a few seconds before hesitantly handing her the book. She took it slowly from him, looking into his eyes to make sure it was okay. He was clearly self-conscious about what was inside, so she didn't want to invade his privacy if he was having second thoughts.

"You sure?" she asked.

He nodded, barely able to even look her in the eye. Why was he so embarrassed?

Bella flipped open the cover, only to be met by an impeccable drawing of Spiderman. On the next page, Wolverine. Her eyes grew wide as she realized that Edward had drawn these. And they were practically flawless.

"Edward, did you _draw_ these?" she asked, as she flipped through the book in amazement.

He cleared his throat before answering. "Uh, yeah."

How had she not known that he was so talented? She flipped to a page that made her stop to look, something about it was a bit different than the others…familiar, even. She flipped the book horizontally to get a look at the picture in its proper orientation.

Bella grinned widely and then giggled when she realized what it was: a sketch of the six friends, all as different superheroes.

"This is _amazing_. Edward, I can't believe this. You're incredible!"

"Thanks, Bella," he replied, though he sounded surprised that she thought so highly of his drawing abilities.

She sat down on the edge of his bed, inspecting the drawing closer. "This one's definitely my favourite," she enthused. "What's your superpower?"

Edward hastily sat down next to her, and they looked at the picture together as he responded. "Um, well, I can, um…read minds."

"That's a good one. What about mine?"

Edward looked up at Bella to see that she was still staring at the picture in awe. He smiled and felt the embarrassment melting away. "Well, you're kind of like a shield. Like, you can emit this force field that protects us all. See?" He traced his finger along the bubble he had drawn around the group. "That's your force field. Without you, we'd be screwed."

Bella giggled once more. "I like that. It's so bad ass! What about the others?"

Edward smiled brighter and went through each friend. "Emmett has super strength. Jasper can manipulate people's emotions. But he'd only use it for good. You know how he makes everyone feel so comfortable all the time?" Bella nodded her agreement. Jasper emitted warmth and was wonderful to be around. "Well, he uses his power for good. Like he'd manipulate our enemy so that they're not angry anymore. Alice can see the future, because she's so intuitive. And Rosie would distract them with her cleavage and then beat the living crap out of them with Emmett."

Bella burst out laughing, remembering the evening of Rosalie's blatant flirting. "Yeah, she's pretty fierce." Bella's laughter subsided before she asked her next question. "Does everyone know how talented you are?"

Edward looked taken aback by her compliment. "Um, well no one knows I draw. Except Jasper. He saw them once by accident. I had dropped some papers with some drawings on them and he picked them up for me. But I asked him not to tell anyone."

"How come?"

Edward shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought I'd get made fun of or something, I guess. Isn't it kind of lame?"

"No way! Edward, you are really talented. These are amazing!" Bella's gushing was making Edward blush. "You shouldn't be ashamed of this at all. Look at me, I'm totally blown away!"

They both laughed. "Thanks, Bella. Really, that means a lot."

"How come you decided to share this with me?" She asked shyly, looking down at the drawing once more.

"Because you're…you. I don't know, I just kind of feel like we're in this together, you know? I can be myself around you."

Bella couldn't contain her happiness upon hearing his words. "I feel the same way," she beamed. "I'm flattered, I really am." His returning grin gave him the confidence to ask her something he'd been wanting to since the beginning of September, when he'd first laid eyes on her.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to ask you something." His heart rate sped up.

"Anything." She looked him in the eye, suddenly feeling nervous.

"Um, I thought maybe we could…okay, you can't look at me when I ask you this. I'm selling out," he joked.

She complied with his request, looking away from him. He kept his eyes on her, because he needed to see her reaction.

"I was wondering if maybe you would go with me to the Snow Ball. Like as my, um…" he swallowed, and noticed his mouth was bone dry, "…date."

Bella looked at him then, shocked at what he'd just asked her, and it showed on her face. She was wide-eyed and her heart pounded furiously in her chest. _Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…_

She had taken too long to answer, and Edward took it the wrong way. "It's totally okay if you don't want to, I know you don't like dances. I just figured since everyone would be paired off and we were going to go anyways…"

"I want to," she finally managed to blurt out.

"Yeah?" Edward asked hopefully.

"Yeah," she smiled. "I do. I really want to."

"Great," he grinned back at her. "Cool. Awesome." He was babbling and he knew it, but he was much too happy to even care. _She said yes._

"Thanks for asking me," she said quietly, unable to get her grinning under control.

"Thanks for saying yes," he replied.

"And thanks for showing me your drawings."

"Thanks for not making fun of me."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You don't give yourself enough credit, Edward. You should really do something with this talent of yours."

"Well, I kind of applied to a couple graphic design programs."

"You did?" Bella was pleasantly surprised. She didn't know he was even thinking about it, and she was pretty sure no one else knew either.

Edward nodded. "But no one knows that. Except my parents."

Bella smiled. "Your secret's safe with me."

She leaned into him and he put his arm around her, grateful to have such an amazing person in his life.

* * *

In Biology class that following Monday, Bella felt the current running even stronger between she and Edward. They had a date set, and she was over the moon.

Towards the end of class, Edward slid a piece of paper towards her from his side of their desk. She picked it up, and had to stifle her laughter at what she saw on the page.

Edward had sketched a picture of Bella as Biology-girl, with test tubes held in a holster all around her waist, and a hand-held Bunsen burner with a flame that projected as far as the length of the page.

She looked over at him, and he was leaning on their table, his hand covering his mouth, which was stretched into a wide grin. He glanced over at her, but had to look away quickly before he would start laughing along with her.

Belle wrote the date on the back and tucked the drawing into her Biology binder, as she did with every drawing he made for her every day in class from then on.

* * *

Exam week dragged on for everyone, and the six friends vowed to celebrate on Friday night with a trip to Port Angeles for dinner and a movie.

When Bella finished writing her last exam, she headed to the washroom at school before heading home. When she walked in, she heard sniffling. _Is someone crying?_

Bella's head peeked around the corner, not wanting to intrude on someone's private moment. Her eyes fell on Bree, who was standing alone at one of the sinks, crying into her hands. Bella didn't know what to do. Should she make her presence known?

She glanced quickly around the washroom, making sure no one else was around before speaking.

"Bree?" she said softly.

Bree was startled, not having known that someone had come in, and she began furiously wiping her eyes. "Oh, hi, Bella."

"Are you okay?"

"Um, yeah. Sure, I'll be fine."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

Bree scoffed, and shook her head. "No. There's nothing _you _can do to help."

_What is _that_ supposed to mean?_

Luckily for Bella, Bree continued, having seen the offended look in Bella's eyes. "I heard Alice and Rosalie talking before our Spanish Exam, okay?"

Bella didn't know what she meant. Was she supposed to know what Alice and Rosalie were talking about? The confusion was evident on her face.

"I know Edward asked you to the dance."

Bella felt a strong and sudden pang of guilt. She blushed furiously, and didn't know what to say. She was the reason Bree was crying, and it made her feel horrible.

"Oh. I, um…"

"It's okay, Bella. I'm not mad at you. I just…feel so stupid."

"Why?" Bella asked softly, reaching out to brush Bree's hair away from her face as she continued wiping her tears.

"It's no big secret that I've had a thing for him ever since forever. And I know he doesn't feel the same way, I just guess I always…hoped…" she trailed off, shaking her head at herself. "And then you came along, and you've been here for like, six months, and he asked you out. The guy has never asked anyone out before, but he asked you."

Bella couldn't believe her ears. _Wow_, _he's never asked _anyone _out before?_

"I should have let go a long time ago," Bree continued.

"You can't help who you like," Bella said softly, looking down at her hands. She felt so bad. How could she make Bree feel better when she was the exact reason she felt like crap in the first place?

"I know, but still. Listen, Bella. You're a great girl. I'm not mad at you, I promise. I just…wish he liked me back. At least it's you and not someone ridiculous like Lauren Mallory, right?" She attempted laughter, but it was weak. Bella forced a smile in response.

"For what it's worth, I never understood why he didn't like you back. You're wonderful, and pretty, and smart." Bella spoke the truth. She'd always thought highly of Bree. "You were so nice to me when I moved here, and I always remembered that."

"Thanks, Bella," Bree mumbled.

The girls shared a hug and then went their separate ways. Bella felt horrible for the way she made Bree feel, but was glad she had the chance to talk to her about it.

As she drove back home, Bella realized that what she had said is true: you can't help who you like, and she couldn't step aside to give Bree her chance even if she wanted to. Edward meant more to her than she could have ever thought possible.

"_When you find the one, you'll know, Bella," her mom had told her. _

"_But how? I don't get it. How do you just _know_?"_

_Bella had just turned 14, and was having a hard time with all of her friends constantly talking about boys. She had never really liked anyone enough to talk about them, and felt like an outcast. _What if I never meet anyone? What if I'm alone forever?

"_I can't explain it. It's different for everyone. I moved across the country to be with your dad, Bella. Because I just _knew_. And you will too. You'll meet someone that you would do anything for. Make huge sacrifices for. Do what you can to make them happy. Trust me, that person will make you feel like it's all worth it."_


	9. February

**I am so sorry I haven't updated in so long! It's been the nuttiest couple of weeks, I haven't had any time to work on the story. I'm really hoping to update at least once a week from now on. Fingers crossed! oxox**

* * *

**FEBRUARY**

"So, last night at work, while Emmett and I were on break, I pinned him to the wall in the break room and kissed him."

Bella and Alice stood frozen, staring slack-jawed at Rosalie, who continued applying her lip gloss in the bathroom mirror at school.

"You _what_?" Bella asked in disbelief.

"I kissed him. I've had enough. The guy just was _not_ getting it."

"Oh…my…" Bella began as she turned to Alice.

"What did he do?" Alice asked frantically. This was beyond huge.

Rosalie shrugged. "He kissed me back."

Alice and Bella looked at each other, shock and amusement playing on their faces.

"So…" Bella trailed off, not even sure what question to ask first.

"He grabbed me and kissed me back and we made out for a minute, like all intense, and then we stopped and he was just looking at me. And then he kissed me again and we made out some more."

Bella started laughing and shook her head. Alice cringed at the graphic description of events.

"So, now what? Are you guys together?" Alice asked.

"I guess so."

"You _guess_ so? What does that mean?" Bella asked.

Rosalie shrugged. "Well, we got interrupted so we didn't really talk about it. And I left before he did because he had to clean up a whole display of oranges that someone knocked over. So…yeah. I'm not quite sure."

"Wow," Bella breathed. "You seem to…calm about it."

"Well, I don't see why he wouldn't want to do that again. I mean, I'm sure we will. It was _way_ too much fun."

Bella and Rosalie giggled and Alice tried desperately to wrap her head around this. Clearly she would be hearing about Rosalie and Emmett's escapades for a while yet, and she needed to get used to it.

Bella was in complete awe of Rosalie's self-assurance. She was so sure of herself, so convinced that things would work out with Emmett. Why couldn't she have Rosalie's confidence? _I'll tell you why, _she thought to herself, _Rosalie is tall, blonde, and basically perfect in every way._

As she met up with Edward outside their fouth period Chemistry class, Bella could barely contain her excitement about Rosalie and Emmett. Little did she know, Edward already knew all about it.

"Did you hear about Emmett and Rosie?" they both asked simultaneously in lieu of hello. This merited hearty laughter, as clearly this was the biggest news since Jasper's amazing Christmas gift for Alice.

"He told you?" she asked him as they made their way into their class.

"Yeah, in third period. When did you find out?"

"In the bathroom at lunch. This is unbelievable!"

Edward laughed. "Kind of typical of Rosie, though. That girl goes after what she wants."

"Oh, I know. She's got balls, that one." Bella agreed. "I would never have the guts to do something like that."

Mrs. Hilton called the class to order, effectively cutting their conversation short. Edward's eyes lingered on Bella as she opened her textbook and paid attention to the lesson. His suspicions were confirmed: he would definitely have to make the first move. And he planned on it, he just didn't know when.

* * *

It was the Wednesday before the Friday night Snow Ball, and the group was having lunch at their usual table.

"Bella, please tell me you have a dress for the dance," Alice scolded her, knowing full well that she didn't. It was something they had discussed immediately after Bella told her the news that she'd be attending with Edward, and Alice had given her a lengthy lecture on how she needed to plan out what she would wear on her first date.

"I was just going to wear something I already have. Or maybe borrow a dress from you," Bella defended herself.

"Bella Swan, how dare you talk like that? I'm offended that you would say such things. This is your winter formal of your _senior year_, and you're going with an amazing guy. And the senior council really put a lot of work into planning this damn thing, so you are getting a brand new dress, do you hear me?" Alice sighed. "We'll go to Port Angeles tonight to find something."

Rosalie squealed, momentarily pealing herself away from Emmett. Rosalie had been right: the two of them had been joined at the hip since their little adventure in the break room. They were definitely, officially _together_. "Can I come too?" she asked excitedly.

"Oh my God, yes!" Alice replied, equally as enthusiastically. The boys laughed at the fervor with which the girls approached shopping. Bella rolled her eyes.

Rosalie and Alice were officially lost in their conversation of what kind of dress they would seek out for Bella, so she turned her attention to the three boys.

"And what are you guys going tonight?" she asked wistfully, wishing she could be anywhere but at the hands of her two favorite girlfriends.

"Working," Edward and Emmett replied simultaneously.

"I'm going to be at school tonight, doing some last minute stuff for the dance," Jasper said.

"Lucky," she stated longingly.

Edward laughed and threw his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him reflexively. Though this was something he did quite frequently, it still sent her heart aflutter every single time. _I wish I had the guts to pin you to the wall and kiss you, Edward Masen…_

"Will it really be that bad, Bella?" Edward asked with a smile, as he looked down at her.

She turned her face to his, breathing in sharply when she realized how close their faces were. She simply arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking," he said sweetly in reply to her silence.

When the bell rang and everyone dispersed for their first afternoon class, Edward resumed his place of walking Bella to her class on the way to his. When they reached her classroom door, he turned to her.

"You know, you'd look beautiful even if you wore a potato sack to the dance."

Bella blushed deeply, and looked down to her feet, unable to contain her huge smile.

"Thanks, Edward," she replied quietly.

Feeling a swell of confidence from her reaction to his words, Edward reached up and placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face to look at him. His heart thudded wildly, though it was nothing compared to hers. She was quite certain everyone around them could hear it pounding.

"You should, um, tell Alice that so I don't have to go shopping tonight," she added quietly, a slight tremble to her voice. Edward's soft smile just about threw her over the edge.

On cue, just in time to ruin this perfect moment of theirs, Riley came crashing into them, feigning an accident.

"Whoa, sorry Edward, I tripped," he said animatedly, delivering a way over-the-top apology. "You okay, Bella?" he asked her, stepping in front of Edward.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Bella replied curtly, glancing back to Edward. It was clear to her that Riley meant to interrupt them.

"I should get to class," Edward mumbled. Bella nodded, her eyes following as he began to walk away. "See you in Chemistry, Bella."

"See ya," she replied dejectedly. _Why did you have to go and be such a jerk, Riley?_ Bella was fuming. She stalked past Riley into their classroom, without so much as a glance in his direction, but he followed close behind.

"So I hear you're going to the dance with Masen," he started.

"Yeah. And?" she huffed her reply.

"Just thought it was weird, that's all." Bella was already sitting at her desk at this point, getting herself ready for class, as Riley sat at the desk in front of her to continue the conversation.

"Why would that be weird?"

"Well, I mean, _I_ asked you out in the Fall, and you turned me down."

Bella paused, staring in complete disbelief. "And?" she asked with a shrug of her shoulders.

"And I just don't get what he could have that I don't have. I mean, come on, it's Masen." Riley chuckled, but it tapered off when he noticed Bella's unimpressed reaction.

"A lot of things, actually," she said pointedly.

"Whatever, Bella," Riley huffed and stood up to make his way to his desk.

_Where did_ that_ come from?_ Bella had never stood up to anyone the way she just did to Riley. She didn't even know what had gotten into her. It just made her so profoundly angry to hear anyone demeaning Edward that way. Especially because he didn't deserve it. As far as she was concerned, Edward was the very essence of perfection; the dream boy she never thought existed. He was made just for her, and she would never stand by to hear anyone speak about him that way. She had never been more relieved that she had said no to Riley's proposition back in the Fall.

Her feelings were confirmed when, after school, she and Edward passed Riley in the hall, and Riley had purposely bumped into Edward as he walked by. Bella turned and glared at him, and as they made eye contact, she could see that the nice guy who kept trying to get her attention at the beginning of the school year, had clearly been playing a game with her.

She took Edward's hand firmly and they walked to the parking lot to meet their friends.

* * *

"What's Riley's story?" Bella asked her friends as they perused the racks for dresses.

"Excuse me, what?" Alice asked. "What do you care what Riley's story is?" Alice was evidently getting defensive about her friend. How could Bella be asking about Riley when she was making progress with Edward?

"Whoa, relax. I'm just wondering…what's his reputation like? Does he have a temper or anything?"

Rosalie and Alice exchanged a look, clearly confused over Bella's question.

"A temper? Riley Biers? No, I don't think so…" Rosalie trailed off, as she ran through her memories of Riley to see if anything clicked.

"What happened?" Alice asked, a little concerned as to why his temper would be a topic of conversation in the first place.

"Nothing, really. He just seemed really mad when he found out about me and Edward going to the dance together. He confronted me about it."

"What did he say to you?" Rosalie asked, wide-eyed.

"He asked me what Edward had that he didn't."

"And what did you say?" Rosalie pressed.

"I said that Edward has a _lot_ of things that he doesn't have."

"You _said_ that?" Alice gasped, impressed by Bella's newfound braveness.

Bella simply nodded.

"Nice," Rosalie piped in. "But how does that make him temperamental? He's obviously just jealous that you said yes to Edward."

"Well, after school, he kinda…bumped into Edward. Like on purpose. And when I looked at him, he looked _pissed_. Like genuinely pissed off. It was weird that he would react that way over something like this."

"You know what? Alice, remember when he got into that fight in our sophomore year? He got suspended for like, a week."

"Yes, I do remember that! That was strange. But he's been really low-key since then. People generally like him, I think." Something suddenly dawned on Alice. "Oh, you know what? That fight he was in, it was with Mike Newton over a _girl_. I think it was Jessica Stanley."

"That's _right_," Rosalie remembered. "Man. Maybe he just gets really worked up when things don't go his way with girls. I think that time with Jessica was the only time he's ever really been turned down. Well, except for Bella, of course." Rosalie winked in Bella's direction.

"Yeah, he has had a couple of girlfriends since then…and no fights," Alice mused.

"He got into a _fight_ over something like this?" Bella was worried. She did not want Edward fighting with anyone over anything.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Bella," Alice reassured her. "Edward's not the type of guy to rub it in his face or anything. He really might just let it go."

"Man, I hope so," Bella sighed.

"So…" Rosalie attempted to look casual, though she was obviously trying to broach a particular subject, and she was obviously talking to Bella. "What's the deal with you and Edward, anyways?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, are you guys together?"

Bella thought for a second. Were they? "No, not officially. I mean…no. I guess we're not."

"But you're headed in that direction, right?" Alice chimed in.

"I hope so. I don't know. Maybe. Why?"

"But you guys like, hold hands and stuff. What's that about?" Rosalie got right into the nitty gritty, not one to waste time on small talk.

"We're just…close. I don't know. It's just something we do. I never really thought about it."

She thought back to the first time he held her hand, when they were studying for their Biology test back in November. It was a natural gesture at the time, something he did to comfort her, and it worked. Their conversation that day had broken down a barrier between them, and they had become extremely close since then, talking about some things they couldn't talk about with their other friends.

"Okay, so you're not together," Alice clarified. Bella shook her head. "But you hold hands and stuff sometimes." Bella nodded. "But what would happen if one of you started dating someone else? You couldn't be as close as you are now." Alice was concerned for Bella and Edward. Though she was certain that they liked each other, it was just taking so _long_ for either of them to make a move, that she was beginning to worry about some outside interference.

Bella looked down and thought about what Alice had said. "Well, I definitely won't be dating anyone else. Not until he tells me flat-out that there's no chance for us. So if Edward meets someone he likes, then I'll just…step aside." Bella exhaled a large breath. She absolutely hated the thought of Edward being with someone else. But just because she felt this way about him, didn't mean he reciprocated her feelings.

"Wait a second, Bella," Rosalie chimed in. "You're talking like he's not into you. You _do_ know he likes you, right? I mean, he _really_ likes you."

Bella was dumbfounded, and wasn't sure what to say. Sure, Alice had mentioned it a million times before, but Bella could not bring herself to believe it, it was just too good to be true. She glanced at Alice and found a seriously smug look on her face, one eyebrow arched and daring Bella to challenge them.

"Bella doesn't believe me when I tell her that," Alice stated frankly.

"How could you not believe that? Look at him, the guy is head over heels. It's _so_ obvious."

"Not to me, it isn't."

"Bella, you're nuts. I just don't understand what is taking you guys so long. I mean, you're both totally into each other – not to mention the fact that you're perfectly compatible – and neither one of you is making a move." Rosalie was just exasperated.

"We're going to the dance together!" Bella exclaimed in her defense.

"Yes, well, that had better be the first date of many. Because the school year will be over before you know it and we'll all be off at college doing our thing." The three girls fell silent at Rosalie's statement. It was true – they would all be leaving Forks to go off to college, likely all on their own separate paths. This was a sad thought to all of them, as the bond of the group had become rock solid.

Bella was the first to speak, her voice low. "I just…I don't want to get my hopes up. I know, everyone keeps telling me that he treats me differently than he treats anyone else. And that he's never dated anyone before and it's such a big deal that he asked me to the dance. But I just, I can't let myself get used to the idea that he might like me too. Because I really, _really_ like him. And I really think it would crush me harder than I could bear if he turned me down. I've never met anyone like him before. He makes me feel so amazing, and I've never felt this way about anyone, _ever_. Seriously, it's just. It's a lot. I mean I really, _really_ like him." Bella put emphasis on every word, conveying to her friends just how deeply she felt for him.

"Bella," Alice approached her, put her hands on both Bella's shoulders, and looked her straight in the eyes. "I wouldn't doubt for a second that Edward feels this way about you, too. Please believe us. You're amazing and beautiful, and he sees it. It's clear to us that he does. And we know Edward. _Trust_ us."

"You need to flirt a little more," Rosalie chimed in.

"Oh yeah, right. I'm the worst at flirting." Bella rolled her eyes.

Alice giggled. "I bet he'd still want you, flirting or no flirting."

Bella blushed while Rosalie and Alice giggled, and the search for the perfect dress continued.

* * *

On the night of the dance, the friends met up at the Cullen house, since half of the group already lived there. Pictures were taken, corsages were pinned, compliments were exchanged. In Edward's case, palms were sweating.

He was horribly nervous, having never been on a date before. Not to mention, Bella looked exquisite. She kept her hair down, though it was obvious that it had been done to look fancier than usual. She wore cocktail-length dress that showcased her figure unlike anything she'd ever worn before. Her makeup was light, but gave her a subtle glow. Basically, she looked like a dolled up version of herself, and Edward felt even more drawn to her, because she had done this for him.

Bella and Edward drove to the dance separately from the other four. "My mom wants to see us all dressed up together," he explained to her, rolling his eyes and clearly embarrassed.

They made their pit-stop, and Mrs. Masen fawned over how beautiful they both looked. She took a picture and told them to have a good time, and off they went, on their first date.

Edward was the perfect gentleman all evening, opening doors and holding out chairs. He got her a drink when she wanted one, asked her to dance during the slow songs. They chatted and laughed and had a great time together, though they were both much more nervous around one another than usual. Bella was nervous to make a fool of herself in her heels, and Edward was working up the nerve to end the night properly.

When the first slow song came on, Bella had notably tensed up, knowing full well that she was going to have to display some serious skills in her balancing act. And just as she expected, Edward cleared his throat and tentatively asked, "Um, do you want to dance with me?"

Bella blushed when she looked up at him and saw the anxiety in his eyes. He was looking at her intently, and it seemed as though he almost thought she'd say no. _How could I say no to those eyes_

"Of course," she told him.

He took her hand and led her to the dance floor, and they began swaying to the music.

The proximity of their bodies and faces was exciting and nerve-wracking all at once. They had never danced together before. In fact, Bella had never danced with a boy she _liked_ before, and she found herself overthinking the status of her breath.

Their eyes fell on each other as they started dancing, and Edward smiled warmly down at her. She savored the feeling of his hand pressing against the small of her back, as if holding her close to tell the world that she belonged to him.

"I'm a horrible dancer," she murmured as she looked up at him through her long eyelashes.

"You're an amazing dancer," he replied.

"Well I must be a natural then, because I don't do this very often."

"Me neither. But I wanted to make an exception for you."

"I'm glad you did."

Bella blushed at his sweet words. How had girls not been falling at his feet? They weren't lucky enough to know the real Edward. _Their loss_, she though. Because if they had, she was sure she wouldn't be having this chance with him.

She took in the feeling of his gentle breath on her cheek, delighted in the feeling of his body against hers, the sweet scent of whatever it was that made Edward smell like Edward.

When the slow song ended, it was a shame to them both to have to peel themselves apart from one another, though they stayed close all evening.

Towards the end of the dance, Bella and Edward had been huddled together around the perimeter of the gym, talking with one another about the merits of apple pie over pumpkin pie, when they were interrupted by a familiar – though unwanted – face.

"Hey, Bella." It was Riley. His face looked apprehensive, back to his old friendly self. It looked like he wanted to apologize to her.

Bella was put out that he had addressed her only, and not Edward. It was Edward who deserved the apology more than anyone.

"Hi, Riley," she replied, ready to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"I thought maybe, um…well, would you like to dance with me?"

_What?!_ "Um, well I'm here with Edward, so…" she trailed off, willing him with her eyes to fill in the blanks.

Riley scoffed at that. "Yeah, but you're not together or anything. You can dance with someone besides him."

"Well maybe I don't want to dance with anyone but him," she stated confidently, appalled that he would even suggest such a thing.

"You won't even give me a _chance_? Seriously? That is so lame, Bella."

"Whoa, hey, don't talk to her like that," Edward chimed in.

"Give me a break, Masen. You told me you didn't even _like_ her."

"What?" Edward was shocked, he had _never_ said anything like that to anyone. "Bella, that's not true, I never said that," he turned towards her, not wanting her to believe what Riley was saying.

Riley picked up on this point of contention and rode it out. "Yes, he did, Bella. I asked him if he did and then he said no. So that's why I asked you out."

Bella looked back and forth between the two of them, not wanting to believe a word Riley was saying, but also finding it a little too easy to believe that Edward did not, in fact, have any sort of feelings for her.

Edward saw the hurt on her face and ignored Riley completely as he turned to Bella to explain it all to her. "Bella, I swear, that never happened. Please say you believe me. Please. Think about it. Why would I have ever admitted my feelings for you to him? Of all people?"

But Bella didn't know what to believe. She wanted desperately to believe every word that Edward was saying, to have enough confidence in herself that she _could_ believe him. But something in the back of her mind was nagging her, telling her that she was right all along, that he was too good for her.

"Back off, Masen, can't you see she's hurt?" Riley interjected, grabbing Edward's arm and trying to pull him away from Bella's side. Edward flung Riley's hand off of him and continued pleading with Bella.

"Bella? You believe me, right?" Edward gripped her shoulders, and his eyes were imploring – _begging _her not to believe what Riley was telling her.

Bella simply stared back at him wide-eyed, trying to formulate some sort of semblance of words, but nothing was coming out. She felt humiliated for letting herself believe that Edward could really fall for her.

"Dude, leave her alone." Riley's voice escalated as he grabbed Edward again, and for the sake of theatrics, spun him around and punched him right in the face. Bella gasped loudly, and reached out instinctively towards Edward.

Edward recoiled, completely stunned. _Did I seriously just get punched?_

But instead of being embarrassed, which would have been the old Edward's reaction, he just got plain mad. He straightened up, ignoring Bella's outstretched hands, looked Riley square in the eye, and threw the hardest punch he possible could, which collided squarely with Riley's jaw.

Bella's hands flew to up to her face, as she watched with shock at what had just unfolded before her. _Did Edward seriously just punch a guy?_

Before Riley could react further, the dance chaperones interfered, keeping the two boys apart. The friends of both of them ran over and surrounded the scene, along with even more interested bystanders.

"Holy shit, Edward," Jasper cried.

"Nice one, bro!" Emmett enthused.

But Edward didn't want to fight, he just wanted to make things right with Bella. He kept his eyes on her, and she could see that he was telling the truth. He punched a guy to prove it to her.

An hour later, after the commotion had died down, Edward and Riley were both ordered to leave the dance, with an appointment with the principal scheduled for Monday morning, along with a week's worth of detention. Edward had never been to detention in his entire life.

Bella scurried to his side as he turned to leave the dance, and he looked down at her in surprise that she was following him. She nudged him in the direction of the door, and they walked out together. Instead of driving her home as Edward expected he would be doing, they sat down on the front steps of the school, huddled in their jackets and sitting close together.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Sorry for what?"

"For getting so angry at Riley and making a big scene. I ruined our first date. It's probably also going to be our _last_date," he mumbled that last part.

"It won't be our late date," she said quietly.

Edward looked up at her then, hopeful beyond belief that she meant that. "Really?"

"Really."

"You don't believe what he said in there, do you?" _Please say no, Bella_.

She took a deep breath before answering, and looked down at her hands. "Well, it would make the most sense the way he described things."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've always thought that it would be too good to be true, if you liked me back. You're just such an amazing person, and I just never thought we were properly matched."

"You're being ridiculous. You've got it the wrong way around. I was over the moon when you said you'd come with me to the dance. It was pretty much the happiest moment of my life," he laughed softly. She smiled in return.

"So what _did_ happen, then. With Riley. What did you tell him?" She was still curious, even though the answer might hurt her.

"He asked if there was anything going on between us, and there wasn't, so I told him. And then he asked me if I was into you, and obviously I didn't tell him I was. I just didn't say anything. He just wanted to make you mad at me in there. I swear, Bella. I would never lie to you. Do you believe me?"

She nodded. "Yes, I believe you."

Edward exhaled in relief. He looked at Bella out of the corner of his eye with a smirk, wondering if he was about to push things way too far. _Don't lay it on too thick, genius._

"Do you believe me when I say that you're the only girl I've ever felt this way for? That you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met in my life? Because you are."

Bella smiled and looked down at her hands in an attempt to hide her blush.

"Um…yes," she said shyly. She had never heard any boy speak to her this way, and she couldn't believe it was actually happening.

Edward's voice softened, and peeked up at Bella. He spoke with much less confidence than he had 30 seconds ago. "Do you believe me when I say that I've wanted to kiss you since the minute we met?"

Hi heart thudded wildly. There, it was out there. And there was no taking it back.

Bella's breath caught in her throat, and her nerves took over as she looked up at him. Her stomach flipped around and around, and how could he not hear her pounding heart?

She nodded tentatively at his question.

They stared into one another's eyes, the intensity of the moment causing their minds to become oblivious to everything except for what was about to happen. _Finally_.

Their breath was visible in the cold February air, and their faces were close enough that the little puffs were intermingled between them.

"Can I kiss you, Bella?" He could only manage a whisper.

Bella nodded. "Yes," she breathed back.

Edward took another second to compose himself, studying her face as he leaned forward slowly, deliberately.

Bella stared back into his eyes, noticing the left one getting more and more bruised by the minute, reminding her of how deeply he felt for her. _He got a black eye, for me_. As horrible as she felt that he had to endure that, she couldn't help but feel deeply cared for.

Their lips were closing in on one another's, less than an inch away, and they were both breathing heavily. Finally, his lips closed in on hers, ever so gently. He kissed her softly once. Twice. And the third time, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against his body, and pressing his lips firmly against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck, weaving her fingers into his hair and pulling him closer still. Lips and tongues explored one another smoothly and slowly, both savoring every second.

When they finally pulled apart, Edward brought his hands to Bella's face, keeping it close to his, and kissed her softly once more.

"We should have done that a long time ago," he whispered with a smile.

Bella giggled. "A long, _long_ time ago."

They walked hand in hand to Edward's car, and he drove her home.

She kissed him once more before getting out of the car, grinning widely as she made her way into the house.

She came across Esme and Carlisle in the living room as she passed to head upstairs.

"You're home early," Esme commented. "Everything okay?"

"Oh, she's fine," Carlisle said. "The girl doesn't like dances, you can't expect her to be there all night long."

Bella turned towards them before taking the first step up, and said, "They're not so bad."

Her aunt and uncle registered the smile that was plastered across her face, and knew right away that her date with Edward had gone better than she had thought it would.

They smiled back at her, and Esme simply said, "Goodnight, sweetie."

"Goodnight." And she floated upstairs to get ready for bed, replaying her first kiss over and over in her mind.


	10. March

**MARCH**

"Okay, guys, let's get over it."

"Get over it? Edward, are you kidding me?" Emmett and Jasper had not been able to stop talking about Edward throwing a punch at the dance, and since it was officially March, Edward was just a little bit over it. Especially since the bruises on his knuckles were finally starting to fade.

"It's done. We can stop talking about it now," Edward told them, seemingly for the millionth time.

"Oh come on, you have to admit that it felt amazing, right?" Jasper chimed in.

Edward sighed, then smiled and said, "Yeah, it totally did."

Emmett laughed his booming laugh and clapped a hand on Edward's back. "I think the beauty of it was that it came out of nowhere," he said seriously. "I mean, seriously. _No one _saw that coming."

"And that guy totally deserved it too. Riley Biers. Who would have thought he was such a jerk?" Jasper said.

"Ha! I bet Mike Newton did," Emmett replied, referring to the whole Jessica Stanley debacle.

Just then, Alice walked into the break room, where the three boys were having their discussion.

"What are you guys laughing about in here?" She walked straight over to Jasper, and he put his arm around her, looking down at her sweetly.

"We're just reliving the glory of Edward throwing his first punch," he told her.

"Oh, right, of course you are. That's all you guys have been able to talk about for the last two weeks. That was hot, by the way," she added, matter-of-factly.

Edward blushed ten shades of scarlet at her bluntness.

Everyone had been so excited about the events of the dance, and Edward had been getting much extra unwanted attention because of it. His week of detention left him little time to see his friends socially between school and work, so once that was over, they pounced on him for details.

Riley and Edward hadn't been able to have one conversation without it turning into an argument, so on their third day of detention, Edward proposed that they just not talk to each other anymore, and so they sat in silence for the rest of their sentence, and haven't spoken a word to one another since.

"I'll be getting back to work now," Edward said, escaping the continuing talk about the dance. Although it _did_ feel good to give it to Riley, Edward still felt bad about it, and all of this obsessiveness about it was only making him feel more insecure. What if Bella only kissed him because she thought it was "hot", as Alice had described it?

Edward made his way from the break room to the cash where Bella was working, and waited for her to finish with her customer. When she looked up and saw him, she smiled warmly. This was by far one of her favorite things about working with him – she could see him whenever she wanted.

"Hey you," she said, but she could see that something was bothering him.

"Hey. Listen, I need to talk to you after work."

Bella frowned. _Oh no. It was a mistake. The whole thing was a mistake and he regrets it. And now he's breaking up with me. _Had she been imagining the pure bliss she felt over the last few weeks? _You're delusional, Bella Swan._

She was plagued with insecurities as she nodded slowly at him, eyes wide with concern.

He nodded back at her, glad to have set some time alone for them, and left to get back to his shelf-stocking.

Bella's eyes trailed over to Rosalie at the customer service counter, and it was clear that she had seen the whole exchange, because her eyebrow shot up inquisitively. Bella simply shrugged, and the two turned back to their work.

The rest of their shift dragged on, as Bella was nervous about what Edward would want to say to her, and Edward was nervous about saying it.

As Bella was collecting her things from the staff room after her shift was over, Rosalie entered to collect hers.

"Edward's waiting for you outside," she told her sheepishly. She wasn't sure what that exchange was earlier, but she knew there was something going on.

Bella took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Okay. Thanks, Rosie."

"Is everything okay?"

"I don't know. He just said he wanted to talk to me, and he's been acting strange all afternoon."

The two girls walked outside the store in silence, with Bella getting more and more nervous with each step she took. When she spotted Edward waiting by his car, the knot in her stomach was so tight it was practically suffocating her.

"Rosie, do you think you can get a ride with Emmett?" Edward asked her.

She nodded. "Sure, Edward." Her eyes scanned his face questioningly, but he gave away nothing.

She headed over to Emmett's car, where he and Alice were waiting. Jasper had already left to go home.

"What's up?" Bella asked hesitantly. Her voice was shaking a little more than she cared for.

"I need to talk to you," he told her.

"Yeah, you mentioned that. Is everything okay?"

"Um, maybe we can go somewhere. Do you want to grab dinner at the diner?"

"Sure," she replied simply, though she was in no mood to eat at all.

Once they were settled into a quiet booth, Edward scanned the menu while Bella sat patiently waiting. _Can't he just get this over with so I can go home and cry in my pillow?_

The waitress came by and took his order. "You don't want to eat?" he asked her.

"No, I'm not hungry. So what did you want to talk about?"

He took a deep breath and braced himself, looking into her eyes with resolve. "I want to know why you're with me."

Bella was taken aback by this, it was not at all what she expected to hear.

"Why am I _with_ you?"

"Yeah. Why did you let me kiss you after the dance? Why do you like me?"

Bella exhaled loudly, unsure of how honest she wanted to be. "Well, Edward. Because. You're just…wonderful. You're kind and sweet and funny and smart…" her voice trailed off as she looked down at her hands, blushing. "And you're really, um, good looking, and I just love everything about you."

There was a pause, and she looked up to find Edward looking intently at her. His gaze had softened as he listened to her words and he locked eyes with her.

"Do you really mean all that?" he asked, barely louder than a whisper.

She nodded.

"It's not just because I punched Riley at the dance?"

"What? Why would that make me like you?" He didn't answer, so she drew her own conclusion. "Because you did it for me?" He nodded. "No, Edward. That's not why I like you. But it _was_ kinda hot," she added under her breath.

He looked up at her in surprise and chuckled. "That's what Alice said."

"That's what _every_ girl says," she mumbled. He shrugged and ignored that last part, mainly because he didn't care if every girl _did_ think it was hot. It only mattered what Bella thought.

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" She asked when he didn't respond.

"Yeah. It was bugging me when that's all anyone could talk about."

"Jesus, Edward!" she exclaimed, and then she looked around for the waitress, who was on her way over with Edward's food. "Can I please get a bacon cheeseburger, with fries on the side, and a chocolate milkshake?"

"I thought you said you weren't hungry!" He said, incredulous, as the waitress left the table.

"Well, I wasn't. I thought you were going to break up with me or something. Now that I know you're not, I'm starving." She winked at him. "You can start eating, by the way. Don't wait for me."

"Why on earth would I break up with you?" he asked, thoroughly confused at her confusion.

"I don't know. I thought that maybe you felt like you'd made a mistake and that maybe you didn't like me or something." She shrugged and looked away. When she said it out loud, it almost sounded silly, but it was true. She felt like they were horribly mismatched.

"Why would you think that?" His voice was soft, and he was genuinely concerned that she would think such a thing. Did he not show her enough how much he liked her?

Another shrug from Bella. "You're way more awesome than you think you are," she told him.

Edward scoffed at that. "Um, _you're_ way more awesome than _you_ think you are. You don't see yourself clearly, Bella. Not at all." He was shaking his head, as though he couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth.

"Well thank you. That means a lot, coming from you."

"You don't know how much I like you, Bella."

Bella blushed, and couldn't hide the smile that spread across her face at his kind words. "Well, if it's half as much as I like you, then I'm one lucky girl."

Now it was his turn to smile. His eyes roamed over her beautiful face, catching themselves on the sight of her mouth as she bit her bottom lip.

The rest of their meal was spent saying sweet things to one another and making small talk, but to the both of them, it was perfect.

And Edward had waited for her food to arrive before he started eating, because that's just the gentleman he is.

* * *

Right before their fourth period Chemistry class, Edward was waiting impatiently for Bella at the door to the classroom. She approached and noticed him pacing back and forth, and he perked up visibly when he saw her.

Edward walked briskly towards her and, pulling her by the hand around the corner where they could have a little privacy, he leaned her gently against the wall, grabbed her face and kissed her sweetly.

She smiled as they broke apart. "What was that for?"

"I just missed you," he shrugged.

Bella giggled. "Well, I missed you too. But really, what's up?"

"I have some news."

Bella cocked an eyebrow, having an inclination as to what it could be. They had already begun receiving their college acceptance letters, and Edward had clearly heard some good news.

She smiled brightly as he took the large envelope out of his backpack and handed it to her. When she opened it, she saw that he had been accepted into the graphic design program at the University of Chicago. _Chicago_.

Back in November, when they were all preparing for their applications, Bella and Edward had discussed their options, and Bella had secretly applied to the University of Chicago since he was, though she was also secretly hoping she wouldn't end up back in the city where she grew up with her late mother and father.

"Edward, that is amazing, congratulations!" she exclaimed, genuinely happy for him and surreptitiously debating with herself whether or not she would even consider this. Her first choice had been the University of Washington, so that she could stay close to what was left of her family and new home, but as the months went on and her relationship with Edward evolved, her options had changed.

"Thanks," he smiled.

"So do you think you'll accept? Or do you think you might go somewhere else?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'm kind of leaning towards yes, just because out of all the schools I applied to, I liked this graphic design program the best."

"Wow," she breathed. "You must be so relieved."

He nodded, "I really am. How about you? Where have you heard back from?"

"Just Washington so far," she replied, her tone distracted as she debated in her head on where to attend college.

"Well, that was your first choice, right? So you're set?"

She smiled halfheartedly, wondering if she could really let her grief keep her away from Chicago, away from Edward. "Yeah, I'm set."

Edward noticed her disturbance but had no time to bring it up since class was starting. Instead, he took her hand firmly in his, pulled her tightly to his side and kissed her head as they walked back into their Chemistry class together.

Bella's inner debate was rampant throughout her last class of the day, and she was able to pull herself together enough so that Edward wouldn't ask questions. They left class together and everyone met up in the parking lot, as usual.

When Alice, Emmett and Bella arrived home, Bella sprinted directly to the mailbox before either of her cousins could even get out of the car. She reached in, and there it was: a large envelope from the University of Chicago.

She breathed heavily as she stared at the return address, and Emmett came up beside her.

"An acceptance? That's awesome, Bella! Where?" he asked enthusiastically, and then noted her unease. He glanced at the envelope and saw where the envelope had come from.

Bella glimpsed towards the house and saw that Alice had gone inside and was just shutting the front door.

"Chicago? Why, Bella?" Emmett whispered.

She exhaled sharply and looked up at him. She couldn't even find the words to reply to his question. Would she do this? Move somewhere to be with Edward? Move to _Chicago_ to be with Edward?

"Edward," he said quietly, coming to the conclusion on his own. Bella could only nod.

"I didn't think it would actually happen. I thought he'd choose another school. I was feeling so optimistic when I applied, and now that it's happening, I just don't know…" she rambled.

"Bella, it's okay. You don't have to move anywhere you don't want to. You can come to Washington with me and Rosie. Just like you planned."

"But…Edward."

Emmett's eyebrows creased and he looked at her with concern. "You need to figure out if the distance is something you can deal with. If it outweighs being at college with Edward."

"Yeah."

"I'm here for you, Bella. If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

She nodded and smiled halfheartedly. "Thanks, Emmett. I can almost guarantee I'll be taking you up on that."

"That's what I'm here for," he laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they walked into the house.

* * *

Over the next two days, Bella was preoccupied, trying to think of how she would tell Edward her news. She had never told anyone she was applying there, especially him, but now she had to come clean.

As Edward leaned against the wall beside the cafeteria doors waiting for her, she took a deep breath and steadied herself before walking purposefully towards him.

He smiled when he saw her approaching, and she all but melted. _Yes, I'll go where you go_, she told herself. That smile turned her to putty, and she couldn't imagine living without it for the next four years.

When she stopped in front of him, he took her hand and began leading her into the cafeteria.

"Will you go for a walk with me?" she asked shakily.

He looked at her, surprised at this proposition, since they had created somewhat of a routine together and this deviated from it.

"Sure, Bella." He was not about to deny her what she wanted, especially since she had been so distracted in the last few days.

They walked through the hallways and ended up in the school auditorium, sitting in a couple of seats in the back row.

"I have something to show you," she began. This would be easiest. Show him the acceptance, and she wouldn't have to tell him she applied secretly, for him. He would draw his own conclusion.

She pulled the envelope out of her bag and handed it to him. His eyes took in the University of Chicago logo. Confused, he glanced between Bella's name on the envelope and the school logo. _Bella applied to Chicago? Why? Why didn't she tell me?_

"Bella, did you…?"

She nodded, suddenly terribly nervous about his reaction. _You are teetering on a very fine line between being a sweet girlfriend and a totally obsessed stalker_. Her heart pounded frantically in her chest.

"When?" he breathed.

She swallowed. "Back in December. I didn't tell anyone."

"Why?" His eyes never left the package, clutching to the hope that she would go with him, that they wouldn't have to be apart, but knowing that it was a huge unknown. How could she be ready to go back there?

"Because of you," she replied, barely above a whisper, looking down at her hands.

Edward closed his eyes and sighed, a soft smile forming at his lips.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, and looked at her.

She bit her bottom lip as she looked towards him and answered, "I didn't want to scare you away."

"You could never scare me away."

Bella smiled softly, looking back down at her hands in her lap. "So you're not freaked out?"

"No, I'm not freaked out. But…what are you going to do?"

"I don't know," she said simply. Because she didn't. She could either stick with her original plan and attend the University of Washington near the safety of her family, or she could move back to where she grew up, back to the place where she would drown in memories of her parents, with Edward, a boy she basically just met.

On paper, the choice was simple, but in her heart, she was being pulled in an unexpected direction.

"I have a lot to think about," she told him.

He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you do. But, Bella?" He placed a finger under her chin, urging her to look at him. "Whatever you decide, do it for you and no one else."

She nodded, searching desperately into the depths of his eyes for the answer. _Do you want me to go with you, Edward?_ If he didn't want her tagging along, that would make her decision much easier. But she couldn't ask him outright, because he would never tell her he didn't want her there.

He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, and she responded eagerly.

With that, they made their way back to the cafeteria to join their friends, hand in hand.


	11. April

_**Hi everyone! This chapter's a little shorter, but I thought it was pretty significant, so I didn't want to cram too much into it.**_

_**I'd also like to thank everyone for your awesome reviews! I love love LOVE getting reviews, it really inspires me to try and write a great story for you : )**_

_**Oh, and also, as a disclaimer: I have no idea what the University of Chicago's Graphic Design program is like, I just thought it would be perfect for the story. So let's just say it's the best around (although I'm sure it is truly a great program!) : P**_

* * *

**APRIL**

On the first day of the month, Edward and Rosalie were driving to school together in silence, as they had been for the last couple of week. Edward's mind was reeling about what Bella could be thinking, what decision she would make. It was all he could think about. The last thing he wanted was to pressure her, so he left it alone as best he could and let her take the lead.

"Has she mentioned anything yet?" Rosalie asked him, eyes on the road. She was driving this week.

"No, not yet."

Another brief silence followed, then Edward spoke again. "Do you think I'm wrong for choosing Chicago, knowing what it's doing to her?"

"No, Edward. It has the program that you want. And when you think about it, you haven't even known her for a year. You can't just compromise something like that."

"But I'm essentially asking her to do that. Compromise her future, and her feelings. For me. It's so selfish."

"You're not _asking_ her to do anything. She applied to Chicago all on her own. She wanted to. And she doesn't have to go with you if she doesn't want to."

"I know," he sulked. "I just kind of feel guilty."

"You shouldn't. If she didn't want to be with you, she wouldn't have applied there, right?"

"Right," he mumbled in return.

"Edward, it will work if it's meant to work," she told him seriously.

"I know it will."

A moment went by before Rosalie spoke again. "What do _you_ want, Edward?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what are you hoping she'll decide?"

Edward swallowed hard, knowing full well what he wanted, but never having actually told anyone. "I want her to _want_ to come to Chicago, and for her to be okay with it."

Rosalie laughed, making Edward smile. "That's pretty much the best case scenario. But, seriously. Do you want her to go to Chicago?"

"Yes."

Rosalie smiled to herself, feeling contented that Edward had found a girl he could be happy with, someone he wanted to go away to college with. She had never wanted him to be lonely.

"Don't tell her I said that," he added quickly. "I don't want her to feel bad if she decides she can't do it."

"Oh, stop. I obviously won't tell her."

"Thanks, Rosie."

Only a few more moments passed in their comfortable silence before they arrived at school, and she shot him a reassuring smile before they got out of the car and headed towards their friends.

* * *

Time was ticking away faster than Bella had expected, and the deadline for choosing a college was looming. She had been thinking about what she wanted to do every second that she was awake, weighing the pros and cons of each decision in her head, and even sometimes while she slept.

She wished it could be as simple for her as it was for everyone else: Emmett and Rosalie would be going to the University of Washington, Alice to the New York School of Interior Design, and Jasper to Columbia.

She wracked her brain over and over, going over every possible scenario, trying to figure out the ways in which she would be the least miserable. She hadn't imagined she's go back to Chicago so soon – or ever – and she couldn't be sure that going back was the right thing to do. _But Edward will be there_. And being apart from Edward would surely be one of the hardest things she could put herself through.

By the end of the first week of April, Bella had felt certain for three straight days of what she wanted to do. That Saturday night, she and Edward had a quiet date at his house. They sat cuddled together on the couch in his basement, watching TV.

"Have you thought about what you want to do for college?" he asked softly. They hadn't talked about it for over a week, and the deadline was approaching.

Bella's stomach leapt into her throat at the sudden change in topic. She wanted to tell him, but hadn't really rehearsed what she was going to say yet. She had been avoiding bringing the whole thing up with Edward until she was sure, and she was now _very_ sure that she was sure. She had made her decision, and now it was just a matter of telling him. His reaction would tell her if she'd made the right choice.

"Um, yeah, actually," she began, clearing her throat.

"Oh?" Edward sat up and looked at her. He wasn't expecting that she would have already made her decision; he had figured she would have told him if she had.

He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue. She took in a deep, shaky breath and steadied herself for what might come. She shifted herself on the couch so that she was facing him, and he did the same.

She looked him dead in the eyes and told him what she had decided. "I'm going to Chicago."

Edward visibly tensed up, clearly surprised at her choice. He had thought for sure that she wouldn't make that leap for him, that she would stay close to home.

"Really? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Very sure." Her voice was clear and confident.

"What about Washington? Will you be okay being so far from your family?"

"I don't know. But I am willing to find out."

Suddenly Edward felt pressure. What if she had a hard time in Chicago and regretted her choice? Could he help her through it? What if it came between them?

"And you're ready for that?" His voice was quiet, and even though he didn't mean for it to, it was filled with doubt.

Bella's demeanor changed instantly at his mood shift. _He doesn't want me there._ "I see. You'd rather I go to Washington, then? Is it too much?" Her voice was small.

"What? No. Bella, that's not what I was saying. I would love to go to college with you. Only one thing would make me happier..."

"What's that?" she asked warily.

"_You_ being happy. And wanting to be there. And not doing anything for me. Because if you come to Chicago and regret it, I could never forgive myself for putting you through that."

"Edward, it's my decision. It wouldn't be _you_ putting me through anything. I don't want you to feel like I'm your responsibility."

"I don't. I just think it would kill me to see you hurt. And I just want to make sure that leaving your family won't upset you."

"Edward, I love my family. They really are the best. I couldn't have ended up in a better place after what happened to my parents. But somehow, I feel luckiest to have ended up where _you_ are. It's almost like you're the other half of me sometimes. You've known exactly the right thing to say to me at the right moment, from the first day I met you. You made me feel like myself again. You made me look forward to each day, made me feel things I could never have imagined after the overwhelming grief I felt for _months_. I can't believe we went our whole lives without knowing each other. It's like I can't believe I even made it this far without you in my life. I can't stand the thought of being away from you, it's almost painful. Don't you feel it? The way I feel tied to you…it's almost like I could touch it. Don't you feel it?"

Her voice had taken on an almost desperate quality. She was embarrassed at how pathetic she sounded, but she couldn't control it. All she could do was focus on Edward's burning gaze. The way his Adam's apple moved as he swallowed hard. The way his beautiful hands clenched and un-clenched as she spoke, making the muscles in his forearms tense. When did he become a man? She could swear he wasn't this…_man_-ish, when she met him back in September.

"Bella," his voice was husky. She looked at him, her heart thudding wildly, waiting to hear what he had to say after her admission. "I feel it. _God_, I really feel it. But I can't be the reason you move across the country. I can't be the reason you uproot your life _again_, if that wasn't in your plans. And it wasn't. You wanted to stay here, close to home. I want to be with you _so_ badly, but I could never forgive myself if you made such a big sacrifice and it didn't work out."

"Why wouldn't it work out?" she interrupted him suddenly.

"That's not what I meant. We'll be fine," he gestured between the two of them. "What if you hate it there? What if you wish you didn't make the move? How could you go back there and just be okay with it? I mean, are you ready for that?"

"I couldn't hate it if that's where you were," she said quietly.

"It's a big deal, Bella. You need to really think about it."

"Do you not want me there? Tell me the truth." Maybe that's what it was. Maybe he wanted to be a bachelor in college. Maybe they weren't headed in the direction she thought they were.

"Bella, no," he said earnestly, taking both of her hands in his. "That's not it at all. If we were moving anywhere else in the country, I wouldn't even hesitate. But this is…this might be a lot for you to handle, and on top of school, aren't you worried that it might be hard?" His hand came up to hold the side of her face as his thumb ran gently across her cheek.

"Yes, I'm worried. I'm really worried about that. But I can't avoid Chicago forever. And I want to be with you, _so_ badly. I really think that's enough to keep me strong. I always thought that if I do end up back there, it would have to be for a damn good reason, and I really couldn't think of a better reason than you."

His eyes burned into hers, and their faces were now just inches apart.

"Do you mean that?" he whispered.

She nodded, smiling warmly at him.

His answering grin gave her butterflies, and he leaned in and crashed his lips against hers. Holding both sides of her face, he kissed her with feeling and intensity, conveying his happiness and excitement over their next chapter.

All of the anxiety he had felt about their relationship coming to an abrupt halt after only just beginning had melted away, and so he kissed her with as much commitment as he could. _I'm yours, Bella. And you're mine, and we can get through anything together_.

Before they knew it, a half hour of making out had gone by, and they were interrupted by the buzzing of Edward's cell phone. It was a text from Jasper.

_Rosie and I are coming over, J & A are meeting us after work. Get decent._

"Emmett and Rosie are coming," he told her, glancing up at her as he hit 'reply'. Her swollen pinkish lips sent his mind reeling.

"Now?" she asked. He looked up at her for real then, surprised at how disappointed she sounded. She was smiling at him, and blushed when their eyes met.

He smiled back, loving that she was thinking the same thing he was. And then he realized they'd be uninterrupted for the next four years.

_See you in a bit_, he typed and hit 'send'.

"Want to go wait for them upstairs? We can get some food," he offered.

"Sure. One more thing…" she said apprehensively.

"What's that?"

"Are you _sure_ you want me to go to Chicago with you?"

Edward laughed emphatically at that, because she just couldn't understand that he wanted her to be everywhere he was, all the time. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him and kissed her head.

"Yes, Bella, I'm sure."

"And you really think we'll be fine?" She smiled up at him.

"You and me? We'll be better than fine."

* * *

The rest of the month was filled with the excitement of choosing schools, registration, and making plans for housing and moving. Alice had planned a weekend of shopping at the Ikea in Seattle with Bella and her mom, so that she could design her dream dorm room. Bella grabbed the basics, while Alice went overboard with decorations to make it her own.

When Bella had told Esme and Carlisle what she had decided to do for college, they were concerned.

"Bella, are you sure you've thought this through?" Esme asked anxiously.

"Yes, I have. Very much. And I really want to do it."

"I don't know about this…" Esme's voice trailed off, and Carlisle took over, ever the logical one.

"Bella. This will be hard on you. You know that. Are you ready for this? Is Edward?"

"I don't know if I'm ready, and I don't know if Edward's ready. But you know what the best part is? I grew up there. I have Emily, and it's not a strange place. I kind of take comfort in that. She's known me and my Chicago life forever, and she understands me. If I'm not okay at first, I will be. I'll make myself be okay. I can't run away from my old life." She was resolute, and it came across in her voice. "I'm actually kind of getting excited about it," she added with a shrug.

Esme shook her head. "I'm still not convinced."

"That's because you're a mother," Carlisle sight lightly. "You can't protect her from everything."

"I know," she said as tears clouded her eyes. "But I have to at least try." She stood up and walked over to Bella, taking her face in her hands. "I love you so much, Bella. And if it gets to be too much, you call me and I will come get you in an instant, you hear me?"

Bella nodded, smiling.

"I'm very proud of you for doing this. You're so brave. Your parents would be proud too. I'm _sure_ they are."

Bella's eyes brimmed with tears, and she hugged her aunt tightly. "Thank you so much, for everything. I love you both so much, you'll never know how much. I'm so lucky to have you."

"We're the lucky ones, baby," Esme replied.

All of a sudden Bella felt an overwhelming sense of rightness. This was the way it should be for her, she could just _feel_ it. She'll be going back to Chicago, to reunite with her parents, with Edward by her side. This was right.

And with that, she made her way to the kitchen telephone to tell Emily the good news.


	12. May

_**Hi all! **_

_**I just wanted to say that I am terribly sorry that it has taken me this long to post a new chapter...shame on me! I have been so busy lately (returning to work after mat leave has left me a little flustered...still trying to figure out our new groove!)**_

_**Plus, I refuse to finish/post a chapter if I don't feel as though I've done the story justice. I really want to finish this story properly, and I want to take the time to work and re-work the chapters so that I'm satisfied. Poor Bella has been through too much and I owe her that much.**_

_**I hope you're all sticking with me...I promise that next time I write something, I'll be posting it when it's finished. : P**_

_**oxox**_

* * *

**MAY**

"This really is going to be the best prom ever," Alice gushed as she sat down at their usual lunch table.

"_Ever_, Alice?" Rosalie repeated, clearly mocking her friend.

Alice looked at her stone-faced. "Yes. _Ever_. Just you wait and see." She sighed heavily and said wistfully, "This school is going to be sad to see me go."

Bella giggled and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Where are the boys?" Rosalie asked, looking around the cafeteria.

"Um, Edward had a doctor's appointment," Bella told her.

"Emmett and Jasper were talking to Coach Jamison about the soccer game on Friday," Alice told her.

"We're all going to the game, right?" Rosalie asked.

"Yes, definitely going. Bella?"

Bella nodded, swallowing her bite of pizza. "Edward too," she added.

Rosalie snickered. "Well, of course Edward's going if you're going, Bella. You two are joined at the hip."

Bella grinned from ear to ear. "_Meaning_, he's not working on Friday," Bella corrected.

"Sorry we're late," Jasper said as he and Emmett approached the table. They each gave their girlfriends a sweet kiss. "You guys want to go do something after the game on Friday?"

"Yes!" Alice exclaimed. "We're running out of time for that kind of stuff."

Everyone groaned at her comment.

"Alice, would you stop it with that?" Emmett scolded her.

"What?" she asked innocently. "It's true, is it not? It's May, people. We'll be graduating soon and going off to college. We need to take advantage of these precious moments we have together."

"It's depressing," he told her bluntly.

"It is not depressing. Bella, is it depressing?"

"Mildly depressing," she replied and took another bite of pizza.

"We don't need to be thinking about this looming separation _all_ the time, Alice," Rosalie told her.

"Well, excuse me for trying to take advantage of every last second I have with the people I love so much. Sorry for caring."

"I think it's sweet," Jasper chimed in, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Eye-rolls were prominent around the table. Alice and Jasper were extremely affectionate with one another, _all_ the time. Of course he would agree with her.

Alice smiled sweetly at her boyfriend and gave him a kiss on the cheek and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Oh! Bella, don't forget we're going prom dress shopping on Saturday," Rosalie told her, smirking mischievously. She knew just how much Bella hated dress shopping.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember," she replied, exasperated.

"How could you not like dress shopping? It makes zero sense to me," Alice piped in.

"It's all the trying on over and over. It's so annoying. That's generally why I hate shopping."

"That part's the most fun!" Alice squealed.

Bella shrugged, giving her a cousin a blank stare.

"We need to pick out suits," Emmett said to Jasper.

"Yeah, we'll go Saturday with Edward."

"No, you can't! We have to match. You can't get a suit until I get a dress," Alice told him.

"Okay fine, we'll go next Saturday if we're not working then," he told her, clearly appeasing her prom obsession.

"Perfect," she grinned back at him.

* * *

Edward was waiting at the door to Chemistry class as Bella approached, and she smiled widely at the sight of him.

"You're back," she said.

He grabbed her hand and laced his fingers with hers, leaning down to give her a sweet peck on the mouth. "I'm back. Did I miss anything good?"

"Nope. Just Alice telling us we're running out of time to be friends. Oh, and you're going shopping for suits next Saturday. Not _this_ Saturday, because Alice wants us all to match with our dates and that means we have to find dresses first, so you have to wait until we know what we're wearing," Bella rambled by way of explaining to him just how little he missed. They were making their way into the classroom.

"Sounds very..._Alice_," he said as they took their seats.

She smiled up at him, glad that he made it back in time from his doctor's appointment to sit beside her in their last class of the day.

Part way through the class, Edward handed Bella a note. She opened it up curiously, her smile growing as she saw what was on the paper. A drawing of the two of them, dressed in their best, standing in a gazebo under the stars, holding one another and kissing, stared back at her. The best part was the superhero capes they were wearing despite their fancy clothes, blowing in the breeze.

Bella stifled a giggle, scrawled the date on the back, and tucked it into her binder, a faint smile on her face for the remainder of the class.

* * *

"I like this one. Do you like this one?" Alice asked the girls as she scrutinized herself in the mirror at the store.

"It's okay, I think I like the other one better," Rosalie told her.

"Yeah, definitely the other one," Bella agreed.

"Really? Hmm…I wasn't sure about the other one." Alice's voiced trailed off as she contemplated her dress selections.

"Well, try on the five other ones you have and see what you think," Bella suggested. Alice spent way too much time analyzing each and every item she ever tried on while she shopped, and Bella wanted to nip that in the bud since they'd only just begun.

Alice took her suggestion and went back into the change room to try on another dress, and Bella and Rosalie went back to perusing the racks. Alice had grabbed seven dresses in the time it had taken the other two to find one, and had already begun trying them on.

"Okay, I've got three," Rosalie announced, bringing her choices to the change room. "Bella?"

"I have two. I think. How am I supposed to know what they look like on the rack?"

"That's why we're trying them on, silly!"

The girls all finished trying on their selections, none of them crazy about any of the dresses.

"Let's head across the street to the other place, then we'll get something to eat," Alice suggested. Rosalie and Bella agreed and they all headed to the next stop.

After perusing the racks for a good twenty minutes, the girls headed into the change rooms to start trying things one.

By the time they were each on their third dress, Bella was getting discouraged. She stepped out of her change room, took a look at herself in the mirror and gasped. "I love this one," she exclaimed.

"Really?" Alice called from her change room. She was just as surprised as Bella was.

Alice and Rosalie emerged from their dressing rooms at the same time, and all three stood looking at one another in their latest dresses. "Rosie, I love that on you," Bella told her.

"You're right, Bella, that one is perfect for you," Alice told her.

"Alice, that dress was _made_ for you," Rosalie told her.

They then turned their attention to their own reflections, admiring themselves in the mirror.

"Have we found our prom dresses, girls?" Rosalie asked.

Bella grinned from ear to ear. Alice was right: the perfect prom dress made all the difference in the world. She was looking forward to getting dressed up for Edward, and celebrating such a huge occasion in a dress that made her feel amazing. Until now, she wasn't sure she'd ever have found a dress she loved enough.

"Oh, you guys…" Alice started, tearing up.

"Stop!" Rosalie scolded her.

"Oh, Rosie, _you_ stop. These are our _prom_ dresses. We'll never forget what we wore to our prom for the rest of our lives."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at Alice's theatrics, but Bella smiled at Alice in the mirror.

* * *

As the girls ate lunch at a sandwich shop in Port Angeles after purchasing their dresses and tucking them safely into Rosalie's car, they discussed their final weeks of high school and the rush of going away for college.

"Wait, what date did you say the prom was?" Bella asked Alice. She thought she'd heard her, but she must have been mistaken.

Alice's face went blank, worried at how Bella would react to this. "Um, June 16th."

_June 16th_. She thought the date over and over in her head, but Bella couldn't bring herself to say anything to Alice. She always knew this day would come - it was inevitable - but now that it was here, she wasn't quite sure what to do.

"Bella? Do you want to skip the prom?" Rosalie asked her softly.

Did she? She wasn't sure. How could she go out and have a good time that night, knowing the symbolism of that date. Knowing what it meant for her parents, for her. It was a horrible date that would be ruined for the rest of her life. How could she let it go and enjoy her prom?

How was she supposed to know what to do?

"I don't know," she said simply.

Alice looked down at her food, upset at this unfortunate coincidence, and feeling responsible for Bella's distress.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I couldn't change the date, they wouldn't let me. It's always on that weekend…"

"I know, Alice. It's fine. They can't change the date of prom for one person." Bella was trying to reassure her, but her tone was flat.

"What do you think you'll do?" Rosalie asked gently.

"I don't know. I need to think about it. So how are things with Jasper and Emmett, anyways?"

And with that, their conversation had moved on to the next topic.

* * *

Later that evening, Bella called Edward, needing to speak with him desperately. Lucky for her, Alice and Emmett were both out on dates, and although she was going to spend the evening working on a paper, she couldn't seem to stop thinking about the looming prom date.

"Hey, Bella," Edward said enthusiastically when he heard her voice.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Nothing, just watching TV. What's up? You sound weird. Everything okay?"

"Um, can you come over? I just need to talk to you."

"Sure, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Okay. Thanks." Bella knew she could count on Edward to hear her out and help her make the right decision for her. He was great like that, always listening to her and helping her keep a level head. They always talked things through, weighed their options, and figured it out together. It was their _thing_.

Once Edward arrived at the Cullens' house, Bella took his hand and pulled him gently into the kitchen. Carlisle and Esme were sitting in the living room, and Edward peeked his head in to say hello.

"Hi, Dr. Cullen. Hi, Mrs. Cullen," he greeted as he always did.

"Hello, Edward," Esme replied cheerfully. "Do you guys want a snack or something? Edward, I think we have leftovers from dinner, you can help yourself."

"Thanks, Mrs. Cullen, but I just ate actually."

"Okay, sweetie. You guys just let me know if there's something I can do."

Bella took Edward by the hand and led him back to the kitchen table. They sat down beside one another, turning to face each other. Edward took both of Bella's hands in his when he saw the pained look on her face.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked her in a whisper, his voice thick with concern.

"The date of the prom. June 16th," she replied. His eyes immediately registered the message she was trying to tell him. _It's the anniversary of my parents' death. I don't know if I can do this._

"Bella, if you don't want to go, that's fine," he reassured her, looking her straight in the eyes so that she knew he meant it.

"I couldn't leave you dateless on prom night."

"I wouldn't go," he told her, as though it should have been obvious to her.

"What? Of course you would go, you would have to go. It's _prom_."

"We could have our own prom. We could stay home and make dinner and watch movies. Or order take-out and eat junk food. We could wear sweats if you wanted to. We could go to the diner. We could do anything in the world that you wanted to do. Whatever would make you feel comfortable. We could even not do anything, if you wanted to be alone, and that would be okay too."

"Well, then, you'd have to go to the prom, if that was the case."

"Oh, no. I would stay home too."

"Why on earth would you stay home if we weren't going to be hanging out?" she asked him, exasperated. He wasn't making sense.

"Because, Bella. If you wanted to be alone, I would stay home in case you changed your mind. Supporting you from home. I couldn't leave you behind on prom night."

Bella's heart swelled. He was serious, and she could tell. He would let her take the lead on this. He would let her ruin his prom night, and he would be okay with it. She couldn't believe his feelings for her ran that deep. But she also knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she would do the exact same thing for him, no questions asked.

"Would I have any fun if I went?" she questioned herself out loud.

"I don't know. Would you feel any better staying home?"

"I don't know."

They paused, still looking into one another's eyes, each searching for an answer, as Edward's thumbs ran gently over the backs of her hands.

"The distraction might be nice," she mused.

"It would. Unless you would want to take that night to think about things. To not have to put on a show."

"True. But if I stayed home, I would be wallowing. I hate wallowing."

"But if you were at the dance, would you wish you were at home where you could wallow in peace?"

"I don't know," she sighed, looking down at their hands.

"Bella," Edward said softly. She looked up at him. "In ten years, are you going to wish you went to your prom?"

He was onto something there. If she skipped the prom, would she be kicking herself in a decade for missing out on something so monumental? Would the whole thing be so far behind her that she would have regretted not going? June 16th will be a day to remember for the rest of her life. Life goes on, and the world around her will keep spinning, even on June 16th. Will she shut down her life every year for a day? If she had the chance to talk to her mother again, would she be upset that Bella missed her own high school prom?

"_Oh, sweetie, that's going to be you someday," her mother gushed as they passed by the store window. Bella cocked an eyebrow at the girls in the shop. How was it that people got so excited about a dress?_

_It was prom season, and the stores were advertising their formal wear all over the city. The girls in the window who were clearly shopping for a prom dress held no significance to Bella. She never really thought about her prom, unlike many of the girls in her grade._

"_That's not for a while, mom," she replied, rolling her eyes. She was only in the 9__th__ grade, how could her mother be thinking about her _prom_?This woman needed to relax. _

"_Oh, I know, sweetie. It's still a fun thing to think about. It's the most exciting time in a girl's life, up until her wedding day. You will never forget your prom. Just wait, you'll see." _

_Bella glanced at her mother and noticed her looking fondly at the girls in the window. She could sense that it was a night her mother remembered fondly._

"_Tell you what, mom," she began. Renee instantly perked up at the changing tone in Bella's voice. "When it's time for me to shop for a prom dress, we'll go together, okay? And we'll go out for lunch and everything. Make a day out of it."_

_Renee's answering grin was enough to tell Bella how ecstatic that made her. She wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders, resting her head on Bella's. _

"_Oh, baby. I have never been more happy that we didn't have a baby boy."_

"I'll go," she stated firmly.

Edward sat up straight, surprise on his face. "Really? Are…are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Oh…okay. That's great! As long as that will make you happy. Don't feel pressured," he reassured her.

Bella smiled warmly at him, loving the way he was always so supportive of her, even when he couldn't relate to her situation at all. She hoped he would never have to be in her position.

"It makes me happy. It's what I want. I'm going. We're going."

He smiled back at her, took her face in both of his hands, and kissed her tenderly on the mouth.

"What made you decide?" he asked softly, looking deeply into her eyes.

"You're right. I would regret missing it in ten years." Edward blushed, happy that he could have helped. "Plus," she added, "My mother would _kill_ me if I missed my prom."

Edward laughed, and leaned in for another kiss. This time, Bella wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, losing herself in the sensation of his soft mouth. Her feelings for him swelled and she was overcome with how much she felt for him. She touched her forehead to his as she broke their kiss.

"Thank you," she whispered fervently, as he would never be able to truly understand all that he had given her.

"Anything, Bella. Anything for you," he replied softly.

"_I love you," she told him, as she gazed into the depths of his green eyes._

"_I love you too, Bella," he replied passionately as he drew her into his arms and kissed her deeply, her body molding into his and his hands roaming all over…_

At least, that's what she was daydreaming about as he leaned in and kissed her once more in her kitchen. And she hoped that one day she would have the courage to actually tell him.

She was feeling it now: the healing. Something was changing for her, and she could see the merit in moving on with her life, in not dwelling on the devastation. Her thoughts of her parents had grown happy over the past months. The shock of the memories was still there, but the prom situation was a good exercise in overcoming it. She realized that she was remembering them – everything about them – every single day of her life, and that it was a good thing. It wasn't something that crippled her any longer. It was something that made her thrive.


	13. June Again

_**I know, I know, it has been way too long and I feel really bad about it! I only have one chapter left of this story, and I already have a really detailed idea of what it will be. **_

_**As for my future stories, I think I'll be waiting until they're complete before posting them ; ) I just hate leaving things unfinished like this!**_

_**Thanks for sticking with me...enjoy! : )  
**_

* * *

**JUNE**

It was a Friday after school, and the three girls were hanging out in Bella's room until the boys showed up for their weekly group date.

"Is Jasper coming tonight?" Bella asked Alice.

"Yeah, after his shift. He should be here around 9:30," she told them, though she seemed distracted by something. Emmett and Edward were going for prom suit fittings and would be back later on.

"Hey," Rosalie said to her as she tossed a pillow in Alice's direction. "What's up with you?"

Alice paused, looking between Bella and Rosalie, almost as if she was considering whether or not to come clean about something.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Just spill. You know you're going to eventually. Might as well get it over with before the guys get here." She smirked at Bella, who smiled in return.

"Okay, fine. But you can't tell anyone."

Bella and Rosalie stared at her blankly. "Alice," Bella began. "Really? 'Don't tell anyone'? Of course we won't tell anyone."

"I know, I know. I just had to say it to make it official. Anyways," she took a deep breath before continuing. "I think that Jasper and I are going to, you know…on prom night…" her voice trailed off and she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Really?" Bella asked, incredulously. "Have you guys talked about it?"

"Yes. And I really think I'm ready."

"You _think_ you're ready?" Bella pressed.

"I know I'm ready. I know I want it to be Jasper."

"But you don't have to rush into it, because you're going to be moving to the same city anyways."

"I know that. But I want to do it here. And soon. It's just more sentimental this way, at least to me."

Alice looked shy, as though she was explaining herself to Bella.

"Look, Alice, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, I just want you to be sure, that's all."

"I know, Bella. And you don't need to worry about me, not in this case. We'll be smart about it, trust me. Plus, Rosie and Emmett are going to."

Bella's eyes darted to Rosalie, upset that she hadn't told her.

"Oh, come on, are you really surprised?" Rosalie asked in response to Bella's shocked expression.

"Well, how come you didn't tell me?"

Rosalie shrugged. "I don't know, it just hadn't come up with us. And I mean, it's not like we've had it planned for a while. I didn't not tell you on purpose, I swear."

"So…when are you guys gonna do it?" Bella asked, scrunching up her nose. She couldn't imagine a time that their parents wouldn't find out about it.

"We were thinking of…um…getting rooms at the Inn," Alice said tentatively.

"Well, how's that going to work? I mean, don't you think it would be a bit suspicious?"

"Well…" Rosalie's voice trailed off as she looked to Alice for support. "That's where you and Edward come in." She grinned sweetly at Bella.

Bella's eyes narrowed at her friends. She could see what was coming.

Alice was the one to explain. "Edward's parents are going out of town that night, because the guys were originally all going to stay there. And, you know, his parents are _awesome_ and thought it would be nice to leave them alone on their prom night…"

Bella eyed them skeptically. Alice and Rosalie exchanged a glance and Rosalie continued.

"So then we thought we'd just tell our parents that we were _all_ going to stay at the Inn. A room for the girls, a room for the guys. But that would mean that you and Edward wouldn't have a place to stay. So…maybe…do you want to…I don't know…stay at Edward's that night but just tell Mr. and Mrs. Cullen that you'll be at the Inn with us?" She rushed the last part, knowing that Bella would be a hard sell.

"You want me to lie? And what if I don't want to spend the night at Edward's? What if _I'm _not ready for that?"

"You wouldn't have to do anything you didn't want to. Edward's not like that," Alice told her. "Please, Bella? For us?"

"And what does Edward have to say about all this?" Bella asked, crossing her arms.

"I think Emmett's talking to him about it right now actually," Rosalie told her.

"So you want me and Edward to lie to our parents so that you guys can sneak away and…_do_ it?"

"Yes," both girls replied simultaneously.

"I don't feel right about that…" Bella's voice trailed off. "Too much sneaking around. And what happens if we get caught?"

Alice rushed to reassure her. "If we get caught, we'll fess up to everything and you and Edward won't get into any trouble at all. We promise."

Bella sighed, and finally said, "I want to talk to Edward first."

That was good enough for Alice and Rosalie, and they thanked Bella and moved onto lighter topics as they waited for Emmett and Edward to show up.

Once they heard the boys walk into the house, Bella's stomach began doing summersaults. She knew that Edward knew what the others were planning, and she was terrified to talk to him about it. Would he want to do it too? Or worse, did he _expect_ her to? She wasn't sure if she was ready for that. And now she would be forced to have that conversation with him, which made her uncomfortable.

The girls went down to meet the boys in the kitchen, and Bella's nerves were practically making her pounding heart leap into her throat.

Her eyes met Edwards and she could see right away that he was nervous too. He took the few steps towards her, took one of her hands lightly and leaned down to place a soft kiss on her mouth. Bella found comfort in the feeling of his thumb passing gently over her knuckles, reassuring her that he was one of the good guys.

He kept his face close to hers as their lips parted and looked her straight in the eyes. Could he sense her tension?

"We need to talk," he whispered. She nodded in return and he squeezed her hand.

Okay, so maybe this wouldn't be as hard as she had thought. He knew they needed to talk about it, so she wouldn't have to bring it up out of left field. _It's fine. We can do this. We'll just talk about it and I'll be honest and that will be that. It's our thing. _Bella clung desperately to those thoughts, and hoping beyond hope that she was right.

The night continued as it usually did, and Jasper met up with everyone after his shift, as promised. No one mentioned the prom night plan, and Edward and Bella were grateful for this. They needed to discuss the situation alone first.

Unfortunately, their conflicting shifts at the grocery store, as well as final projects and family obligations had prevented them from seeing each other for the rest of the weekend.

Monday flew by without a moment along together, so when they arrived at their Chemistry class together, they went to sit down immediately to take advantage of the few minutes they had before the bell rang. They spoke in low whispers to keep listening ears at bay.

"Bella, that whole thing was _not_ my idea," Edward began.

"I know."

"I don't want you to think I expect you to…you know. We don't have to do this."

She wasn't entirely sure if he was talking about spending the night alone at his house, or doing…_it_.

"I know. I just," she lowered her voice even more. "I'm not ready."

"That's fine, Bella." His eyes were sincere, and her nerves began to dissipate.

"Are you? Ready?"

"Um, well…yeah. I guess. But that's only because I lo…" They were suddenly interrupted by the bell ringing, and Bella jumped at the interference, grabbing her books suddenly.

Edward sat frozen, unable to believe what almost just came out of his mouth. Did she notice? He hoped not. And by the look on her face as she tried to focus on the teacher, he didn't think she had heard.

_I love her? _He contemplated his words. Was it really love? He hadn't even known Bella for that long, and they were just kids. Could he really be in love? He had already acknowledged that his feelings were strong, and that Bella meant the world to him. She was the most important person in his life and felt more for her than he had ever felt possible.

But was he making too much of it since he had nothing to really compare it to? He had liked a few other girls before, but he had never had those feelings reciprocated. And what about Bella? Did she feel strongly for him as well? Could he come clean about his feelings for her?

They caught each others' eye about ten minutes into class, and Bella smiled sweetly at him.

_Yup. Definitely love her_.

She mimed putting her pen to paper and mouthed "draw me something". Edward smiled brightly and she returned the gesture.

When he returned the piece of paper towards the end of class, Bella inhaled sharply at the beautiful image that she saw. It was her. Edward had drawn a portrait of her as she sat at her desk taking notes and listening to the teacher. But he made her look ten times more beautiful, and she was shocked at how lifelike it looked.

She blushed furiously and smiled shyly at him before scrawling the date on the back and tucking it into her binder.

They left class hand-in-hand, and Bella looked up in admiration at Edward. It was like he became more talented by the day.

"That was a really nice picture," she said with a low voice.

"I had a really nice subject," he replied, nudging her gently with his elbow and kissing her hair.

"I look like a supermodel in it," she laughed.

His brow creased in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you made me look so…beautiful. And _real_."

He looked down at her then, and he realized that she didn't think this of herself. "It's what I see, Bella."

She couldn't believe her ears. Everything he said to her was said with such sincerity; she couldn't help but believe him. And she couldn't believe that someone so wonderful could think such beautiful things about her. Especially after the year that she'd had, and all the baggage she carried with her.

She smiled warily up at him, her cheeks turning a faint scarlet.

And just to drive the point home, in true Edward fashion, he thoughtlessly brought their hands to his mouth and kissed the back of her hand softly.

* * *

It was the day of the prom, and the girls were at the salon getting their hair and makeup done bright and early. There would be a pre-prom party at Mike Newton's house at four o'clock, so the group had decided that everyone should be ready for three to take pictures.

The parents all went out for lunch together, leaving the kids to their prom preparations. Bella and Edward had ultimately decided to go along with the plan, though reluctantly. They were worried about getting in trouble, but at the same time, didn't want to betray their friends.

They had finished discussing the issue after school on the day Edward almost let the L-word slip, walking extra-slowly to the parking lot to meet everyone.

"So, you're ready then," Bella stated. It was not a question.

"Yes."

"Um, okay. Well…is it okay that I'm not?"

"Of course," he said adamantly. "Bella, I'll wait forever for you. You can't feel pressured, okay? If you're not a hundred and ten percent, then we're not doing it."

"Really?" She sounded relieved, and grateful.

"Really. Bella, it would be awful if you did because you thought you had to. And not just for you – for me, too. The last thing I want is for my first time to be with someone who isn't into it."

She laughed at that, and was actually appreciative of the fact that his reason was a bit selfish. This reassured her that he fully meant it.

It was after that conversation that Bella felt more comfortable going along with their friends' plan and decided to spend the night at Edward's house.

As the three girls go their hair done at the salon on the morning of their prom, they talked excitedly about the evening ahead of them. Alice had spent every night that week at the school, along with Jasper and the rest of the social committee, getting everything ready for the big night.

"I hope everything goes well," Alice mused.

"Oh, Alice, it will. You're too organized for anything to get messed up. And even so, there's nothing you can do about it now so you might as well just enjoy yourself," Rosalie said.

"You're right. I just want everyone's prom night to be memorable.

"It will be," Bella piped up. She gave Alice a wary smile, doing her best to put on her happy face and pretend like it was any other day.

The truth was that, from the moment she woke up that morning, the significance of day washed over her like a crushing wave. She mechanically got herself out of bed and made her way downstairs, contemplating her decision to attend their senior prom.

When she had arrived in the kitchen, she was welcomed with a full breakfast, and Esme's tear-filled eyes as she said "Good Morning" to her niece. They shared a long heartfelt embrace, crying silently with one another as they each remembered the events of one year ago as vividly as if they had happened only a few days ago.

As they reluctantly pulled apart, Esme placed her hands on either side of Bella's face. "I'm so happy you're going to your prom, baby. Your mother will be happy to send you off, wherever she is."

This set Bella off into an uncontrollable crying fit. She sobbed heavily into her aunt's shoulder. It was true, her mother would have never wanted her to miss the prom, and she would do it for her, if for no other reason. Bella took comfort in her aunt's loving arms, and eventually calmed herself down enough to say, "I love you."

It had been a while since Bella had a breakdown of that magnitude with regards to the loss of her parents. She had expected it to happen on the anniversary though, and could only hope that she had let it out of her system enough to enjoy the rest of her prom day.

The Cullens enjoyed their breakfast all together before heading their separate ways to get on with their preparations for the day. In Emmett's case, this included sitting in front of the television and playing video games until a half hour before he was supposed to be ready. Alice and Bella picked up Rosalie and headed to the hair salon to be primped.

Unfortunately, Bella found it very difficult to think of much else – her thoughts were zeroed in on her parents, their horrible accident, and the awful weekend spent alone in her house after she had found out about it. She tried desperately to remember everything about her last interaction with them. It was before school that day, as they had left before she returned home. Had she been nice to them? Did she tell them she loved them? What did they talk about?

Try as she might, the memories were gone. All she was left with was the vibrant visual of the aftermath, which she couldn't shake no matter how hard she tried.

As Bella, Alice and Rosalie were getting their gowns and shoes on in Alice's bedroom, they heard their parents coming through the door of the Cullens' house, chattering excitedly.

"Alice, Bella, Emmett!" Esme called. "Are you all ready to go?"

"Almost!" Alice shouted back. Bella's insides turned to mush as she realized that Edward would be arriving soon, and he had never seen her so dressed up before. She shoved Rosalie aside as she took over the mirror, giving herself another once over.

"Did Bella Swan just hip-check me away from the mirror so she could _use_ it?" she laughed, not offended at all by Bella's sudden surge.

Bella didn't respond, instead, she just scrutinized her face in the mirror and made sure every hair was in its perfect place.

"Whoa. Bella. What's gotten into you?" Rosalie asked when she didn't get a reaction.

"Nothing, I just want to make sure I look okay. It's, um, almost time for the guys to get here."

Rosalie stood right beside Bella at the mirror and put an arm around her friend. "You look perfect. He's going to love it." Of course Rosalie understood that Bella had done it all for Edward. There would have been no other reason she would have agreed to be poked and prodded all day long.

Bella took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "I'm ready," she stated. "You guys ready?"

"Just about," Alice responded, tying the straps on her heels. "There," she sighed, and stood up to stand alongside her best friends as they all admired themselves in the mirror.

"Perfect," Alice smiled, as she wrapped her arm around Bella, who was sandwiched between her and Rosalie.

"Picture!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"What? We're going down to take pictures right now," Bella told her.

"We need one of the three of us _now_. Before we leave this room. Just us." She grabbed her camera and snapped a picture of the three of them through the mirror, arms laced together and heads touching.

There was suddenly a loud pounding on the door, and the girls jumped.

"Come on, let's go," Emmett's voice boomed from the hallway.

"Coming," Alice chimed.

"Edward and Jasper are here already," he called. And then they heard him bounding down the stairs.

Bella's butterflies fluttered once again in her stomach.

"Okay, let's go," Alice smiled.

They piled out of Alice's room and headed downstairs, with Alice leading the way, followed by Rosalie and then Bella.

The parents gushed over their made-up children, taking out their cameras to capture it all. Bella peeked through the crowd at Edward, who smiled brightly at his beautiful date.

She walked over to him, unable to hide her brilliant smile, thinking entirely about how happy she was that she had decided to go to her prom. Edward looked perfect, and her heart melted as he held a little box that housed her corsage.

"You look really, um, beautiful," he whispered to her amid the flashes of the cameras and excited chatter. His cheeks flushed and his mouth dried. _I love her_.

"Thanks," she whispered back. "You look really good too. _Really_ good," she emphasized, and they both laughed quietly together.

Alice retrieved the flowers for the girls to pin on the boys' lapels, photos were taken, and the group was off before they knew it to Mike Newton's pre-prom party.

The party was held in Mike's backyard, their whole graduating class fluttering around excitedly. The weather held out beautifully that day – a cloudy sky, but no rain. It was the most they could ask for in Forks.

Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett all spent their time socializing with their classmates, getting caught up in the exhilaration of the day, whereas Bella and Edward hung back, choosing instead to sit on a couple of chairs under the big tree.

"Can I get you a drink?" Edward asked politely.

"No, thanks, I'm fine for now."

"We don't have to sit if you don't want, we can get up and be social," he told her, though if he had it his way, he would stay right where he was, watching the celebration from afar.

"If you want, but I mean, I don't really know these people. Don't feel like you have to hang back with me though, if you want to go spend time with your friends."

Edward laughed. "Bella, trust me. I'm right where I want to be."

She smiled at him and they fell into easy conversation as they waited for the rest of their group to be ready to leave.

They had spent almost two hours at Mike's party before everyone started trickling out to head to the dance. The six friends re-grouped before heading in their respective cars.

"Oh my God, the day is already practically over," Alice pouted.

"Oh, Alice, stop it. The night hasn't even begun yet," Rosalie scolded.

"Rosie, just face it. We only keep getting closer to the end."

Groans were heard from absolutely everyone except Alice, as they all decided it was time to break off and head to the party.

"For someone so perky, she really can be such a downer," Bella said to Edward as the pulled away from Mike's house.

"I know. She really knows how to spoil a good time," he teased.

"She's just really sentimental," Bella added. They all loved Alice for all of her quirks, even this one.

After a beat, Bella spoke again. "I'm really happy we're going to prom together."

"I'm happy too," he smiled.

Her words meant more than just that, and Edward knew it. She was happy that she had decided to take this step, and she felt that her decision was the right one. What he didn't know was that he was largely what brought her to this point – what made her embrace the notion of being happy again. She didn't want to miss out on anything in her life, especially if it was something that involved Edward. It's what made her decided to go back to Chicago, and again what made her decide to attend her prom.

_I think I'm in love with you, Edward._ She blinked back tears as she gazed out the window, suddenly overcome with an intense feeling of happiness. And as she thought those words, she knew they were true. Nothing had ever felt this right in her life. Before moving to Forks after the death of her parents, she thought she would always be damaged, never being able to see the good in anything. Having Edward in her life had shown her the opposite: she saw the good in everything, the potential for a happy life, and she had the drive to move forward – hopefully with him. She could never have imagined something so good coming out of such a horrific experience.

Edward was the light in all of that dark, and he didn't even know it.

Upon their arrival, Edward opened the door for her and held out his hand, which she took. For the rest of the evening, they were basically glued to one another's side. They talked and laughed, enjoying their time together, danced through every single slow song, and even a couple of fast ones when Alice dragged them onto the dance floor.

They watched with pride as Alice and Jasper crowned Rosalie and Emmett prom King and Queen, cheering loudly for their friends. And during the last slow dance of the night, it all hit Bella like a wrecking ball.

She and Edward danced closely together, their bodies pressed firmly against one another, as Bella reflected on the last year of her life. This was the last place she ever thought she would have ended up spending her prom, and with someone she could never have expected. Having grown up without having ever known Edward seemed like such a shame, but at the same time, the last year made up for it tenfold. The quality of their friendship was as strong as it would have been had they been friends for years. The bond they shared was unshakeable. They connected in a way she never had with anyone before, and understood one another with such depth that she had been changed irrevocably. To be without Edward in her life – in one way or another – would be virtually impossible.

And just as suddenly as these thoughts came, the energy between them had shifted infinitesimally, but enough for her to take notice. It was almost as though Edward's whole body had stiffened, and she could feel his arms tighten around her waist.

Bella found herself paying attention to his every breath, his every heartbeat, every inch of his body against hers. And just as she savored the breath he took as he buried his nose in her hair and smelled her sweet smell, she knew something great was about to happen.

"Bella," he whispered, so quietly that, even if there was no music playing, no one else would have been able to hear him.

She shifted her face slightly towards his, but he kept his arms as tightly around her as before, keeping them cheek to cheek.

Bella waited for him to say something for what seemed like forever, but was likely only a few seconds. He took a deep, shaky breath, and for some inexplicable reason, Bella's heart sped up.

"I love you," he whispered, just as quietly as before.

Bella's breath caught in her throat, and tears filled her eyes as she tightened her grip on him and buried her face in his neck. She planted a soft kiss just below his ear and whispered, "I love you too."

Edward's sighed heavily and moved so that they were face-to-face. No longer dancing, but instead just holding one another tightly on the dance floor, looking deep into each other's eyes.

Overwhelmed with relief and happiness, Edward leaned in swiftly and crushed his lips to hers. He kissed her deeply and passionately, holding her as close as he possibly could.

They stayed like that for a while, being interrupted by Alice asking them if they had a good time. They reluctantly separated, but knew that they would be along together any second, as the group would be splitting up to continue on with their respective "after-parties".

The six walked out of the dance together, saying a final goodnight before separating. As the girls shared a group hug, Bella whispered to them, "Be safe."

"Yes, mom," Rosalie teased, and Alice giggled.

Edward held Bella's hand for the entire drive back to his house and carried her overnight bag inside for her, all the while holding her hand.

Just as he shut the door behind him, the kissing resumed, and their inhibitions were gone now that they weren't in public anymore. Before they knew it, they were lying on the couch in the living room, with Edward on top of Bella, making out heavily. Hands were roaming freely as lips, mouths and tongues explored one another.

Things were getting heavy, and Edward wasn't sure if he should stop it. Bella said she wasn't ready, but she seemed pretty into it. He would stop if she wanted to, that was for sure. But for the moment, he couldn't bring himself to put it to an end.

"Let's go upstairs," Bella whispered suddenly.

Edward stopped dead in his tracks. _What?_

"Are you sure?" he asked her, looking into her eyes for any sign that she wasn't ready.

"I'm sure," was all she said. She sat up, keeping her eyes on his, took his hand and led him up to his bedroom.

They stood at the foot of his bed, very close to one another, and Edward ran his hands up the sides of her arms, over her shoulders, and cupped her face with his hands before leaning in to kiss her again.

Bella didn't hesitate to reciprocate his actions, and began unbuttoning his shirt, one button at a time, their mouths never leaving one another. The only sounds were their ragged breathing and their lips moving together fiercely.

Edward reached slowly around and found the zipper of her dress, pulling it down slowly. Just as he brought his hands back to her shoulders to peel the fabric off of her, she pulled back suddenly, placing a hand on his chest.

He paused and looked down at her, and saw her nervous face looking up at him.

"I can't," she said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay, Bella. It's okay," he reassured her.

"I thought I could, but…"

"Stop, it's fine. Really. I promise."

She peeked up at him with uncertainty, but saw his sincerity on his face. She couldn't help but feel awful for teasing him like that. She looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"Bella," he said more firmly. She looked up at him then. "Go change. I'll go make us something to eat, and we'll hang out. Okay?"

She nodded, unable to shake the guilt.

"Stop that," he told her softly, and tilted her chin up to look at him once more. He kissed her softly on the lips and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Do you still love me?" she asked in a quiet voice, muffled by his shoulder.

Edward laughed loudly at that ridiculous question. "Yes, Bella, I still love you. I've told you this before: not until you're three hundred percent ready."

"Do you still wanna make out a bit later?"

"Obviously."

"'Kay, cool," she smiled and pulled herself away, disappearing into the bathroom to change. She peeked over her shoulder just as she reached his bedroom door and saw him smiling at her.

Edward and Bella sat cuddled under a blanket in their pajamas on the couch in the living room with their sandwiches, legs entwined.

"You know that drawing you showed me of the six of us as superheroes?" Bella asked suddenly, taking another bite of her ham and cheese.

"Uh-huh," he replied through a mouthful.

"Can I have it?"

"Sure," he said. "Why do you want it?"

Bella shrugged. "There's just something I want to do with it."

Edward looked at her quizzically, but didn't question her further.

They spent the rest of their night watching movies in the dark, and eventually fell asleep cuddled up on the couch together.

* * *

The next morning, the group met up at the diner for breakfast.

Once they all got settled in their booth, Alice announced that she was going to the ladies' room. "Girls?"

Bella rolled her eyes as she and Rosalie got up to follow her. Once they were safely behind the closed bathroom door, Rosalie checked under the stall doors to make sure they were alone.

"So?" Rosalie pressed. She knew exactly what they were about to discuss.

"It was _so_ weird," Alice began. "I mean, it definitely isn't like anything you see in the movies. Not at all. It's super awkward and I wouldn't even call it romantic, right Rosie? Please say you had the same experience."

Bella's eyes shot to Rosalie, who suddenly looked uncomfortable, and was looking down at her shuffling feet. "Well, um, actually…" she finally took a deep breath, exhaling loudly, and looked up at her friends. "We didn't do it."

"You _didn't_?" Bella asked in surprise.

Rosalie shook her head, her cheeks turning a shade of pink they had never turned before.

"How come?" Alice asked.

"I couldn't go through with it."

"Wow," Bella breathed. If she were betting on who would have chickened out, it definitely would have been Alice.

"Well that's okay, Rosie," Alice told her.

"Oh, I know. I just felt so bad. You know, for leading him on like that. I felt like such a jerk."

"Was he mean about it?" Bella asked, horrified. She would _kill_ him if he made things hard on poor Rosalie, knowing what a big deal it is.

"Oh, no no no. Of course not. He was a perfect gentleman. He kept reassuring me that we had all the time in the world."

"Well that's a relief," Alice chimed in.

"You really shouldn't feel bad about anything," Bella said. "I mean, I almost caved last night too, and Edward was just amazing."

"What?" Alice asked, very loudly.

"Oh, stop. We were in the heat of the moment and I kind of thought for a second that I wanted to, and then I just…couldn't."

"Bella Swan, you _shock_ me!" Alice exclaimed in mock horror.

"Well, don't be too shocked because nothing happened."

"Wow, Alice. So tell us everything. What happened? What was it like?" Rosalie asked, much more interested in what Alice might have to say than anything else.

The girls kept the gossip as short as they could, knowing that the guys were waiting for them, before heading back to the table.

The group exchanged their respective prom stories while feasting on a good old-fashioned greasy diner breakfast. As much as Bella hated to admit it, she found herself soaking it all in just a little more than usual, admitting to herself that Alice was right: their days like this were numbered.


	14. Departures

_**This is it! The last chapter...I hope you enjoyed this story, I'm really looking forward to starting my next one, though I likely won't be posting anything until it's done. I hate having such long waits between new posts!**_

_**Thanks for reading! : )**_

* * *

**JULY**

The day came faster than any of them could have expected, and as they sat huddled around a fire on their last night together at home, their impending separation remained the metaphorical elephant in the room.

"I'm going to miss this beach," Rosalie sighed.

"Well, look who's getting all sentimental," Alice said sarcastically. "_Don't bring us all down, Rosie,_" she mocked, having been teased relentlessly for her talk about leaving Forks.

Everyone laughed, except for Alice.

"This is different," Rosalie argued. "I'm leaving tomorrow. _Tomorrow_. Can you believe it?"

"Nope," Emmett said quietly from beside her.

The group fell silent for a brief moment, and Bella took the time to glance at the faces of each of her friends. These people brought her back from the dead, figuratively speaking. She would never have been ready to face another huge change in her life if she hadn't been brought to them. The thought sent a chill down her spine and Edward responded instantly, wrapping his arm tightly around her shoulders and pulling her close.

She looked at him and asked her silent question. _Now?_

He nodded in return, smiling pleasantly down at her. She noticed his cheeks taking on a faint blush, and nudged his side as if to tell him it was okay.

Bella stood up abruptly, and everyone eyed her suspiciously.

"I have something for you all," she said. "Well, Edward and I do. A gift."

"A gift? I didn't know we were doing gifts," Alice said.

"We're not. It's just something that we thought each of us should have, to get ready for school. A piece of home to take with us."

"Okay…" Emmett's voice trailed off. "What is it?"

She jogged over to the trunk of Edward's car and opened it up. Just as she reached for a stack of wrapped gifts, his hands swooped in and grabbed them first. She smiled at him in thanks, and took the remaining two.

They handed each of their friends an identical flat rectangular gift adorned with a ribbon, wrapped in pink and orange for the girls, and blue and green for the boys. They each eyed their packages suspiciously as Bella and Edward took their seats again. She grasped his hand tightly, as she could see that he was nervous about this.

"Can we open them now?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, open them!" Bella urged enthusiastically.

They all tore through the paper as quickly as they could. At the sound of Alice's loud gasp, Bella knew she had gotten a good look at what it was.

It was a framed copy of Edward's drawing of the six superheroes – one for each of their dorm rooms.

"Bella, did you…?" Alice began.

"No," she interrupted. "Edward. It was Edward's drawing. He drew that," she boasted, smiling brightly as she took in their astonishment.

Alice looked up at him with tears rimming her eyes. "Edward," she choked. She looked back at the picture again, and let the tears fall. "It's so beautiful."

"Edward, you are incredible!" Rosalie gushed. "How have we never seen this before? You're so talented. How did you keep this from us? Why?"

Edward glanced briefly at Jasper, who was smirking back at him.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I was embarrassed, I guess."

"Embarrassed?" Emmett boasted. "Dude, this is _talent_. Amazing!"

Edward blushed deeper, unsure of how to deal with all this praise. Bella leaned into him and nuzzled her face into his cheek.

"Told you," she whispered.

He turned his face and caught her eye before suddenly leaning over to kiss her.

"You guys are my best friends." The sound of Rosalie's tear-filled voice caught everyone's attention.

_How true_, Bella thought, and watched as Emmett tenderly pulled Rosalie close to him as she rested her head on his shoulder.

Alice looked back at her framed superhero drawing as tears sprung to her eyes. "I'm going to miss you all so much."

Bella continued to fight the tears that threatened to spill, and was relieved when Jasper spoke.

"All right, guys. Bring it in," he said as he stood, holding his arms out to the group, a slight smile playing on his lips. It was clear he was attempting to diffuse the heavy mood, in true Jasper fashion, though he was clearly getting emotional himself. Edward laughed, and Emmett stood to give Jasper a hug.

"Come on," Emmett urged the rest, and Edward joined them, still laughing. The weeping girls slowly made their way to the three boys, who enveloped them in the center of their group hug.

Tomorrow the group would be separated, with Rosalie and Emmett leaving first. Bella and Edward would be going a few days later, and Jasper and Alice would head to New York a few days after that, on the first of August.

"It's going to be so weird without you guys here," Alice murmured from inside the circle.

"It will only be for a week, Alice, and then you'll be off too," Rosalie reassured her.

"I know. But still."

With one last big squeeze, the hug broke off and everyone took their seats again.

"What's my superpower, Edward?" Rosalie asked.

Bella smiled as Edward began explaining what each of their superpowers was. Each of them agreed wholeheartedly that each suited the person perfectly.

As the evening wound down, they all headed to the cars. Rosalie and Edward would take Jasper home, while the cousins travelled together.

Though they would all being seeing one another again tomorrow to send Rosalie and Emmett off, this goodbye was a symbolic one. The next time they saw each other all together, they would have a whole new set of life experience that were obtained independently from one another.

"One more group hug? For me?" Alice asked sweetly, before they all parted ways.

Everyone complied, laughing and carrying on. They were all more than happy to comply with Alice's request, and eventually separated reluctantly.

For Bella, Alice and Emmett, the drive home was a quiet one, each reflecting on the new road ahead of them. Bella was feeling as peaceful and hopeful as ever as she thought about her return to Chicago, and she smiled to herself in the backseat, excited for her homecoming.

The goodbye to Emmett and Rosalie was tear-filled, with promises to text every single day, and to have weekly phone calls.

Though Bella had only been a part of this group for a short time, it was very hard for her to say goodbye to her closest friends. They had been such a huge part in her recovery without even knowing it, and moving back to her hometown without them as a support system worried her.

_But I have Edward_, she told herself, and this thought gave her great comfort.

The scene would be similar in another couple of days, when it would be Bella and Edward's time to go. She was almost grateful that she wasn't leaving last so that she wouldn't have to endure saying goodbye to Alice, but was sad to miss out on an extra few short days with her and Jasper.

When the time came for Bella and Edward to be on their way, Bella was a shaky mess. She repeated things over and over in her mind to remind her of all the reasons things would be fine. _I'm not alone. I have Edward. I'll be with Emily again. Emily's parents will be there for me. I can come back to Carlisle and Esme whenever I want._

Edward was hugely supportive in his own way, catching her eye with a reassuring smile at every chance he could, helping her with her boxes and luggage, almost as if showing her directly that he was there to help her and to catch her if she stumbled along the way. He held her hand tightly as they arrived at the airport and stood in the security line, and even tighter as their plane sped down the runway and made its way into the afternoon sky.

She reflected back on her goodbyes to Carlisle and Esme as she gazed out the window of the ascending airplane. They were almost a blur to her, as her mind had been fixated on her impending arrival in Chicago. She hoped they knew how much she loved them, and vowed to call them as soon as she landed to tell them.

Too quickly, the flight was coming to an end, and Bella's heart rate sped up once again as they began their descent. She was fusing her worlds together: her past and her present. It almost felt as though she was introducing Edward to her parents for the first time and was nervous about whether or not they'd like him.

Seemingly out of nowhere Edward gently pulled her face towards his and looked pointedly into her eyes. "Let's do this," he whispered, and then added as a reminder, "Together."

She nodded with wide eyes, and focused on taking deep breaths, until his lips locked gently with hers and she melted into him.

They stepped off the plane together, hands clasped, and into the airport to collect their bags. Once outside in the warm summer air, Bella took a look around her. In the instant she stepped into the Chicago light with Edward by her side, she knew: she was home.

_Mom, Dad, this is Edward. Edward, these are my parents_.

She looked up at him, hands still held tight, and smiled. His answering smile told her all she needed to know. This was the right place for her, for them.

_Here we go…_

* * *

**_The End._**


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